Finding love after 30

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Wow. 31 and you feel that way? I'm in my late 40s, divorced for over 15 years with no kids and I don't feel that my time has passed. Am I as attractive as a 25 year old? Nope. Do I bring a whole lot more in the long run to the table. Oh, yeah.

 

My friends are all drama free. I have a lot more disposable income now. I can travel, enjoy expensive hobbies if I desire, go months barely looking at my bank account. I'm a better cook, I'm a better time manager. While I may come on here to complain about different issues, I honestly don't sweat the small stuff.

 

I had a friend who was very single until she was 41. She had more baggage than samsonite and more issues than Time magazine. She had always liked Star Trek and Renassance Fairs and dressing up at Halloween. That was fun for her. She went to a meeting of the local Rennassance group and got involved with committees and planning their big yearly bash. She met the man of her dreams and now they go to lots of different conventions and win prizes with their costumes and such. They are annoyingly happy ten years later. And married.

 

What hobbies or causes interest you? Is it possible to meet men participating in these types of hobbies? Is there anything you'd like to learn more about? It doesn't matter if everyone else thinks it's a little dorky, if you like it, then go for it.

 

I don't think you have to dive head first into your local sports scene to find a man, but whatever activity interests you, it is probably going to help if men might be interested in it as well. Your success rate probably decreases if you are looking at taking a crochet class or learning to decorate a cake.

 

I was also around when women started divorcing their husband in droves after the kids were grown, happy and healthy. The women had put up with whatever crap for a lot of years. I'm not exaggerating, I know at least 20 women (and men) who found real love after 50. Sadly, a huge number of them are now gone, but they always said words to the effect that the last 20 years of their life were the best years of their entire lives.

Very single until 41? Define very single

[Leigh 87]

What i dont get is that your thoughts are all over the shop Leigh, you are claiming that it is so hopeless and that they're all leftovers or divorced with some issues. Now back peddling with optimism. Then you talk yourself up and then bash yourself. Ugh, I cant keep up. And you're not even 30 yet.

 

I said it is hard to find the immediate and natural chemistry and compatability combination. THAT is totally rare and most won't get that. But that's ok. The vast majority don't need the immediate chemistry or the butterflies. I am an exception.

 

And I was stating that for a girl like me, I don't find that it's hard to find a partner because I believe I am attractive enough to never have to worry about finding " a " decent man. The YOU assumed I was portraying myself as " stunning " so I explained that I know I am not stunning.... But I also know I am pretty enough to never HAVE to remain single for long stretches of time.

 

Finding love is hard if you want certain things. At any age but even make so as your looks fade because you loose the initial look in you get purely based on looks alone.

 

Finding a relationship isn't hard for most.

 

Finding companionate love isn't hard. Thst is the type of love where you meet a new person who shares the same relationship goals as you and, while you both like each other a lot as people, there is never the spark and you're never " madly " in love. Companionate love is not hard for over 30s.... It's just two people who both wsnt a relationship and who grow to love each other without the infatuation phase. It's easy to go on dates and find decent guys who you can grow to love over time yet who you're not at all excited about at first.

 

Finding love aint hard if you're not fussy. But it will be the companionship type of love that girls slowly rather than the love that yields intense romantic feelings and attractions........

 

Finding true love where you both feel that unexplainable and intangible spark and natural romantic chemistry from the start, the type of love where you both " fall hard " for one another as opposed to not being that into someone initially and growing to love them slowly without experiencing the limerence or super isn't filled honeymoon stage where you're not head over heels.

 

When I am around the current guy it's like others around us don't exist. The chemistry is undeniable. We are naturally romantic towards each other it'd effortless. Where as, I could have been in a relationship by now and I would never have had to even BE single, if I was happy to date men purely on the premise that their a nice loyal person with my same core values and relationship orientated.........

 

So true love by my definition..... Very very rare.

 

Growing to love someone and having a meaningful relationship? Not hard.

[Gloria25]

As you mature, you realize more and more what really matters - like structural integrity - and you realize what really doesn't - like surface flash. If you get both and it works out for you, awesome. But as they say, What glitters isn't always gold.

 

If I'm gonna get with a guy just to have "company" then, I'll stay alone and get a pet.

 

For me, fitness (at least someone that can go on a freakin' walk with me), sexual prowess, staying away from drugs (including weed) and having your life together is not much to ask for.

 

I mean, what's the point of having some guy around if he can't go on a walk with you cuz he has back pain and/or is overweight? I'm sure that also affects his ability to have sex.

 

Also, I'm not paying some guy's bills.

