Miss Peach Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I agree with the previous poster who commented men are just as confusing. I spent months flirting with this guy. He has commented that he's not dating anyone but also said he doesn't have a lot of friends since moving to my city. I still have no idea to this day if this guy was interested in me or how to interpret that. 1
Erised Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I feel like it's pretty obvious. I miss guys flirting with me all the time... It really has to be explicit. When I really liked this guy, I tried to give every sign I could imagine. He didn't make a move. I finally just kissed him. Come to find, he actually had a thing for me before we even officially met. Still missed the flirting. He appreciated my making the move, even though it's not my norm. I won't miss the flirting if in really into a guy already, at least. Flirting will include light unnecessary touching, laughing at more, more looking at you, smiling a lot...
shet Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 It depends on the woman. You can believe you have a decent radar, you think you'll notice them playing with their hair, maintaining eye contact, laughing at your lameass jokes etc. Then you meet someone who doesn't do that stuff but expects you to know that her shyness or standoffishness was her way of flirting. Or that when she said she was going home to eat ramen, that was her way of trying to get you to take her to a good dinner. Or her regular references to her cat, or her wall hanging, or her novel, or all 3, was supposed to make you ask to go round and see it. Then if you wrap your head around that, next time it'll be someone who'll invite you round, and go to dinner, and have you plait her hair, and dance and so forth, and for her this is all just friendly and she doesn't understand how you take it any other way and she's like this with all her male friends (so she says). And then again, you'll meet the woman who'll stick to you like glue, take you home, suck your dick in the cab on the way, ride you all night, and then make you leave and never talk to you again, because for her, sex itself is not indicative of a relationship or even any particular desire, just a means to an end.
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Flirting is obvious with some women. Sometimes it is not. I have been on the dating scene for a long time because my past relationships have been long term, or promised to be so, and so I am not a pro at analyzing women's intentions at that stage of the game. I agree about the playing with the hair, its called preening (I believe). It is an attempt to show the neck in hoping for the male to want to move in for the goods.
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I notice women flirt with their eyes too. I work with the general public and encounter all types of people. I do get women coming in and quite often I can see they are obviously interested. I notice some will "undress me with their eyes". I once had a woman (who was also with her friend) actually grab my arm and tell me she was taking me home to cook me a spaghetti dinner, and proceeded to pull me halfway down the aisle too. lol
Author singlelife Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 I think the thing is that women in general are much more alert about body-language. Im going to sound very stereotypical here now but in my experience, women are much more social-interaction oriented and since they care more about what other people think/feel, they also notice smaller signs/changes in convo and body-language. So when a woman flips her hair in a flirting way, she does it because to her it`s a clear sign and she would notice if someone else did it. There have been many instances when I`m out with female and male friends and we girls always notice if someone is flirting with someone or if some "between the lines" things are going on... the guys are usually totally clueless and go "Huh? Really? I would have never noticed that." That's insane. I wish they would let you know they like you.
Wewon Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Let's be real here, the fact that women themselves call it a "signal" should be the first clue. It provides plausible deniability, it becomes a huge umbrella that covers several outcomes: 1) The guy doesn't respond - there was no open rejection, yes, she may feel rejected, but there is no awkward embarrassing moment that the initiater feels in rejection; afterall, it was only a signal. 2) Guy responds, but wasn't her type - "I wasn't giving you signal, I was just being friendly!" 3) She wasn't interested, but wanted to see if she could command a reaction - see #2 Most important 4) If she can declare that her signal is "obvious" then she's done, she can move on and doesn't have to do anything anymore obvious than that. 1
marychapman Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 That's insane. I wish they would let you know they like you. What part exactly? That women aren`t more clear or that men don`t get it?
