E-Squared Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 People, and I am speaking on both sexes here, what do you think about dating someone who chooses to abstain from alcohol? I ask because I don't drink at all. I will admit that I have drank before, but it's been years, and I am not counting sips of a margarita that I have had about a year and a half ago. The last time I even had a shot of anything was in January 2011. I just don't feel that alcohol is for me, even though I have received grief from people about my choice not to drink. For instance, I get offered a beer or shots, or even glasses of any sort of drink when I am at a party and I often decline. Now I don't have anything against those who choose not to drink. However, I wonder if those who do drink would ever date someone who chooses not to.
Gloria25 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Look, As long as you don't ruin my evening... I have a friend who doesn't drink - but insists on trying to go to places with me where she knows I'm gonna get my drink on. She just sits there like she's bored out of her fing mind and I get pizzzed off. So, don't ruin my buzz, got it? If you don't ruin my buzz and/or good time - then we're cool. I don't need someone like my mum, when I put a variety of beer in the fridge to ask "Are you gonna drink all of that?" NO, I'm not gonna drink all of that , cuz same way I keep a variety of sodas in the fridge, I keep a variety of beers. So THANK YOU for ruining my desire to drink in my own HOME. THANK YOu!! BTW, I'm enjoying a tall one right now. I deserve it. Tomorrow is a holiday. 2
Gloria25 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I mean, the other day I took out mum for her birthday or something and I had a margarita. Then, I ordered a beer... Then she goes, "OH, you're gonna have that on top of the margarita?" and, while I ignored her and got my drink on, she pissed me off. DON'T ruin my evening, drink-on, and we're cool. Gessh:rolleyes:
Els Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I'd love it! He can always be the designated driver instead of having to take turns... Okay, in all seriousness, I don't care either way, as long as the guy isn't the sort of teetotaler who has a crazy vendetta against alcohol or constantly tries to preach about how 'sinful' it is. But that's really more about the sort of person he is, not so much about the drinking per se. 5
Popsicle Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I don't mind it at all, as long as he lets me drink. My exH didn't drink and it was fine. I don't drink a lot so it was fine. I didn't care that he didn't drink and he didn't care that I drank. 2
Maleficent Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I was a non drinker for a while and it confuses people. 'I just don't want to' isn't an acceptable reason for not drinking, apparently. Even today, it's more easily accepted that I don't drink because I say I realized it affected my performance in training (which is true) than when I used to say I didn't drink by choice. I have been dumped once with the excuse 'I'd like to have a girlfriend I can get drunk with'
Maleficent Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I'd love it! He can always be the designated driver instead of having to take turns... Having been in that situation, it kind of sucks when everyone assumes you'll taxi everyone around all the time. Once the guy I was dating and I were going to a party and I ended up driving his roommate to and from a separate party he was going to.
Els Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Having been in that situation, it kind of sucks when everyone assumes you'll taxi everyone around all the time. Once the guy I was dating and I were going to a party and I ended up driving his roommate to and from a separate party he was going to. Like I said, that comment was mostly tongue in cheek. And even if true, it doesn't have to be just you taxiing him all the time - you can take turns where he drives both of you to the restaurant/bar/party and you drive both of you home.
veggirl Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 My bf was 100% sober when we met. I was taken aback at first, not gonna lie, but I was smitten with him and went with it. It wasn't an issue because HE didn't make it one. He didn't act weird if I drank etc so it was fine.
Maleficent Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Like I said, that comment was mostly tongue in cheek. I was just adding in my point of view on the subject. People used to say that tongue in cheek about me all the time too....
Got it Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 My ex, and we started in high school, didn't drink the whole time we were together and it was fine. We didn't have alcohol at our wedding out of respect for him. I didn't care and and just asked of him if he did ever want to drink I wanted to be there to see him intoxicated. He did start drinking after our divorce so have only heard stories and not seen him in action. He does enjoy a beer now. Either way I really don't care. Since I am a vegetarian I understand being a bit different.
