Arun1910 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 When me and my ex split up (due to me shouting at her due to depression I had for 5 days) we were friends with each other for 2 weeks until we argued on the 3rd August where I called her a B**** by mistake (First time ever calling her a bad name). She was okay for a few days, she just told my sister "Its normal for that to happen and I understand he wasn't himself but I thought we had something special". On the 8th August she was livid, kept saying "I won't ever be your friend again, don't talk to me, leave me alone" etc. It was then followed by a "Sorry for being meh, i need a break". On the 10th August she blocked me on Facebook. Said same things "We will never be friends after what I said. We will never get back together. Any last words?". 3 weeks later, unblocks me. 5 days after the unblock I ask her how she is. She says again "Can you leave me alone. I thought you would grow up in this time. I was wrong". However then we talk more and she hot and colds me "Im going to add you back in 2 weeks after your exams. We won't ever get back together. I still care about you. If you do anything stupid think of me because I care. You've given me a headache, bye". After 30 minutes she messages me again "Don't do anything bad". Then I talk to her friend. Her friend tells me she knew about adding me back because my ex's exact words to her were "I'm going to add him back after his exams, because i dont want him to think about anything else than his exams.he needs to do them." Which is confusing as hell! Why tell me she thought I would "Grow up" in the 3 weeks apart but then say to her friend the reason she isnt adding me yet is so my focus doesn't go. If she already thought I "grew up" adding me wouldnt be a problem? Couple that with the fact she said about 6 times she will never be my friend again and is now wanting to get me back on Facebook and is hot & cold is making me think she doesn't know what she wants? She also seems still hurt by what I said which might explain the Hot & Cold behaviour. If I didn't like someone and they called me a c*** for example, I wouldn't care 3 weeks later? I have to say that that was the first time I shouted at her and the first time I called her a bad name in 2 years time. It happened because I wasn't myself, I couldnt control the depression (Also a first time thing for me) and calling her a bad name was due to me being distraught that my depression pushed her away. Part of me at this stage is hoping that she realises that I was really good to her and these weren't regular things at all.
Author Arun1910 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) You both sound very young...... I'm 20, she is 17. She has a history of panic attacks, self harm and depression and before I came along these weren't tamed. I know why you said we sound young. Because an argument shouldn't be the end of everything, being called a B**** shouldnt be the end of everything. But thats where the problem is. I spent 2 years being everything to her that I dont think she took seeing what depression looked like from the outside and it most likely freaked her out. Same with the name calling. She would always say she was useless and I would build her up, tell her she was much more than she thinks and she's not useless at all. Me doing a 180 for the first time in 2 years must have been a massive shock as well. To me it seems like shes realising that these were things she over-reacted too because now she seemingly wants to come back (by the unblock and wanting to add me back), wants to talk to me again (otherwise why do the first), still cares (which she said). I think its also worth mentioning that we didn't argue a lot either or have any massive issues at all :\ Edited September 7, 2015 by Arun1910
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 No, you sound young because your post is all over the place, and frankly, as you're still at school, you have to know, and come to terms with a couple of things: 1: You're not her therapist, counsellor, psychiatrist or doctor. If she has emotional problems, there are professionals to help her with those. You can't 'fix' her, and she sounds very screwed up. 2: This will never be an earth-shattering, long-lasting, "eternal love". She's very immature, and as such, inexperienced, therefore manipulative. If you are suffering from depression (at your young age, I very much doubt it, unless it was diagnosed by a qualified doctor, and you were prescribed suitable medication) you should be looking after yourself, and not be overly concerned with how she's thinking at the moment. You don't 'have depression for 5 days'. You get slightly stressed, and emotionally variable, but don't, please, call it depression. You went through what was likely an adolescent mood (at 20 years of age, trust me, you're still prone to bouts of teenage angst and irrational thinking so don't think too seriously about this situation.) Really, in all honesty, I'd just drop this as being too much drama, walk away, focus on your schooling and just relax. Having a relationship - a meaningful, deep and significant one - is out of the question right now. Free yourself to do your own thing, and focus on yourself. (*Waits for the 'yes, but'... argument*.... )
Author Arun1910 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 No argument from me! Oddly enough, that 3 weeks put things in perspective for me. Her changing her mind constantly just confuses me is all. In those 3 weeks I did work on myself a lot, going to the gym, focusing on my University work, playing guitar. I just wanted opinions on why she was behaving so erratic.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 No argument from me! Oddly enough, that 3 weeks put things in perspective for me. Her changing her mind constantly just confuses me is all. In those 3 weeks I did work on myself a lot, going to the gym, focusing on my University work, playing guitar. I just wanted opinions on why she was behaving so erratic. Because to be honest, I think she's emotionally unstable. I'm not for one instant suggesting she's psycho, but if she has a history, then really, unless she's seriously under some kind of official care, counselling, therapy or what-have-you, you're better off out of this. She is unpredictable. You haven't stated whether she IS taking medication, seeing a psychiatrist, analyst or therapist, so I'm assuming not. In which case, she's a loose cannon.
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