heather03 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I'm talking to a guy thats about 7 years older than me. We've gone out on two really great dates and I like him, but the last date he said the only serious relationship he was in was for 2 years and they were engaged, until she cheated on him. Before that he was only in short relationships, maybe 4 months long. He said he's not good at relationships and gets bored kind of easily. Yet he still texts me every few days and already is saying that he wants to take me out for my birthday (a month away), but I feel like he keeps trying to invite me over to his place anytime we want to get together (either for drinks on his rooftop, or last time he said for a movie etc, and I think its just code for sex...) He seems like an honest guy and is very up front with things. He also said that I'm his first real date since he and his ex broke up a year ago, but I'm assuming he slept with other girls before then. When he does text me, he asks how my day is going, things about my life, etc. But I just cant tell if he's just looking for sex or something more serious. I'm not looking for a casual hook up...but what are your opinions?
Marc878 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 It's hard to tell. Maybe he's discovered you might be the one for him. If he's asking about your day, etc that's a good sign. Only time will tell. If he has the qualities youre looking for in a man then see how it developes. I wouldn't go to his place until you feel comfortable with him. If he is into you he should be willing to wait. If not then you'll be better off. Exciting stuff! You are in a win, win situation!
jam.over.jelly Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 CHances are he is hoping to get laid, otherwise he would not consistently ask you to come over. Plus, he said it himself, he's not good at relationships. I feel like you need to be careful here not to get hurt. Be really honest with him about what you are looking for and see what he has to say, but then again he could be a player and he could say whatever it is you want to hear. It's scary how they can make you believe and fall for them. I think it's best to keep all your dates outside of your place or his place, or anywhere private in that matter, make them active dates, always be doing something on your date, if he's genuinely interested he would stick around, regardless if you go back to his place or not.
mystikmind2005 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I would not be too worried about his intent one way or the other. Because these days even if the intent is a long term relationship, statistically speaking, its gonna crash. There is practically no difference between a fling and a long term relationship cut short - same difference. So you may as well hope for the best and allow yourself to be surprised if it fails. That is far better than living in fear of failure
xcupid Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 "He said he's not good at relationships and gets bored kind of easily." "But I just cant tell if he's just looking for sex or something more serious. I'm not looking for a casual hook up...but what are your opinions? " He's looking for sex.
Author heather03 Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 "He said he's not good at relationships and gets bored kind of easily." "But I just cant tell if he's just looking for sex or something more serious. I'm not looking for a casual hook up...but what are your opinions? " He's looking for sex. So should I kind of out right ask him, or sort of distance myself from him?
Redhead14 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I'm talking to a guy thats about 7 years older than me. We've gone out on two really great dates and I like him, but the last date he said the only serious relationship he was in was for 2 years and they were engaged, until she cheated on him. Before that he was only in short relationships, maybe 4 months long. He said he's not good at relationships and gets bored kind of easily. Yet he still texts me every few days and already is saying that he wants to take me out for my birthday (a month away), but I feel like he keeps trying to invite me over to his place anytime we want to get together (either for drinks on his rooftop, or last time he said for a movie etc, and I think its just code for sex...) He seems like an honest guy and is very up front with things. He also said that I'm his first real date since he and his ex broke up a year ago, but I'm assuming he slept with other girls before then. When he does text me, he asks how my day is going, things about my life, etc. But I just cant tell if he's just looking for sex or something more serious. I'm not looking for a casual hook up...but what are your opinions? It's not too soon to find out whether the two of you are on the same page in terms of overall dating goals at least. Explain that you are looking for a long-term relationship for yourself and find out what it is he is looking for. If he says casual, then you extricate yourself from the dating scenario simply because you aren't looking for the same thing overall. If you don't want to go to his home yet, simply suggest another place. If he keeps insisting on that, then tell him you aren't comfortable doing that yet. If he accommodates the desire to keep dates public, it's a good thing and continue to observe how he dates you. And, even if he says he's dating for a relationship, let him demonstrate that that's really the case.
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