Toodaloo Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Chap has messaged. Not your usual fancy a F*** but oh my god is he just freaky weird and rude... Because I have in my profile that I am happy he has accused me of not being happy. He has copied and pasted parts of my profile into messages to "prove" that he has read it... This guy is about to get one very short sharp thrift or ignored. While I am sure the out burst will make me feel better for 30 seconds I think ignore is the best way to go. I have just shown one of the chaps at work and he couldn't believe that someone could be so insulting and completely weird...
guest569 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Sounds like one of the chaps on these forums. Block! 8
Author Toodaloo Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 It was a mass barrage of "well if you think you are so great I think your a loser"... "I have been told I have to read your profile so look here I am reading it *copy, paste, copy, paste"... It was so passive aggressive I just thought you know what- I do not like this guy. If he comes near me I am going to nut (head butt) him, kick him in the shins and run away. I wouldn't want to work with him, I wouldn't want to socialise with him, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him at all. It was horrible. The "fancy a f***?" messages are no where near as bad. Half decent looking bloke, not much on his profile just the usual... But oh my word. That man needs to get a life! I have ignored rather than rise to the bait. Thankfully he seems to have got the hint. Got a few others I have been saying hello to. One in particular is standing out and I think I would like to meet him. I feel sorry for rude man. I doubt he is going to get anywhere far. 1
Author Toodaloo Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 LOL. No, he's not bitter at all. Ha I know!!! And that is supposed to be attractive??? First messages were as follows; 1. Honest Profile 2. looser 3. Joke LMAO 4. Your supposed to read the profiles right 5. 6. and 7. were copy and pastes from my profile... Oh come back 21 yr olds who just want a FB... all is forgiven!
Jules Dash Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Sounds like one of the chaps on these forums. Block! Hilarious!
Jj66 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I've only blocked one woman. Her initial (only) message to me was a rant and accusations that I am controlling because of the way I answered one of the OKC questions. She evidently took my answer to a generic question as a personal attack on her. What a total nut job. 1
oberkeat Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Chap has messaged. Not your usual fancy a F*** but oh my god is he just freaky weird and rude... Because I have in my profile that I am happy he has accused me of not being happy. He has copied and pasted parts of my profile into messages to "prove" that he has read it... This guy is about to get one very short sharp thrift or ignored. While I am sure the out burst will make me feel better for 30 seconds I think ignore is the best way to go. I have just shown one of the chaps at work and he couldn't believe that someone could be so insulting and completely weird... I think it's interesting that some women post complaints about the crappy messages they get from some guys on dating sites. But when these same girls actually receive friendly, thoughtful messages from decent guys, what happens? They ignore them and don't reply. To me, that's hypocritical.
jen1447 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I think it's interesting that some women post complaints about the crappy messages they get from some guys on dating sites. But when these same girls actually receive friendly, thoughtful messages from decent guys, what happens? They ignore them and don't reply. To me, that's hypocritical. That assumes there are only crappy messages from terrible guys and friendly, thoughtful messages from decent guys. I assume there are also occasionally friendly messages from crappy guys and crappy messages from decent guys, etc., etc.
