smackie9 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Yes.... and when he writes to me - he makes it sound like the feeling is mutual. However then there is no contact!! This is out of the player's handbook. It's the push and pull method. He's love bombing you, then pulls back to keep the attraction intense, so you will be willing to have sex with him again. 1
jen1447 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Soulmates meaning two ppl who were 'destined' for each other, and no one else, by some magical force? No, don't believe that. Soulmates meaning two ppl who are so in tune with each other that it seems to transcend normal possibilities of human interaction? Sure. I agree that ultimately it's a chemical reaction in the brain designed to facilitate mating and propagate genes, by there's a human component to all biology that can't and shouldn't be ignored imo. Meaning that yeah, our brains are pulling these tricks on us in order to make us do stuff that will make us procreate, but it's still us - humanity - and the effects of love, no matter how they come about, aren't false just bc the impetus is biological. 4
Author siriusp Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Look what you have been puttong yourself through for 3 weeks already! Move on. If he takes a total of 5 weeks to contact you again, how can you be able to trust him not to disappear again? You will be on pins and needles all the time if you do see him again. According to what he wrote - his intention is to come and visit. As soon as he returns to his home country he will contact me and let me know when it is possible. Maybe it's all lies? I know you are right - but I am really struggling to control my feelings. I know that I must shake this off.... I am having an internal war: logic and emotion. They are not getting along at the moment!
Author siriusp Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 This is out of the player's handbook. It's the push and pull method. He's love bombing you, then pulls back to keep the attraction intense, so you will be willing to have sex with him again. OH no!!! I had been thinking this as I have seen it before - but I don't want to believe it. I wonder what it would be like - if he we met up and I didn't have sex with him? (although I wonder if I could resist - I think I could given the torture it's caused me lately).
Author siriusp Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Soulmates meaning two ppl who were 'destined' for each other, and no one else, by some magical force? No, don't believe that. Soulmates meaning two ppl who are so in tune with each other that it seems to transcend normal possibilities of human interaction? Sure. I agree that ultimately it's a chemical reaction in the brain designed to facilitate mating and propagate genes, by there's a human component to all biology that can't and shouldn't be ignored imo. Meaning that yeah, our brains are pulling these tricks on us in order to make us do stuff that will make us procreate, but it's still us - humanity - and the effects of love, no matter how they come about, aren't false just bc the impetus is biological. I wonder if I met him again - (don't even know if that will happen).... and didn't have sex and just got to know him better - maybe it would get this feeling out of my system? Maybe I wouldn't like him that much anymore - I don't know. Maybe I am telling lies to myself?
newmoon Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 if soulmates did exist you would never find yours because the worldwide population is too great to even encounter them. it's doubtful that your soulmate is going to be in the local zip code, and be in your age range, and be a single man, and be just the look you wanted, and so on. if a soulmate does exist for every person they would likely be in a different age group, halfway across the world, not look like what you want, and so on. your soulmate is probably a 94-year old farmer living in Tibet ... but you'll never meet that one true soulmate, if they exist. you'll meet someone you like enough to bond with well, and that's enough to touch you on a soul level. he isn't your soulmate, he's someone who you can like more than you liked others before. 3
wb1988 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 A 'soulmate' is the mate you are solely with at the time. I think it should read 'sole-mate'. It means being faithful.... but the 'soul' has nothing to do with it... Finally I read something on LS that I will remember for a very long time. There are no soulmates there are only sole-mates 1
Author siriusp Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 if soulmates did exist you would never find yours because the worldwide population is too great to even encounter them. it's doubtful that your soulmate is going to be in the local zip code, and be in your age range, and be a single man, and be just the look you wanted, and so on. if a soulmate does exist for every person they would likely be in a different age group, halfway across the world, not look like what you want, and so on. your soulmate is probably a 94-year old farmer living in Tibet ... but you'll never meet that one true soulmate, if they exist. you'll meet someone you like enough to bond with well, and that's enough to touch you on a soul level. he isn't your soulmate, he's someone who you can like more than you liked others before. LOL.... that is true and funny and when I apply it to me - it makes me laugh even more. There are many things about this guy that are way out there.... He is from a country with a completely different culture - there is an age gap - he is physically someone I would never look at. We ended up sitting together by mistake and within minutes we connected..... I didn't see his sex, age, nationality or any of these kinds of things. I saw someone that was polite, kind, open, interesting, intelligent, honest, considerate, correct and someone that said things that I thought - nobody else experienced/thought except me! Of course I have no way of knowing if he is all these things. He seemed that way while we were together but it takes a long time to get to know someone.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Their are no soul mates, as in one true person you just click with without effort. Real love is as much a choice as a feeling. We feel attraction, we experience compatability... however we also choose to put with someone, and consider them in what we do. We choose who, when, where we love them and how. The truth is other than meeting someone for whom the feelings are mutual we all have a lot more control of this than we give ourselves credit for. So far as I am concerned. I have never met a soul mate. I've met people I liked for a time, they liked me for a time, however in the end we didn't choose eachother. Oh and please if you are in your 20's don't act like life is over by 30. Odds are, in an age where one can live to be 120 + your going to spend 50-60 years of your life looking at your 20's as being like childhood. Just try to avoid disease, and having kids by people you can't really stand being around unless you're doing it.
