Signs of first time love

[NeleD]

Hey there

 

This may be a bit of a awkward thread for me, and I sincerely hope I have posted it under the right forum title, I apologise upfront if it is not. There is something I like some people's view under if that is ok?

 

First I'm a 28 year old female, who never experienced being in love or falling in love with someone before. I have dealt with a lot of disappointments in my life, bullying and it made me rather live/be on my own type of personality.

 

I am quite shy, but pretty bubbly and hyper/happy once you get to know the real me. I am, yes as most of you think inexperienced with men on any type of lvl, from kissing to holding hands to hugging and definitely being intimate.

 

I never much cared about how my body felt, what I am supposed to feel and for longest thought I was asexual but failed to believe in it because I am quite interested in intimacy.

 

Now a month ago I met someone online, and we hit it off from day one. We are extremely similar with what we think, how we feel and he is the first person ever I could talk to about everything and I do mean everything. I usually keep things to myself... He also felt same way and just saying one word to him made him laugh/smile and he never had someone ever do this too him. Now it happens too me aswell, I usually have a lot of negativity in me but with him it all dissapates, I constantly am smiling and happy.

 

Mind you, might be online, but we live in same country so it wouldn't be a long distance relationship. There are some things I feel when I talk with him I can't explain. For first week I felt big chest pressure and I read it was linked to anxiety of not knowing if he liked me back but he did and for two weeks we were really into one another and had plans on meeting up I couldn't sleep for nights aswell, he always on my mind. When he calls me hun or types me something sweet out of nowhere my stomach would tingle and I would smile so bright.

 

OK the problem atm is that he is going through a lot of stress with family and he just wishes to be friends because he is angry and negative and doesn't want to take anything out on me or hurt me prob, so we don't talk on skype anymore. But he still shows signs of liking me and wanting me near him. Before it happened I recorded his voice by accident as we were talking about a program (open broadcast software) not properly working and when I listend and heard his voice I felt a big spark in my chest and started to cry...i did cry a lot of times because I dunno, i thought I was going to loose him...

 

I dunno what these feelings are...is it me liking him, i saw him on webcam and he is gorgeous, so is his personality I just want to hold it and not let go... I never had someone in my life I cared more about then myself, I never felt this way... But because i never been in love I dunno what I'm expected to feel, I don't doubt my feelings and I know I like him, but is it "like" like?

 

I'm sorry if it's a long post...

Edited September 7, 2015 by NeleD

[carhill]

Sounds like infatuation, which is a normal human response, and the best way to know for sure is to meet up and see if it carries over in person. The word 'love' varies in definition from person to person and time to time so, if 'love' applies here for you, it does.

 

Welcome to LS