oberkeat Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) That assumes there are only crappy messages from terrible guys and friendly, thoughtful messages from decent guys. I assume there are also occasionally friendly messages from crappy guys and crappy messages from decent guys, etc., etc. She has no idea if they're quality men until she meets them. OP's complaint is about the quality of the messages, not the guys. The point is, I'd like to see some woman post one thread on these forums talking about a nice message she got from a guy: "Today I received a wonderful, flirty, witty, intelligent message in my inbox. Of course, I ignored and deleted it." Or "I got a bunch of great messages from a guy, but I flaked on him before the first date." It never happens. Because if it did, most of us here would say, "why'd you delete it? what's wrong with you?" Maybe they'd rather talk about the crappy messages to keep from asking themselves hard questions about why they're still single. Edited September 8, 2015 by oberkeat 1
Imajerk17 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Sounds like one of the chaps on these forums. Block! Yep. I am also wondering though, was he short? 2
jen1447 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 She has no idea if they're quality men until she meets them. OP's complaint is about the quality of the messages, not the guys. The point is, I'd like to see some woman post one thread on these forums talking about a nice message she got from a guy: "Today I received a wonderful, flirty, witty, intelligent message in my inbox. Of course, I ignored and deleted it." Or "I got a bunch of great messages from a guy, but I flaked on him before the first date." It never happens. Because if it did, most of us here would say, "why'd you delete it? what's wrong with you?" The woman can't or won't answer that question. Probably bc they generally don't delete those, but they may delete ones from "quality guys" like this: "Dear Toodaloo, you seem like a wonderful person and I'd be delighted to meet you. I'm a recently divorced man who's looking for a new wife to spend the rest of my life with. Would you care to join me for coffee this Tuesday at 5?" She's entitled to a level of discretion that you may not approve of, sorry. (Everyone is.) 2
oberkeat Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) Probably bc they generally don't delete those Oh yes, they do! She's entitled to a level of discretion that you may not approve of, sorry. (Everyone is.) I don't think discretion is the issue here. It's when you whine about bad messages, when you're receiving plenty of good ones that you choose not to respond to: that's what doesn't make sense. But I see girls do it all the time, and sadly they get plenty of sympathy on these forums when they do. Edited September 8, 2015 by oberkeat
jen1447 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Probably bc they generally don't delete thoseOh yes, they do! You're saying that women do generally delete nice messages? How do you know that, and why would they do that? I don't think discretion is the issue here. It's when you whine about bad messages, when you're receiving plenty of good ones that you choose not to respond to: that's what doesn't make sense. But I see girls do it all the time, and sadly they get plenty of sympathy on these forums when they do. Isn't t safe to assume that if a person deletes a message, even a "good" one (what does that mean exactly?), there's sth about it they don't like? That's their entitled level of discretion at play. 1
guest569 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 What are you talking about, oberkeat? This clearly wasn't a "good" message, its aggressive and scary. 1
oberkeat Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 You're saying that women do generally delete nice messages? How do you know that, and why would they do that? Isn't t safe to assume that if a person deletes a message, even a "good" one (what does that mean exactly?), there's sth about it they don't like? That's their entitled level of discretion at play. I speak from experience. When I was dating online, I sent out several million first messages that were well thought out, polite, non sexual, light hearted, demonstrated I had read the girls profile, and demonstrated curiosity -- in other words, quality messages -- and still got few replies. Guys can do everything right with their messages and still get routinely ignored by women on these sites. so making a thread were you complain about the bad messages guys send you, when even a quality message won't get your reply screams hypocrisy.
jen1447 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I speak from experience. When I was dating online, I sent out several million first messages that were well thought out, polite, non sexual, light hearted, demonstrated I had read the girls profile, and demonstrated curiosity -- in other words, quality messages -- and still got few replies. Guys can do everything right with their messages and still get routinely ignored by women on these sites. so making a thread were you complain about the bad messages guys send you, when even a quality message won't get your reply screams hypocrisy. How do you know for sure that your messages were "everything right?" Isn't that a subjective judgment for each person, dependent more on their sensibilities than some overarching notion of objective "quality?" Maybe some women like guys who aren't overly friendly and effusive for example. Also, did you ever message Toodles? If not, why would you criticize her here in her own thread when you're not even sure she's 'one of them?' 5
Author Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 I speak from experience. When I was dating online, I sent out several million first messages that were well thought out, polite, non sexual, light hearted, demonstrated I had read the girls profile, and demonstrated curiosity -- in other words, quality messages -- and still got few replies. Guys can do everything right with their messages and still get routinely ignored by women on these sites. so making a thread were you complain about the bad messages guys send you, when even a quality message won't get your reply screams hypocrisy. oberkeat Look back you will see that this man was not polite. He was insulting within seconds. He was "proving his point" which is not at all thoughtful. I am sure men get messages like this too. My thread was simply pointing out that if you want someone to talk to you perhaps its better not to insult them within your first message or start copy and pasting parts of their profile and sending it to them... Thats just weird behavior and NOT going to get a date from anyone sane and sensible.