Timshel Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Yes, I believe in soul mates. Extremely rare but if you meet one, you know. 2
Popsicle Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I looked up 'soulmate' and found on (the mind unleashed) a description of a soulmate - and that is exactly how I would describe the feeling I have had since my ONS three weeks ago. It is not something that has ever happened to me in my life before. It is so difficult for me to accept he doesn't feel the same. I am curious if anybody else has had this experience? If there is some evidence that 'soulmates' actually exist. I never believed in it - nor did I ever expect to feel like this... (I'm 41)! Would there be an evolutionary reason for having a feeling like this? Surely that is all it really is - a feeling? Just because I feel it doesn't mean it's real? Yes, I do believe in it and also love at first sight. 1
lana-banana Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Soulmates? No way. As others have pointed out, it's a technically ludicrous idea. But I do believe you can have a "love of your life", the one person who strikes something deep in you and always has the power to transform you whether you end up together or not. When I read about childhood sweethearts reuniting in their 70s, or people who kept up relationships seeing each other only once a year, or even just looking at my own grandparents, I think of that term. Love at first sight doesn't seem real to me either. The imagination plays too much of a role in the early stages to be the same as genuine love. 2
casey.lives Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 If you believe in magic.... anything is possible 1
autumnnight Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I think soul mates is an online dating marketing scam that started with religion (Adam and Eve being soul mates according to the Bible). I don't believe that 1 person is meant for you. I think it boils down to chemistry. I think love and attraction is chemically based at its core, and everything else is just a bonus. The more attracted you are to someone, the more likely its because your chemistry is compatible. I love watching romantic comedy movies but they do society a disservice by promoting the myth of soul mates. I don't know what Bible you've been reading, but the soulmate thing isn't in there. I get the desire to blame everything on religion....but this one's not God's fault, sorry.
