confused133 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) Hi I really need everyone's help, I don't know what to do... My ex and I were together for 2 years, he worked away a lot so it put a lot of stress on us as a couple which lead to a lot of arguments, we ended up splitting up about 4 weeks ago, since the split he's been with friends everyday staying at there's going out drinking every weekend while I've been at home trying to deal with the break up, everyday since the split we've text none stop, we've even slept together a few times, since splitting for first 2 week I begged pleaded everything and all I did was stress him out and push him away, now we still text everyday but its a laugh we have, last week I did tell him that that's it its over I needed to move on etc etc but that was because I saw a photo on social media of a girl on his shoulders at a festival and I said I couldn't forgive him although I know he's not done anything as he still loves misses and cares for me, but anyway after I ended it and I couldn't forgive him he more or less begged me saying he's realised what an amazing woman I am, that he's watched all our videos and its made him realise about me etc etc since then I felt bad and we continued messaging but to be honest we've had a laugh we've both really tried, we spoke last night about us or more I did and he just said its confusing our emotions we can't look too much into how we are but jokingly said if I don't stop he's coming to sort me out tomorrow ( as in sex) I'm really confused as to what's going on, I sometimes feel he's only using me and texting etc to help him move on from me but then other times I feel its because he doesn't want to lose me, last night he even said we could be really great friends after I said if we don't work things out we stay friends, obviously I want him back I just wish I could work out what he's doing or wanting, I keep thinking of going no contact but scared with how long we've been split now that I'll just push us further away, he doesn't start the messages every time its mainly me, I know he would never ignore me and I also think he likes that I'm doing the running around really because soon as I ended it last week he was the one upset but that could be more because he thought I'd not forgive him, he actually said he didn't like the feeling that I hated him although I've never said that, he's also said if I'd not pushed him at start we would 100% still be together as I'm his first love, while we was together he was devoted to me but now I feel he's enjoying his single life too much I just wish I knew what to do, I love him so much and I know he does me...please someone tell me what to do... Edited September 7, 2015 by confused133
bluefeather Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 It doesn't sound like a great relationship in the first place. but if both of you really want to keep going, you both have to put more effort into it. right now it seems like you are both in the "we are not good for eachother, but we are both afraid of being without eachother" phase. if it doesn't work out, try not to be scared. easier said than done. if you break up, you need to break up and stop all contact. otherwise, you both stay in a together-but-not area and all it will do is create pain. also I know you are in a frantic mood, but using periods and paragraphs would make things easier to read. maybe my eyes are getting old. 2
Caslina Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Hi, I can feel how you feel because I was in your shoes for a bit. My ex also said he wanted to stay in contact and meet me. For men that means he still wants to bang you but don't want to be in a relationship. My advise is don't sell yourself too short. Don't settle for something less. He is staying in contact with you only because you make him feel good, contacting him and telling him you love him. It's an amazing ego boost for him. You also conveniently gives him sex. I dont think any men will resist that. The fact is, he doesnt love you. A man who loves you will not let you go. He is more in love with himself now and you need to love yourself and not do this to yourself. You're becoming cheap and pathetic. Notice how he turns to you only when you ignore him? That should tell you a lot. In case of my ex I decided to take things on my hand and completely break up with him after I scared him to death (that i will send our sex pictures to his new girl) that he finally left me alone. Sometimes, if you can't move on while there is hope. Just smash it till there is nothing to go back to. It will hurt too but youll heal faster.
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