Popsicle Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I was watching this TV show and this girl has this guy who is her BFF and I really admire what they have. They are strictly platonic and both of them are single but neither of them are dating pool right now, so they just hang and it seems to relaxed and non-stressful and just...cool. They laugh and tell each other everything are there when they need each other and are just great friends, nothing sexual. Neither of them are trying to date or sleep with the other either so there's no awkwardness or feelings boiling under the surface afraid to hurt the others feelings. Since neither of them are dating they don't sit around whining about their relationship problems to each other or their lack of relationship either. I just wish I had something like that with a guy, it would be great. It's been so many years since I've had that, probably since I was 15-18. I think I may have come full circle again now. So single ladies, if you have one of these, tell me about your single platonic male friends so I can live vicariously through you. 1
MrBojangles Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I'm not a lady, but I hope you won't mind me sharing. I've always had a good platonic female friend. Always. Never anything sexual, just occasional flirting, but never a desire to take things any further. Until my current lady friend got married and started a family, she would drag me to the mall with her, and afterwards take in a good movie, then have dinner. It was a great no pressure friendship. Psychologically for me, it was like having the fulfillment of a romantic relationship, minus the romance. Though we still talk everyday, and exchange over 3000 texts each month, I really miss the times I use to spend with her. Funny thing is, no one had a clue just how close we were, and would not have believe we were just friends. 1
Author Popsicle Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 I'm not a lady, but I hope you won't mind me sharing. I've always had a good platonic female friend. Always. Never anything sexual, just occasional flirting, but never a desire to take things any further. Until my current lady friend got married and started a family, she would drag me to the mall with her, and afterwards take in a good movie, then have dinner. It was a great no pressure friendship. Psychologically for me, it was like having the fulfillment of a romantic relationship, minus the romance. Though we still talk everyday, and exchange over 3000 texts each month, I really miss the times I use to spend with her. Funny thing is, no one had a clue just how close we were, and would not have believe we were just friends. That is lovely. Thank you for sharing. 1
mystikmind2005 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 i have seen it happen fairly frequently where two people in a relationship simultaneously call it quits and remain good friends - it is very easy to do if both genuinely no longer wanted to be in the relationship. I do however have one female friend who told me a similar story as above but was secretly devestated, tried to hide it and ended up getting OCD
lollipopspot Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have platonic male friends, one of them very close. It seems very natural to me. 2
Gold Pile Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have an ex friends with benefits lady friend. We did the sex thing early on, I would've gladly kept it at that but she wanted a real relationship and she moved on. Eventually she broke up with Mr Right, she and I did booty calls for a time, till she found the next Mr Right. Her pattern is to always seek a real relationship and it never works out. For the last few years she is my platonic friend. The others guys come and go but I'm her friend it seems forever. Harsh to say, but a vital component is that her looks have slightly declined and thus I feel no great urge to have sex with her. Over time I've come to enjoy her for her personality and friendship. 1
newmoon Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 i have one, but i don't care what anyone says... it can never be strictly platonic. someone likes someone *that* way, or is at least willing to consider the idea, or *go there* if an opportunity presents itself. this could be the guy or the girl, but some investment is occurring on the chance it might become something more. someone has to be strong enough - and disinterested enough - to never cross that line for them both. but it's nice, to have a male friend to go places with that i feel uncomfortable alone, and to vent frustrations about others, etc. i have a married platonic friend as well that i've known for 12 years - that gets tricky, because some men - he is one - is a natural flirt - and despite being married he can be very flirty, even innocently. and what if, one day, i decided to really flirt back? it can get messy. all in all... i don't like male/female friendships as much.
PrettyEmily77 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 My closest friend is male, straight, single and lovely. We've known each other since med school, he's seen me through a few Rs / break ups, I've seen him chat up just about every girl he sets his eyes on (with relative success). He 's not the settling down type and there've been many times when we were single at the same time but neither sees the other as nothing more than a friend. I have an elder brother I'm also very close to so to me it's completely natural. He got introduced to my BF early on and I'm relieved and happy they get on reasonably well. 1
RedRobin Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have lots of platonic male friends. I've worked around all men my whole adult life and have quite a few hobbies that men enjoy, so I have a pretty easy time talking to them. With two of them, there was an attempt early on to push it into something more romantic, but I made it clear that wasn't happening (both of them are WAAAYYY too old for me)... but they liked my company enough I guess and we've stayed friends for years. Another was a guy I dated for a year, but it was clear to both of us that we wouldn't fit for marriage, and we became good friends after some period of separation and healing. There was never any FWB stage. If he had tried that approach, we wouldn't have stayed friends. He and I see eye to eye on that. I don't respect guys who have FWB and don't really want to be around them. With those guys, it would be strictly acquaintances only... but never someone I'd knowingly be close friends with. I'm trying to think if I ever kept a guy around who had suggested FWB with me or tried to talk me into one... nope. Can't think of one. 1
ManyDissapoint Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have become very good friends with my first cousin's girlfriend. We see each other more often than they see each other in fact, because I do some side jobs for her. Generally I think it takes such special circumstances for men and women to be more than superficial friends. 1
PaperCrane Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Good luck. Purely platonic M/F friendships are hard. One party usually ends up with feelings for the other. It may appear normal but one is usually good at hiding it and being unhappy. It can happen...it's just rare. 1
mystikmind2005 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I have an ex friends with benefits lady friend. We did the sex thing early on, I would've gladly kept it at that but she wanted a real relationship and she moved on. Eventually she broke up with Mr Right, she and I did booty calls for a time, till she found the next Mr Right. Her pattern is to always seek a real relationship and it never works out. For the last few years she is my platonic friend. The others guys come and go but I'm her friend it seems forever. Harsh to say, but a vital component is that her looks have slightly declined and thus I feel no great urge to have sex with her. Over time I've come to enjoy her for her personality and friendship. This is an interesting post? What is it about a FWB relationship that makes it work better than a real relationship? Hmmm this is worth giving some serious thought too *puts thinking cap on*
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