genwalt Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 If I like the guy (Physically), then I always make sure he knows that I like/attracted to him. That's why, most of us women are obvious when making a move to a guy.. lol
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 If I like the guy (Physically), then I always make sure he knows that I like/attracted to him. That's why, most of us women are obvious when making a move to a guy.. lol But most women do not make the first move on a man
Mystique01 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Most women take rejection even harder than us guys do, so they tend to be very very subtle in demonstrating signs of interest. Even guys who do well with women have trouble picking up on these "hints" so don't feel bad if you don't understand them. I've been told that a smile + eye contact means a woman wants you to talk to her, but I really haven't tested that. It's true! That used to work when I was younger but now...they gotta at least talk to me first. Here is the deal guys, if you find her attractive and she is paying attention to you get her number. If she turns you down, so what? I used to not know when women were flirting but once i decided it didn't matter and just hit on any woman who engaged me in a non boring manner. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! So subtle noone can pick it up. Just give dudes a little more to go by. I feel like if I'm being nice, friendly, liking your jokes/conversation, that shouldbe MORE THAN ENOUGH "green lights" for a man to makea move on me IF HE'S REALLY INTERESTED IN ME. If I'm being open, friendly, and SMILING, and a guy STILL doesn't make a move, then I'm assuming he's either slow, taken, not available, not that interested in me, or gay. Most guys who have been truly interested in me have made a move eventually. In fact the reason why most women don't make overt moves on guys is because the benefits don't usuallly outweigh the risk. Look, if a guy comes up and asks a girl out, even if she is not interested, at the very least she has respect for him because he saw what he wanted and went after it. A lot of times when women go after men, men tend to diminish her value in his eyes. They figure, why does a beautiful woman like her have to go after guys when most women do not have to resort to that? Then, even subconsciously they will start to wonder if something is wrong with her. Trust me, guys have said this! Not only that, but the threshold of what is enough pursuit and too much pursuit is really slim. A man can easily start to get turned off by a woman who comes on TOO strong. Also, many times (9 times out 10) when I ask married couples how they got together, almost always it was the man who initaited or made the first overt move, asked for a date, pursued,etc. Never the other way around! I'm just saying that I personally don't pursue guys anymore, NOT because of a "fear of rejection", but because it just doesn't work! MOST guys know how to go after a girl/woman they are REALLY into. But most women do not make the first move on a man Actually we do! We make the subtle move (a smile, a look, hair toss, you name it), and if the man is interested and confident enough, he will come over and at LEAST say hi. Thousands of years of doing things this way can't be wrong. It's instinctual! If there was something wrong with this method, we wouldnt have over 7 billion people on earth today. IJS
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 [/b] It's true! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! [/b] I feel like if I'm being nice, friendly, liking your jokes/conversation, that shouldbe MORE THAN ENOUGH "green lights" for a man to makea move on me IF HE'S REALLY INTERESTED IN ME. If I'm being open, friendly, and SMILING, and a guy STILL doesn't make a move, then I'm assuming he's either slow, taken, not available, not that interested in me, or gay. Most guys who have been truly interested in me have made a move eventually. In fact the reason why most women don't make overt moves on guys is because the benefits don't usuallly outweigh the risk. Look, if a guy comes up and asks a girl out, even if she is not interested, at the very least she has respect for him because he saw what he wanted and went after it. A lot of times when women go after men, men tend to diminish her value in his eyes. They figure, why does a beautiful woman like her have to go after guys when most women do not have to resort to that? Then, even subconsciously they will start to wonder if something is wrong with her. Trust me, guys have said this! Not only that, but the threshold of what is enough pursuit and too much pursuit is really slim. A man can easily start to get turned off by a woman who comes on TOO strong. Also, many times (9 times out 10) when I ask married couples how they got together, almost always it was the man who initaited or made the first overt move, asked for a date, pursued,etc. Never the other way around! I'm just saying that I personally don't pursue guys anymore, NOT because of a "fear of rejection", but because it just doesn't work! MOST guys know how to go after a girl/woman they are REALLY into. [/b] Actually we do! We make the subtle move (a smile, a look, hair toss, you name it), and if the man is interested and confident enough, he will come over and at LEAST say hi. Thousands of years of doing things this way can't be wrong. It's instinctual! If there was something wrong with this method, we wouldnt have over 7 billion people on earth today. IJS Well either I never get those signals or never notice them, ya well I've always detested the gender role that guys have to approach and initiate, and lately I wonder if something is wrong with my DNA because of that since most people say men are natural hunters and pursuers
Shining One Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I'm just saying that I personally don't pursue guys anymore, NOT because of a "fear of rejection", but because it just doesn't work! MOST guys know how to go after a girl/woman they are REALLY into.What's your sample size? Six women have approached me first, four received positive responses. That alone invalidates the "doesn't work" conclusion.Thousands of years of doing things this way can't be wrong.I can think of a lot of things that have been done for thousands of years that are wrong. Ladies, this is how you show a man you're interested. If he doesn't get the hint, there is no hope for him.
empresario Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Think about those awkward childhood photos where you grinned as to what you thought was the cheesiest, quirkiest smile in the world. Then the picture comes out and you look like a thug posing for a mugshot. Well, flirting is kind of the same way. Sometimes we feel like we're giving a lot of effort when in reality it doesn't come off that way. Then, as adults with more experience, we learn to smile with some teeth to not look like idiots during pictures.
JustGettingBy Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Isn't 'subtlety' supposed to be for when you're trying to fool someone?
genwalt Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Well, at least you got a hint that some of us women do the first move..
Author singlelife Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 How about just openly flirt.
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