GilesB Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 So I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months. Everything has been amazing up till now. We meet up 2-3 times a week even though we live an hour from each other and we both work full-time Monday-Friday. He has met all my friends and I have met a couple of his and he has also told his family about me. When we are together everything is lovely. He loves holding my hand, cuddling and kissing me in public. We haven't had sex yet but he said he wants me to wait until I'm ready which I respect big time. The one thing I'm struggling with at the moment is he has been on holiday in France for 5 days with family and friends and he hasn't contacted me once. He said he would send me photos of him in France but he hasn't. The last time we texted was 5 days ago and before then we used to text every day so that's why I'm anxious. I haven't texted him since we last texted which was just normal chit chat because I didn't want to bother him. He invited me to go to France with him but I couldn't take the time of work and I wasn't too sure about meeting his family so early on but he doesn't know that I think that. Should I be worrying? He gets back late hours tonight.
Ami1uwant Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 There is nothing to worry about just because pics weren't sent. Depending on where he has been he may not have the wifi access to sent any sort of pics or messages. 1
Author GilesB Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 Well he got back late last night but I haven't heard from him. I know he would have been travelling all day and he has work today so I didn't want to bother him. If I don't hear anything by tonight should I send him a text/call him asking how his holiday was? I know men and women are different but I would have texted him if I was in his situation to say I was back.
Mrin Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Two thoughts: 1. The fact that he didn't get in contact when he was on holiday is NOT a reason to worry. 2. The fact that he hasn't been in contact since returning IS a really to worry. One possibly benevolent explanation is that he's worried you lost interest in him or maybe found someone else when he was gone. Has he shown any bouts of low confidence before? I'd give him one more night at home and then contact him if he doesn't contact you first. Even a welcome back text is okay. 1
madjac74 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 It seems weird in that it isnt hard to send a quick text especially in 5 days. I don't care how busy you are! Even though the relationship is very very new, he did invite you on the trip which would suggest he isn't hiding anything. Either he is mad you did not go with him or possibly an emergency happened. I would text or call him to see how things are going.
Author GilesB Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 I know but I didn't want to bother him. My family have been having some problems so I've been really emotional the past few days so didn't want to rub it off on him and scare him off. I really wanted to tell him but I didn't want to ruin his holiday. I'm really worried I screwed things up with him because things were fine before he went and he is the nicest guy. I think part of me thought he had lost interest in me which is why I'm feeling so low.
kassy Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Just text "welcome back!! How was the trip? Can't wait to hear all about it " Or something equally as excited he is back... And see what he does from there. Don't overthink it!
Empyrea Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 You two are in a relationship, not just dating. You shouldn't be over analysing frequency of texts or underlying meanings and such. You should assume that everything is fine, he was enjoying his trip (with his family! not a bunch of bachelors), probably didn't have wifi at all times, and only just arrived back and didn't want to wake you with a text. If he doesn't contact you today, then YOU should. Be excited, ask about his trip, and tell him about what happened in your life while he was away. That's how relationships work. If something has changed or he's feelings are fading, then you will find out anyway. But there's no reason to panic at this point.
lxAlexandria Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 From my perspective, I don't believe you have anything to necessarily worry about. If everything was fine before he left for the trip, I'm sure that wouldn't suddenly change over the course of a simple vacation. I understand your worry though and I see why it would be tugging at your nerves that he hasn't texted you. But, as others have said, perhaps he hadn't had service in order to text you throughout the course of the days there. Plus, you have to think; going on vacation means constantly doing things, day in and day out (especially when its with family). And I'm sure he's jet lagged, tired and drained especially coming in from a trip over night. So, as others have said; try messaging him something simple, asking him how everything went and if he enjoyed his time. Hopefully all is well.
Author GilesB Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 Well I texted him asking how France was and he replied straight away saying it was great but he is so tired and he has to work today. I replied saying I'm glad he had a good time. I guess everything is fine. Do you think I should bring it up that I didn't like no contact or shall I just leave it? This was the first time it's happened so I don't know if it will happen again.. 1
lana-banana Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I think your best bet at this point is to watch and wait. I can understand not contacting you while on vacation, but it does seem odd that he wouldn't even send you a "home safe, can't wait to see you"-type message upon returning. If his most recent message to you didn't include any kind of sweet sentiment or suggestion about meeting up soon, I would read it as a bad sign. 4
strawberryshortstack Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Two thoughts: 1. The fact that he didn't get in contact when he was on holiday is NOT a reason to worry. 2. The fact that he hasn't been in contact since returning IS a really to worry. One possibly benevolent explanation is that he's worried you lost interest in him or maybe found someone else when he was gone. Has he shown any bouts of low confidence before? I'd give him one more night at home and then contact him if he doesn't contact you first. Even a welcome back text is okay. I'm not sure I agree with your #2 statement. I don't do a lot of traveling, but when I do, it exhausts me. I end up getting home and just wanting to crawl into bed. Also, there are always things that need to be taken care of once returning. OP, I'd give him a day or two to get back into his normal routine before worrying.
strawberryshortstack Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Well I texted him asking how France was and he replied straight away saying it was great but he is so tired and he has to work today. I replied saying I'm glad he had a good time. I guess everything is fine. Do you think I should bring it up that I didn't like no contact or shall I just leave it? This was the first time it's happened so I don't know if it will happen again.. I'd just leave it for now.
