PJ3040 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I dont usually do these kinds of things but I thought it might somewhat help if I at least write about it or tell someone. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little over three and a half years. We began going out in highschool and I am now in my second year of college and she is now in her first. This was my first and really my only girlfriend. She was a bit on the nerdy side but I still think shes the most beautiful girl. She doesn't go out much or party, she doesn't really like drinking or any of that stuff. Shes really smart and caring. Anyways, The first two years we went out, it was great. It was probably the happiest time of my life and I felt like I would never really love someone as much as I loved her. We spent almost every single day with each other. It was about the end of the second year things began to get shaky. We did argue a lot about me being with friends once in a while and they would sometimes get into heated arguments but we would get over it. This was about the time I was going into my first year of college. The school I go to is kind of a pseudo-militaristic school. Anyways, My school is really close to where we live so she was still able to come and see me a lot. But around April of this year, closing my first year of college, our school required us to go onto a training cruise for two months, where it would be very difficult for us to even talk. The night I boarded the ship to leave, I remember we stood at the gangway of the ship and we held each other for at least 10 minutes. I didn't want to let her go. But eventually I did. So while I was gone, I would email her here and there when I was able to. During this time, her senior year was ending and I guess she began to get more involved and started hanging out with different people. So time went on and about midway through the cruise, she began to email me about how things are feeling different and that she doesn't know if we should really be together. Then all of a sudden, she just stops replying to my emails and calls. There would be a few times where she would answer but she would answer to say that she doesnt think we should talk and all that. So that last month on the ship, I became the most depressed I have ever been. I couldn't sleep, I began to lose my appetite, I couldn't focus on anything, I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I was literally just always looking down. People began to notice because I am usually the happy and energetic person around everyone. I didn't really have anyone to talk to about it on the ship because for the most part, everyone on the ship were guys who didn't really like talking about that kind of stuff. But there was this one girl who Im really good friends with, whom I ended up telling near the end of the trip because I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Anyways, so my trip ended and I finally get back home. I was able to call her and she agreed on seeing me. We finally see each other and spend the day together talking about what happened. Throughout the day, she acts like it never really happened and shes nice to me, unlike how she was through the emails while I was gone. So we end the day and we were suppose to just stay separated, however as I hugged her goodbye, we kissed again. Later on through that week, we realized that we still wanted to be together and I was happy again. The thing is, as time went on in the three months since I got back from my trip, I noticed she was acting differently. She would be going out more but she would want to go to parties and get drunk which I was fine with until she started kind of becoming annoying about it. She also didn't like she was in love with me as much as she was before I left. So things began to get really shaky. We kept trying to work things out but it really just wasn't working. She was saying I love you way less then she used to, she kissed me less, and she began to use her phone way more when she was with me. Now, maybe two weeks ago, her first two weeks of college began and it just became hard. although her college is maybe 40 minutes away from mine, we rarely see each other. Then she just didn't really want to talk to me much anymore. She said that she felt as if we were a married couple. Then we began talking about breaking up again. So my depression from cruise began coming back. A few days ago, we decided to break up. However, I spent the night at her house two nights ago just to be with her "one last time". We laid with each other, kissed, and looked into eachother eyes as if it was the beginning of our relationship again. Its cheesy but while she was sleeping in my arms, I was never more comfortable and felt like I didn't belong anywhere else. She slept that night and I stayed up all night. I fought the urge to sleep because I wanted to be with her every last minute I could. Morning came and I had to go. Before we left, we discussed the possibility of remaining friends. We considered seeing each other today and yesterday but it never happened. We talked again today and we decided that being friends just wont work. I guess she now just wants to cut each other out of eachother's lives completely so we can move on. So now that thats happening, I just don't know how to handle it. I have maybe 3 friends who are talking to me and trying to get me through this but i still feel more lonely than ever. It's hard for me to even think about her just not existing in my life anymore. I still love her so much but its just not going to work. I have this box of everything that she ever gave to me, such as cards, photo booth pictures, all the way to the ticket from the night I asked her to be my girlfriend. Im slowly starting to collect everything in my room, put it back in the box and stow the box away until I move on but its just so difficult for me to move on. Because Im in a school with very few girl, I feel like I won't ever meet anyone, especially one that loved me like she did. And I know it might've sounded like she was a bit of the bad guy, but when we were going out, she loved me more than anything. She was the best girlfriend and she was always there for me. So yeah, I dont know how to really handle this and move on. Sorry for being kind of a wuss about this. Its just kind of how I am.