elaine567 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Chap has messaged. Not your usual fancy a F*** but oh my god is he just freaky weird and rude... Because I have in my profile that I am happy he has accused me of not being happy. He has copied and pasted parts of my profile into messages to "prove" that he has read it... This guy is about to get one very short sharp thrift or ignored. While I am sure the out burst will make me feel better for 30 seconds I think ignore is the best way to go. I have just shown one of the chaps at work and he couldn't believe that someone could be so insulting and completely weird... I believe it is called "negging" and is a trick. He is trying to make himself stand out from the crowd, by bringing you down a peg. YOU are supposed to go, "This is one interesting guy, how can I win this guy's attention and make him like me." BUT I guess your reaction is more common in reality. If he is tearing you apart before you have even met, how is that going to work long term? 3
GemmaUK Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I believe it is called "negging" and is a trick. He is trying to make himself stand out from the crowd, by bringing you down a peg. YOU are supposed to go, "This is one interesting guy, how can I win this guy's attention and make him like me." BUT I guess your reaction is more common in reality. If he is tearing you apart before you have even met, how is that going to work long term? Agreed, they are like toddlers wanting 'some' kind of attention. Any kind of reply is good for them as they have something to reply back to. In the past I have had mails like this from guys who have then, some time later completely forgotten they have mailed me before and what they sent, they'll send me a very nice mail and tell me what a nice guy they are. I've also had the reverse, nice mail to begin with and then a few days/weeks later a new mail being actually pretty nasty towards me. I've had all kinds of insults - ones about me, about my family. I recall one guy who was particularly vile and I had a free evening so decided to reply. It was hilarious! He absolutely went off on one at me! At the end he asked me on a date.....he told me I had passed his test. Lucky me eh!? I reported and blocked him and he was kicked off the site.
Kamille Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Oh yes, they do! I don't think discretion is the issue here. It's when you whine about bad messages, when you're receiving plenty of good ones that you choose not to respond to: that's what doesn't make sense. But I see girls do it all the time, and sadly they get plenty of sympathy on these forums when they do. How do you know women never reply to good messages? I only reply to good messages. Granted, I don't reply to all of good messages because, get this, 90% of the messages I get on OLD are well thought out. And considering I have friends to see, a job to do and an apartment to clean, I just don't have time to reply to everyone who sends me a good message. If you find that offensive, then you have issues. I don't use OLD to give away points for writing. I use OLD to add to my life. Basic moral of the story: don't get offended if a stranger on the internet doesn't reply to your messages. It's the most insignificant type of rejection out there and likely only means the receiver of the message is just busy doing other things or dating another guy. 4
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I don't think discretion is the issue here. It's when you whine about bad messages, when you're receiving plenty of good ones that you choose not to respond to: that's what doesn't make sense. But I see girls do it all the time, and sadly they get plenty of sympathy on these forums when they do. Agreed 100% And then they actually have the nerve to whine about their "creep" experiences right IN their profile when the very same woman would ignore my emails. Esp. when they demand, "Please, no cut-and-paste emails, I'll know it's not genuine!" So when I craft up an email to them, only to have it ignored...then they proceed to wine about emails that they keep getting and don't like IN their profile. It's hard to feel sorry for them when that's the case. 1
Kamille Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Ha! I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me. It's mostly funny to talk about the weirdo messages you can get. And like I said, I only reply to good messages, but then, only when I'm bored because my on social networks aren't producing interesting guys. So I reply to about 3 OLD messages every month or so. Stop imagining that every person on OLD is behind their computer 100% time of the day. Most of us aren't. Plus, if Ashley Madison has taught us anything it's this: there are a lot of fake profiles out there. Non response rejections are insignificant. Stop wasting you anger on it.
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 The guy has read too many PUA books or the like... he was trying to elicit a response out you by negging you.. and not well by the way, it certainly got a response... just not back to him. Block and delete
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