 

Again, if I have to bend on these simple things - then again, I can stay alone. If I'm gonna get some bald, overweight guy just so I can have a warm body in the house and/or someone to go out with - I can get a roommate (male or female) and/or go out in meetup groups. Cuz, with a roommate and/or people from a meet-up group you have the same thing that bald overweight and immobile guy can give you - which is a person to hang with w/o having sex.

[kilgore]

If I'm gonna get with a guy just to have "company" then, I'll stay alone and get a pet.

 

For me, fitness (at least someone that can go on a freakin' walk with me), sexual prowess, staying away from drugs (including weed) and having your life together is not much to ask for.

 

I mean, what's the point of having some guy around if he can't go on a walk with you cuz he has back pain and/or is overweight? I'm sure that also affects his ability to have sex.

 

Also, I'm not paying some guy's bills.

 

Again, if I have to bend on these simple things - then again, I can stay alone. If I'm gonna get some bald, overweight guy just so I can have a warm body in the house and/or someone to go out with - I can get a roommate (male or female) and/or go out in meetup groups. Cuz, with a roommate and/or people from a meet-up group you have the same thing that bald overweight and immobile guy can give you - which is a person to hang with w/o having sex.

 

Easy on the bald guys

[Lady2163]

Very single until 41? Define very single

 

I almost missed this. I'm not sure it is important to the original topic, but she described herself as asexual for years. She was a serial monogamist for most of her 20s, where she sometimes lived with her boyfriends and sometimes didn't. Always an apartment, never a house. Never combined finances. So, she had boyfriends, had committed relationships, but never took the financial or marriage leap.

 

Her parents were gone 6-8 months out of the year. After her last relationship ended she moved into her parents house and didn't date at all for five to seven years.

[Gloria25]

Easy on the bald guys

 

Bald and sexy

 

http://www.herworldplus.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/featured_image_640xfull_height/5bald-Jason.jpg

 

Bald and not sexy

 

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/1102/equality-women-men-sexy-beergut-demotivational-posters-1296684999.jpg

 

See the difference...

 

Jason Statham is far from young. He is also short and not really "handsome" guy. But, he's in shape, good looking, and has a personality to go with it. I can do bald, but I can't do bald with a belly and/or who looks like he could pass for someone's father or grandfather.

 

Sad thing is that guys with age, don't put much effort into their looks - but women "have" to. So, another thing that makes dating past your 30's difficult - the variety of guys to choose from

[kilgore]

Bald and sexy

 

http://www.herworldplus.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/featured_image_640xfull_height/5bald-Jason.jpg

 

Bald and not sexy

 

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/1102/equality-women-men-sexy-beergut-demotivational-posters-1296684999.jpg

 

See the difference...

 

Jason Statham is far from young. He is also short and not really "handsome" guy. But, he's in shape, good looking, and has a personality to go with it. I can do bald, but I can't do bald with a belly and/or who looks like he could pass for someone's father or grandfather.

I guess you saved yourself from my wrath. Lol.

[Ruby Slippers]

For me, fitness (at least someone that can go on a freakin' walk with me), sexual prowess, staying away from drugs (including weed) and having your life together is not much to ask for.

 

I mean, what's the point of having some guy around if he can't go on a walk with you cuz he has back pain and/or is overweight? I'm sure that also affects his ability to have sex.

 

Also, I'm not paying some guy's bills.

 

Again, if I have to bend on these simple things - then again, I can stay alone. If I'm gonna get some bald, overweight guy just so I can have a warm body in the house and/or someone to go out with - I can get a roommate (male or female) and/or go out in meetup groups. Cuz, with a roommate and/or people from a meet-up group you have the same thing that bald overweight and immobile guy can give you - which is a person to hang with w/o having sex.

None of this sounds familiar to me regarding dating in my 30s. All the men I've had relationships with have been fit, sexually virile, straight-edge, with stable careers and finances. I always do active things with my man - walks, swimming, tennis, biking, athletic sex. I've never paid a man's bills. My last boyfriend paid for absolutely everything we did together. He even bought me a new computer and other office equipment and furniture, and though I offered to pay him back for everything he spent on me while we were briefly together, he waved it off and said he was happy to help and these were small things, so don't worry about it.

 

I have never gone for "a warm body". In fact, I've passed over hundreds of HOT warm bodies who are all too eager to get in my bed because for me, truly enjoying his company takes a slight edge over enjoying his body. Of course I will also enjoy his body, but it's essential that I also enjoy his mind, soul, and spirit.

 

I find it much harder to find quality of character than quality of looks/body. Hot yet dubious guys looking for playmates are everywhere. But good men are hard to find.