lana-banana Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I couldn't do it, not because I'm big on social drinking or anything, but I love food and drink the way a die-hard season ticket holder loves his team. My partner has to be able to appreciate and share a fine wine, cocktail or scotch; it's part of why my current boyfriend and I hit it off. That said, I have no problems with non-drinkers. While it's not for me, it's a perfectly valid decision I love fixing lemonades and cocoas and teas with my homemade syrups and infusions just as much as cocktails! 1
writergal Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I don't see anything wrong with dating someone who doesn't drink. If they live in a country like England or Ireland where drinking is part of the social culture, then yeah you'll have a hard time finding a teetotaler to date, because everyone's always down at the pub socializing. But if you live in the U.S., where drinking isn't at the center of how people socialize, you'll have an easier time finding someone who doesn't drink. Not all people who drink are fun, just as not all teetotalers are boring. 1
sportygirl89 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I dated two who didn't drink. Both I felt like were judging me. One was like a glass with dinner. I felt like I could not have a drink if I was out with there friends who could not drink. If you make me feel guilty I'll hate it. I deal with a difficult medical program so part of it helps me relieve some steam at the end of the week.
TunaCat Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I don't drink at all for two major reasons. One: I can't drink with the medications I'm on. Two: I just don't like the taste of alcohol. As long as the person I'm with knows their limits with alcohol and doesn't try to pressure me into drinking, I don't care if they drink. 1
BikerAccnt Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) Doesn't bother me at all, but I'm a non-drinker also. You'd be surprised at the number of non drinker's there are. I read a statistic only recently from the CDC (why they track this I have no idea) that nearly 45% of people in the US drink no alcohol at all. Never So it's really not all as common as you think. Back when I was drinking, I could never imagine not dating a drinker, now, I'd prefer not to. Not because it bothers me, but as someone else said, it seems to bother drinkers that I don't. Luckily, my GF doesn't drink either. And it's not stopped either of us from having a great time. AND, I can remember them! Oh, and I hate the term teetotaler.. I hate tea! Edited September 8, 2015 by BikerAccnt 3
Oregon_Dude Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I don't drink. While I've been nervous to bring it up during dates, I find that most women find it kind of interesting. I also couldn't give a crap if someone else drinks, and encourage them not to let me stop them. In my last r/s, she drank a bit, I didn't. No problem. It was nice never being drunk or hungover around her. 1
autumnnight Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I have to say the whole premise is...odd to me. I can understand being concerned if someone drinks too much or uses drugs, etc. But being concerned because someone DOESN'T drink. That to me would be a red flag, that alcohol would be so important to them that me not drinking would be an issue.
JustGettingBy Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 As long as they didn't stop me from drinking, I'd be okay.
shet Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I've had some funny looks for explaining I don't drink. I know it solidly put at least one woman I dated off, because she was frankly an alcoholic. This is in the UK, where everyone drinks. Also: in my experience, people like some in this thread saying "as long as they don't stop me drinking" are really saying, "I get drunk often and if they even mention it negatively or look at me wrong about it, they can **** off". 2
Tayla Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I do not impose my choices on others. If someone wants to get $hit faced drunk, they are welcome to do so. My choice is to quietly excuse myself from their presence and leave the arena. I choose not to drink and prefer to keep it that way. Most anyone that knows me knows that I will decline alcohol, so its not a big deal. Respect my sobriety and I'll gladly respect your choice in how you handle your choice of beverage. 2
Anderlie Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 My husband isn't much of a drinker whereas I quite enjoy it. He lets me do my thing and he does his thing. I'm never a dribbling fool and he's not a judgey mcjudgeypants so it works. Attitude is probably the big decider really. 2
salparadise Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I'm similar to lana-banana. Food and drink have been something of a focus in some of my better relationships. I love the way the inhibitions fade and the conversation gets better as level in the wine bottle goes down. And food and wine just go hand-in-hand. It would almost be a waste to grill a perfect ribeye and not have a nice bottle of cabernet to go with it. So I lean heavily toward women who express a love for food, and drink socially... because food, wine and music create an atmosphere that feels just right. It would seem like something's missing otherwise (for dates or occasions). If one is drinking and the other is not, at least to me, it doesn't feel like synchronicity. I'm not interested in drinking alone. My parents were teetotalers - never saw either one of them take a drink. I grew up with the alcohol is evil mentality.
autumnnight Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 judgey mcjudgeypants I am stealing this name....and a margarita 3
pteromom Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I don't drink, and prefer being around other people who don't drink (or who only drink with a meal and have no desire to get drunk.) The right woman will just accept you for who you are. 1
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