Cheating wife apologized but doesn't want back in

[Mr. Goodguy]

Hey guys it has been a while. I was the one with the "Divorce is Coming" post part 1, 2 and 3 back in March. You guys were more helpful then you could have imagined and I thank you for it.

Well my ex has been moved out since March and for quite awhile was very mean and belligerent even though she is the one that cheated. I have done my best to be cool and just try not to create any waves for the sake of my sons.

This is the situation that my ex still comes to the house 4 nights a week and cooks for the boys from 6-7:30 and comes to the house one day one the weekends and stays with the boys from 10-6. The boys can't go over there because they live with 2 roommates and he has an assault charge. I am never there when she does and until about a week ago I haven' seen her in 2 1/2 months.

So a little over a week ago she sends me an email asking if I can meet her at the house before she leaves. I say about what she says I need to tell you something. I go to the house and meet her she then begins to tell me that she is sorry for what she did and how she handled it that I did not deserve anything that happened and that she was sorry. I asked he why now and she said it would have been a hollow apology and it was just the time for it. Now I am mentally moved on and know that I can never trust her again and our time is done. I guys my question is why is she saying that? I really didnt expect anything for a few years if at all. Did she do this for me or to make herself feel better Or am I overthinking something that should just be dropped?

[Diezel]

Who cares?

 

She probably just apologized for her own sake. Her apology changes nothing.

And yes, stop overthinking it.

[chew123]

My wife apologized a lot. Just trying to make themselves feel better.

 

Actions mean a lot more then words.

[regret143]

Who cares?

 

She probably just apologized for her own sake. Her apology changes nothing.

And yes, stop overthinking it.

 

Ditto.

 

Be glad that you moved on (I didn't)

[Mr. Goodguy]

Guys thank you for the insight and you are right it changes nothing

[Imajerk17]

These threads of yours are so painful to read Mr Goodguy because you AND your sons are making this too easy for you stbx.

 

She gets to come over 4 nights a week but her sons can't go where she stays because her bf has an assault record? Your sons actually accept all this? Seriously? Hell if I were your sons I either wouldn't be talking to her, or I don't think I'd even be letting her go back to her crime-record boyfriend. Even if I had to overpower my mom to make that happen.

 

You AND your sons need to be tougher. And if I were you I'd get a gun (self-protection purposes of course).

Edited September 9, 2015 by Imajerk17

[Dutchman1]

Mr. Good guy,

I'm really sorry for your pain, believe me, I've been there.

If I understand right, you don't want her back, and she doesn't want to come back.

What she told and mailed you was only for her to feel better, she's not sorry, she chose the criminal toyboy, she wants to get laid a few times a day,your brain knows, Sorry mate.

 

There is a way for you to heal much faster. You read here and learn.

It's not for you to grow a.set of B.......

It's not of exposure to the people you know.

 

1. Make other arrangements with the meals. Don't let.her in the house for god sake, she left months ago.

2.She can.see.the.kids at a park or with friends.

3.tell the.kids mommy has got herself a.new man, but don't talk bad of her.

4.stop credit cards etc.

5. Also very very important!!!collect all her belongings and bring it to a storage, this is sooooooo important.

6. Make your house a fun and safe place where you and the boys can feel at home and this is a new start.

 

So sorry, but the wife you fell in love with and worshipped is no more.

She didn't make a.mistake but a choice.

 

My friend, our thoughts and support are with you and your boys.

 

 

Dutchman 1

[m.snow]

i dont get the title?

"Cheating wife apologized but doesn't want back in"

 

does that mean you want her back in the house?

 

or does that mean she wants back in the house?

[Mr. Goodguy]

Well to answer a few post:

 

1. For me not to let her come and cook for the boys only hurts them.

2. There has not been anymore incidents and I assured her if there were she would have a problem.

3. My boys are not confrontational but they did let her know that even when she get her own place they would never visit as long as he is there. They are just trying to keep the peace and my youngest doesnt know about all of the criminal charge details.

4. Trust me as far as tough she has never seen me like this before. She can look in my eyes and see that there is really no room for bull****. I am able to stand there and look at her with no emotions she actually is disgusting more then anything

5. We are just trying to get the divorce final and move on with our lives.

6.Thanks to so very loving but brutally honest friends who slapped off my rose colored glasses slapped me in the face stomped on the glasses and threw them into the ocean. I am much further down the line then I would be. I still have a rough moment wondering how this happened but it doesn't last long.

[Dutchman1]

I will PM you asap. Urgent and crucial

[Mr. Goodguy]

Dutchman1 ?