mystikmind2005 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Soulmates - it sounds like a nice word and a nice concept doesn't it? I have a different word to describe it - 'perverted' Whoever thought up the idea of soulmates was probably wondering the following; 1) how they can possibly intensify the effects of heartbreak? 2) How they can come up with something that can put an idea in someones head that is strong enough to make them turn their back on a loving relationship and chase after someone else. 3) how they can trick people into passing up opportunities that don't live up to this deception That's all i can think of for now, but i'm sure there are plenty more sadistic reasons for the idea of Soul mates And remember this - If God had intended humans to find soul mates, he would have given us lifespans of at least a thousand years or more so we have a little bit of time to actually find them! 1
Gloria25 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I don't believe in "soulmates", "twin flames" or whatever... And, if a guy says he believes in them, he's "next" to me... I don't have time for people with half a brain who believe in stupid stuff like that. 2
Gloria25 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Soulmates? No way. As others have pointed out, it's a technically ludicrous idea. But I do believe you can have a "love of your life", the one person who strikes something deep in you and always has the power to transform you whether you end up together or not. When I read about childhood sweethearts reuniting in their 70s, or people who kept up relationships seeing each other only once a year, or even just looking at my own grandparents, I think of that term. Love at first sight doesn't seem real to me either. The imagination plays too much of a role in the early stages to be the same as genuine love. OH yea, gotta love the "love at first sight" believers... More idiots out there turning the daily into "extraordinary". "Love at first sight" is nothing but hornies, emotions, and "honeymoon" phase you get when you first meet someone How the heck can you "love" someone just by looking at them for the 1st time? Idiots out there, nothing but stupid out there Oh, and the "inseparables" .... Well, geesh, if you two are stuck together like that then goes to show that neither of you have a life and/or have an unhealthy co-dependency going on there. 2
newmoon Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 OH yea, gotta love the "love at first sight" believers... More idiots out there turning the daily into "extraordinary". "Love at first sight" is nothing but hornies, emotions, and "honeymoon" phase you get when you first meet someone How the heck can you "love" someone just by looking at them for the 1st time? Idiots out there, nothing but stupid out there Oh, and the "inseparables" .... Well, geesh, if you two are stuck together like that then goes to show that neither of you have a life and/or have an unhealthy co-dependency going on there. Gloria25.. i think we're soulmates .. i like just about everything you post:love: 3
kilgore Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 OH yea, gotta love the "love at first sight" believers... More idiots out there turning the daily into "extraordinary". "Love at first sight" is nothing but hornies, emotions, and "honeymoon" phase you get when you first meet someone How the heck can you "love" someone just by looking at them for the 1st time? Idiots out there, nothing but stupid out there Oh, and the "inseparables" .... Well, geesh, if you two are stuck together like that then goes to show that neither of you have a life and/or have an unhealthy co-dependency going on there. Don't know if I believe in them or not. But even if you find your soulmate you still have to put in the work to make the relationship work. You could still blow it with your soulmate
kilgore Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Soulmates meaning two ppl who were 'destined' for each other, and no one else, by some magical force? No, don't believe that. Soulmates meaning two ppl who are so in tune with each other that it seems to transcend normal possibilities of human interaction? Sure. I agree that ultimately it's a chemical reaction in the brain designed to facilitate mating and propagate genes, by there's a human component to all biology that can't and shouldn't be ignored imo. Meaning that yeah, our brains are pulling these tricks on us in order to make us do stuff that will make us procreate, but it's still us - humanity - and the effects of love, no matter how they come about, aren't false just bc the impetus is biological. That really makes sense the way you put all of that
Gloria25 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Don't know if I believe in them or not. But even if you find your soulmate you still have to put in the work to make the relationship work. You could still blow it with your soulmate And what if you can't make it work with your "soulmate"?...Then you're destined to a solitary existence until you die? What if you do make it work with your "soulmate" and a car hits them? Ok, since no one else was "meant" for you, time to join monastery. If there was only "one" person meant for another on this planet, the simple logistics of matching them up and/or keeping them together till they die is illogical/irrational. 3
kilgore Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 And what if you can't make it work with your "soulmate"?...Then you're destined to a solitary existence until you die? What if you do make it work with your "soulmate" and a car hits them? Ok, since no one else was "meant" for you, time to join monastery. If there was only "one" person meant for another on this planet, the simple logistics of matching them up and/or keeping them together till they die is illogical/irrational. Couldn't you have more than 1 soulmate?
Grumpybutfun Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I believe in pragmatism....and a dash of romance and extra spicy sex. Soulmates? Soulmates are made by time and integrity, loyalty and honor and humor and compassion and love. Sorry to be a party pooper, Grumps 1
Gloria25 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Couldn't you have more than 1 soulmate? Then don't use the term "soulmates"... Use something like "compatiblemate", "get along with me mate" The term "soulmate" implies that you ONLY have one person meant for you. So, you cannot have more than one soulmate. I believe the term "soulmate" is misused just like "love" is thrown around frivolously.
kilgore Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Then don't use the term "soulmates"... Use something like "compatiblemate", "get along with me mate" The term "soulmate" implies that you ONLY have one person meant for you. So, you cannot have more than one soulmate. I believe the term "soulmate" is misused just like "love" is thrown around frivolously. Maybe it's just something for people to aspire to. A relationship where both people click and elevate one another 1
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