therealbliss Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Hi All! I am new to LS - hopefully you guys can help me piece this situation together. I joined a dating app, and met a really good looking guy! We begin talking he mentions how he just got out of a long term relationship. I guess the dating app also tells you where you work and so come to find out his ex works for the same company as mine. My company is quite large so that's why its so easy to not have known. His is ex and I are not friends - I never see her however, she does know who I am and vice versa - company has about 2000+ employees. So after him finding that out he mentions how hes not ready to date right now and when he does become ready it can't be with someone that works at the same company as his ex. I told him he shouldn't judge someone based on his work haha he agreed - and so I thought he let it go. So we are making plans to hang out and I mention to him how we should go on a friend date - he asks if I think its a good idea and basically repeats what he's looking for right now and my company rule. I told him I am completely down to hang as just friends. So, him and I meet on Friday - and the friend date ( we called it a friend date, date ) almost became a joke. For the most part we were just being friendly and nothing more. However, I felt super comfortable with him and he said that he felt the same way - we both said it felt like we've known each other for a while. So, I begin to notice that we are bar hopping quite a bit - he was paying for my drinks so I mentioned how we should go somewhere mellow so that he wouldn't have to keep spending money. We decide to go back to his apt. pool and drink wine. I am not sure how the rest happened but I remember I put my hand around his arm and he grabbed my hand - from then on we were cuddling on the couch watching netflixs and talking and we did end up kissing - he lean in for the kiss. I told him I could go home but he wanted me to stay so I did - no we didn't have sex. Next morning we are still cuddling, and then we get breakfast/ he drives me home. Then he texts me late in the afternoon - and y'all let me know if this sounds like a indicator of interest or anything. him: hey just got done - I apologize for dropping you off in a bit of a hurry this morning. I get a little anxious when I have a lot of things I need to do and wanted to get my place cleaned up and in order before my appointments today - didn't happen I tell him no big deal we have small chatting going back and forth - I left my watch at his place so I guess I'll have to see him again. However, how should I tread with this one? I texted him hey hope you have a lovely Sunday - he hasn't responded so I dunno. Looking forward to feedback
Gloria25 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 You just texted him...give him time to respond. IMO, you're pushing a bit too hard here...He's been clear about not being ready to date, and the problem with dating co-workers. I mean, IMO, you pushing it is like he's dating you w/o intercourse (yet). I mean, if you keep on involving alcohol and/or going up to his place, at some point sex is gonna happen. "Friendship" should happen naturally - not cuz someone is "forcing it". You texting him about his Sunday, again, is a bit much for someone who is just a "friend". I recommend stepping back and being a real "friend". While the friendzone can get tricky, most good RLs start out as friendships. I don't think fear of the friendzone is an issue here - because from your make-out session and the circumstances you two openly discussed (his availability, dating co-workers) you two are clear of your interest (romantic or not) and resolved on "how" to handle it instead of two people who don't know each other and cuz of how one and/or both is acting someone gets friendzoned.
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