katiegrl Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I dont usually do these kinds of things but I thought it might somewhat help if I at least write about it or tell someone. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little over three and a half years. We began going out in highschool and I am now in my second year of college and she is now in her first. This was my first and really my only girlfriend. She was a bit on the nerdy side but I still think shes the most beautiful girl. She doesn't go out much or party, she doesn't really like drinking or any of that stuff. Shes really smart and caring. Anyways, The first two years we went out, it was great. It was probably the happiest time of my life and I felt like I would never really love someone as much as I loved her. We spent almost every single day with each other. It was about the end of the second year things began to get shaky. We did argue a lot about me being with friends once in a while and they would sometimes get into heated arguments but we would get over it. This was about the time I was going into my first year of college. The school I go to is kind of a pseudo-militaristic school. Anyways, My school is really close to where we live so she was still able to come and see me a lot. But around April of this year, closing my first year of college, our school required us to go onto a training cruise for two months, where it would be very difficult for us to even talk. The night I boarded the ship to leave, I remember we stood at the gangway of the ship and we held each other for at least 10 minutes. I didn't want to let her go. But eventually I did. So while I was gone, I would email her here and there when I was able to. During this time, her senior year was ending and I guess she began to get more involved and started hanging out with different people. So time went on and about midway through the cruise, she began to email me about how things are feeling different and that she doesn't know if we should really be together. Then all of a sudden, she just stops replying to my emails and calls. There would be a few times where she would answer but she would answer to say that she doesnt think we should talk and all that. So that last month on the ship, I became the most depressed I have ever been. I couldn't sleep, I began to lose my appetite, I couldn't focus on anything, I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I was literally just always looking down. People began to notice because I am usually the happy and energetic person around everyone. I didn't really have anyone to talk to about it on the ship because for the most part, everyone on the ship were guys who didn't really like talking about that kind of stuff. But there was this one girl who Im really good friends with, whom I ended up telling near the end of the trip because I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Anyways, so my trip ended and I finally get back home. I was able to call her and she agreed on seeing me. We finally see each other and spend the day together talking about what happened. Throughout the day, she acts like it never really happened and shes nice to me, unlike how she was through the emails while I was gone. So we end the day and we were suppose to just stay separated, however as I hugged her goodbye, we kissed again. Later on through that week, we realized that we still wanted to be together and I was happy again. The thing is, as time went on in the three months since I got back from my trip, I noticed she was acting differently. She would be going out more but she would want to go to parties and get drunk which I was fine with until she started kind of becoming annoying about it. She also didn't like she was in love with me as much as she was before I left. So things began to get really shaky. We kept trying to work things out but it really just wasn't working. She was saying I love you way less then she used to, she kissed me less, and she began to use her phone way more when she was with me. Now, maybe two weeks ago, her first two weeks of college began and it just became hard. although her college is maybe 40 minutes away from mine, we rarely see each other. Then she just didn't really want to talk to me much anymore. She said that she felt as if we were a married couple. Then we began talking about breaking up again. So my depression from cruise began coming back. A few days ago, we decided to break up. However, I spent the night at her house two nights ago just to be with her "one last time". We laid with each other, kissed, and looked into eachother eyes as if it was the beginning of our relationship again. Its cheesy but while she was sleeping in my arms, I was never more comfortable and felt like I didn't belong anywhere else. She slept that night and I stayed up all night. I fought the urge to sleep because I wanted to be with her every last minute I could. Morning came and I had to go. Before we left, we discussed the possibility of remaining friends. We considered seeing each other today and yesterday but it never happened. We talked again today and we decided that being friends just wont work. I guess she now just wants to cut each other out of eachother's lives completely so we can move on. So now that thats happening, I just don't know how to handle it. I have maybe 3 friends who are talking to me and trying to get me through this but i still feel more lonely than ever. It's hard for me to even think about her just not existing in my life anymore. I still love her so much but its just not going to work. I have this box of everything that she ever gave to me, such as cards, photo booth pictures, all the way to the ticket from the night I asked her to be my girlfriend. Im slowly starting to collect everything in my room, put it back in the box and stow the box away until I move on but its just so difficult for me to move on. Because Im in a school with very few girl, I feel like I won't ever meet anyone, especially one that loved me like she did. And I know it might've sounded like she was a bit of the bad guy, but when we were going out, she loved me more than anything. She was the best girlfriend and she was always there for me. So yeah, I dont know how to really handle this and move on. Sorry for being kind of a wuss about this. Its just kind of how I am. PJ, I am so sorry. hugs I am out right now and don't have time to respond properly, but if you move this to the dating section or break up section, you will get more responses. Hang in there, we have all been there and somehow survived, and came out stronger. Good luck....
Gloria25 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 IMO, you're investing too much in a "high school" thing... Look, you both are young, have growing up to do. High school and college, IMO, is not meant to be locking down the only person you'll ever date cuz quite frankly, neither you nor her nor anyone is mature and/or experienced/knowledgable enough to know what they need/want in a mate and/or require for spouse/parent material. Date, don't sleep around...take this time to meet different women, learn how to interact/relate to them and one day, once you got your college and started career under your belt - you'll be in a better place to actually KNOW what love is and to pick a partner for life. I understand how some military peeps want an "anchor" (someone at home they can lean on), and that drives them to marry, have kids, and/or enter unhealthy RLs with the last thing that is spouse/parent material. Then, the guys can't concentrate on the mission and/or she's sleeping around as soon as he's gone. Seen that over and over again that it makes me sick So, IMO, let this one go, concentrate on you/your development and don't date so seriously.
mystikmind2005 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 In 10 years time when she finds herself a single mom with two young kids creaming in her ear, she is going to be wondering why the hell she cannot find a guy like YOU!
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