Gary S Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Hmmmmmmmm.......this is a tricky one. It's at a point in dating where he probably either realizes he's in love with you, or realizes he's not in love. But I will say that many guys are relists and don't really like text and phone too much, they prefer face-to-face contact, on dates. So, just because he did not initiate contact when away really tells you nothing. I guess you'll find out in the near future. Maybe you should multi-date/talk to other guys in case he drops you.
kendahke Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I wouldn't worry about it--time can get away from you when you're en vacances. You might want to install whatsapp on your phone (You use wi-fi instead of data to send messages) and use that to communicate--he might have gotten his phone bill and roaming kicked in some how while away... or the wi-fi wasn't working where he was. Give him a day to get over the jet lag before jumping on his head with "where were you!!!!!!!!!"
kendahke Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Do you think I should bring it up that I didn't like no contact or shall I just leave it? This was the first time it's happened so I don't know if it will happen again.. No. Not right now. You should bring it up later in a general conversation about what things are important to you. You'll know when. Like I said, the wi-fi could have been busted where he was and roaming was too cost prohibitive for him to send texts to you; he really could have been busy with his family. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with you as for why he didn't text and it doesn't necessarily mean that he wants out. You two have been seeing each other for 2 months; things are still developing between you two. It's not like it's been 2 years. Now is not the time to come across as the needy, controlling girlfriend who can't be left for a few days without his phone being blown up. UNLESS He was already acting like he could take you or leave you before he left. You say things were progressing nicely when he left, so I'd recommend chilling and letting him get unbusy. If you jump on his head right now, it could backfire on you. 1
xcupid Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Well I texted him asking how France was and he replied straight away saying it was great but he is so tired and he has to work today. I replied saying I'm glad he had a good time. I guess everything is fine. Do you think I should bring it up that I didn't like no contact or shall I just leave it? This was the first time it's happened so I don't know if it will happen again.. Don't bring up the no contact issue. He was on holidays having fun, he might have been thinking of you and wanted to wait until he saw you again. Let sleeping dogs lie and continue with your relationship. 1
Zippy2000 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 When I was dating a girl for 4 months I went to Greece for a holiday with my best friend. I took my phone over on holiday but quickly found out I couldnt get a signal when I arrived and couldnt text her. I think it drive her insane she didnt hear from me. I d say try not to worry as he is on holiday and depending where he is his phone might not connect to the network.
cif Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Not sending you ONE message while away for a week is a very bad sign you weren't on his mind. You shouldn't have sent the text but waited for him to contact you first after returning. All the comments on here about wifi are b.s., this is 2015 there are internet cafes but I'd have a hard time believing the entire hotel didn't have internet or he couldn't get a calling card or hell even send you a postcard. It's been 2 months that's plenty time, doesn't seem he's serious about you.. or he's probably losing interest since you guys haven't had sex yet. I would give it another week, don't initiate contact, and see how you feel about this.
kendahke Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 assuming that dude is in a large city in a hotel, yeah, wi-fi is probably a no brainer.
Gaeta Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Well I texted him asking how France was and he replied straight away saying it was great but he is so tired and he has to work today. I replied saying I'm glad he had a good time. I guess everything is fine. Do you think I should bring it up that I didn't like no contact or shall I just leave it? This was the first time it's happened so I don't know if it will happen again.. Leave it alone. I am myself coming back from a trip and while I was gone I kept in touch with NO ONE. I was with 25 family members and too busy with catching up with them to even remember where my phone was. I knew everything I left behind when I left would be there waiting for me upon my return. The day I came back I was too tired to get into a text or phone chit chat. I didn't contact anyone.
cif Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Leave it alone. I am myself coming back from a trip and while I was gone I kept in touch with NO ONE. I was with 25 family members and too busy with catching up with them to even remember where my phone was. I knew everything I left behind when I left would be there waiting for me upon my return. The day I came back I was too tired to get into a text or phone chit chat. I didn't contact anyone. Not contacting *anyone* is very different than not contacting your SO.
Gaeta Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Not contacting *anyone* is very different than not contacting your SO. I would not call my SO someone I have been seeing for 2 months and not being intimate with. I've had boyfriends and husbands going on trips and they don't really keep in touch. They're out there doing their thing, everything around is new, they're busy with what ever, they live in the moment. 1
joseb Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Not contacting *anyone* is very different than not contacting your SO. No it's not. Why does someone you are dating for a few weeks somehow get higher priority than the woman who gave birth to you, your siblings, your friends for multiple years? Some women have these unrealistic notions that if they are in any kind of relationship than that person needs to make them the centre of their universe. 2
cif Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 You're not seriously comparing parents and friends to a husband? Maybe I have very high standards, but I wouldn't expect to be ignored by my SO for a week. Not even a text? Sorry not buying it.
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