xcupid Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I like it when she comes and visits but when she told me that last night it kind of hurt how should I feel when she does come over shouldn't she be happy and feel comfortable when she is here what should I think about this kind of mad and hurt What's so different about her place and your place? What does she need to feel more comfortable? It may simply be the newness of the relationship since you haven't been dating very long or it could be something about your place that is off-putting. Don't make assumptions. Ask her for specifics and how you can make her feel more comfortable.
Diezel Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I didn't ask what she told me before is she doesn't like packing a suitcase and living out of a suitcase while she is here Gaeta, just as a review of what has happened in this thread. (1) She expresses she doesn't feel at home. She says she doesn't like packing a suitcase. (2) He offers a drawer. (3) She refuses it. So since you are the only one who apparently isn't getting the hint, what do you think SHE means by refusing the drawer and saying she doesn't want to live out of a suitcase?
Gaeta Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 She clearly wants something else and it's more than a drawer at least. Again, why do you assume she wants more than a drawer? Maybe she's not enough into him to stay there with him, that's not her wanting <more> than a drawer. That would be her not caring enough to put a change of clothes and toothbrush in a bag. 2
Gaeta Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Gaeta, just as a review of what has happened in this thread. (1) She expresses she doesn't feel at home. She says she doesn't like packing a suitcase. (2) He offers a drawer. (3) She refuses it. So since you are the only one who apparently isn't getting the hint, what do you think SHE means by refusing the drawer and saying she doesn't want to live out of a suitcase? She means she is too lazy and doesn't care enough to pack up a bag and stay at his place. Having a drawer would mean = stay at his place. She doesn't want that. Her not wanting the drawer does not mean she wants more. It means she doesn't care enough. She wants it easy. But it could also be something she doesn't want to offend OP with. Maybe his place is not as clean as she's used to, maybe he has a room-mate? None of my boyfriend's bathroom made me want to stay at their place. No mirror, no shelves, no half decent towels, cheap toilet paper, no hair dryer. BUT I stayed because I wanted to be with them. Maybe it's just that.
kendahke Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I think that at 2 months in, using an overnight bag if you're sleeping over elsewhere is a reasonable thing. I've done it. I never offered up drawer space or real estate at my place until we were well past 5 months of dating. I understand that at her place, all of her toilette is readily handy and at your place, it's not. That's about the only thing I can see is different between staying at her place and staying at yours. OP--how about you just chillin' at her place and don't invite her over since she's not comfortable there yet?
Gaeta Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have a female friend who never wanted to stay over night at her boyfriend because she needs 100 products in the morning and packing for one night was like packing for a week. Are you dating that kind of girl? Does it take her 1 hour in the morning to get her hair and face right? If yes than you got your answer. 1
Gary S Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have a female friend who never wanted to stay over night at her boyfriend because she needs 100 products in the morning and packing for one night was like packing for a week. Are you dating that kind of girl? Does it take her 1 hour in the morning to get her hair and face right? If yes than you got your answer. There is nothing wrong with a woman having 100 products to doll herself up with, or owning a hundred pairs of shoes. Yes, a man said that! The problem is when they can't rough it for one night - that would be high maintenance. Ask her how she feels about camping - that should really give you your answer!
katiegrl Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) Then she needs to learn how to communicate what it is she really wants. She clearly wants something else and it's more than a drawer at least. Bottomline, the guy needs to ask her instead of giving us nebulous information for use in drawing conclusions/make assumptions. Not sure if she wants more....however it does sound like she wants something different from what she's doing now -- i.e. packing an overnight bag so she can stay and his place. My thinking is that she is hinting that she wants HIM to stay at HER place. She doesn't like packing a bag, living out of a suitcase....so in her mind...let HIM pack the overnight bag....and lug his things to her place. She's too passive to tell him directly, so she hints by telling him she is uncomfortable at his place...and doesn't like living out of suitcase. Hellooooo..... that's your cue OP - she wants YOU to stay at HER place. OP, why are you not staying at her place? Does she live with her parents? If that is the case, then nevermind what I said above. If not, then again, why are you not offering to stay at HER place? In any event, she sounds difficult and maybe not that into you all that much anyway. Like d0nnivan said, packing an overnight is a small price to pay to sleep and wake up in her boyfriend's arms.... Edited September 8, 2015 by katiegrl
introverted1 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 OP are these weekday or weekend sleepovers? I am not at all high maintenance but I would not enjoy having to pack up my stuff and then get ready at someone else's house if it was a workday. On a weekend, sure, but on a workday I need to be refreshed and relaxed when I head out the door or the whole day is going to be difficult. Anyway, you need to talk to her and find out what, specifically, makes her feel not at home at your place. And then take it from there. I think it's premature to assume she is high maintenance/expecting to move in/unromantic/whatever else has been suggested.
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