[kilgore]

None of this sounds familiar to me regarding dating in my 30s. All the men I've had relationships with have been fit, sexually virile, straight-edge, with stable careers and finances. I always do active things with my man - walks, swimming, tennis, biking, athletic sex. I've never paid a man's bills. My last boyfriend paid for absolutely everything in our household. He even bought me a new computer and other office equipment and furniture, and though I offered to pay him back for everything he spent on me while we were briefly together, he waved it off and said he was happy to help and these were small things, so don't worry about it.

 

I have never gone for "a warm body". In fact, I've passed over hundreds of HOT warm bodies who are all too eager to get in my bed because for me, truly enjoying his company takes a slight edge over enjoying his body. Of course I will also enjoy his body, but it's essential that I also enjoy his mind, soul, and spirit.

 

I find it much harder to find quality of character than quality of looks/body. Hot yet dubious guys looking for playmates are everywhere. But good men are hard to find.

When I was single I was never much interested in being with someone just for its sake. Of course at the time I had little money and was figuring it my career so I doubt women were taking me too seriously

[Gloria25]

None of this sounds familiar to me regarding dating in my 30s. All the men I've had relationships with have been fit, sexually virile, straight-edge, with stable careers and finances. I always do active things with my man - walks, swimming, tennis, biking, athletic sex. I've never paid a man's bills. My last boyfriend paid for absolutely everything we did together. He even bought me a new computer and other office equipment and furniture, and though I offered to pay him back for everything he spent on me while we were briefly together, he waved it off and said he was happy to help and these were small things, so don't worry about it.

 

I have never gone for "a warm body". In fact, I've passed over hundreds of HOT warm bodies who are all too eager to get in my bed because for me, truly enjoying his company takes a slight edge over enjoying his body. Of course I will also enjoy his body, but it's essential that I also enjoy his mind, soul, and spirit.

 

I find it much harder to find quality of character than quality of looks/body. Hot yet dubious guys looking for playmates are everywhere. But good men are hard to find.

 

Well, what do you mean that with age you start realizing what matters and that while something ain't perfect, it will "just do"?

 

I'm not talking about uber hotties here...I'm thinking you are referring to people like the woman I worked with, who probably decided "company" was better than having a guy who could hike, bike, etc with her cuz the man she married - who was 10 years older than her, looked like he could be her daddy, was bald and overweight and had a hearing aid - was pretty much a "company" and keeping a side of her bed warm cuz I just don't see what else he had to offer.

[kilgore]

Well, what do you mean that with age you start realizing what matters and that while something ain't perfect, it will "just do"?

 

I'm not talking about uber hotties here...I'm thinking you are referring to people like the woman I worked with, who probably decided "company" was better than having a guy who could hike, bike, etc with her cuz the man she married - who was 10 years older than her, looked like he could be her daddy, was bald and overweight and had a hearing aid - was pretty much a "company" and keeping a side of her bed warm cuz I just don't see what else he had to offer.

 

Maybe he's funny?

[Gloria25]

Maybe he's funny?

 

If I want something funny, I can watch Comedy Central and/or the BET channel stand up routines.

 

Oh, and Netflix has great comedy specials.

 

Also, I enjoy listening to comedy radio stations on satellite radio when I have to travel for work and use a rental car and/or listen on the airplane.

 

Why do people feel they have to have a SO to fill a void in their lives? If I need someone to make me laugh, I can do that by myself. If I wanna buy something, I can buy it with the money I make. If I want someone to exercise with, go out with, etc. I can go to meet-ups and/or get friends to do that with.

 

Sex, is something I cannot do by myself. Masturbation fills the void only so much.

Edited September 8, 2015 by Gloria25

[kilgore]

If I want something funny, I can watch Comedy Central and/or the BET channel stand up routines.

 

Oh, and Netflix has great comedy specials.

 

Also, I enjoy listening to comedy radio stations on satellite radio when I have to travel for work and use a rental car and/or listen on the airplane.

 

Why do people feel they have to have a SO to fill a void in their lives? If I need someone to make me laugh, I can do that by myself. If I wanna buy something, I can buy it with the money I make. If I want someone to exercise with, go out with, etc. I can go to meet-ups and/or get friends to do that with.

 

Sex, is something I cannot do by myself. Masturbation fills the void only so much.

 

But funny helps. I'm funny damnit!

 

And don't poo poo masturbation - it's sex with someone you love

[bluefeather]

I'm trying to remember what this thread was supposed to be about...

[Ruby Slippers]

Well, what do you mean that with age you start realizing what matters and that while something ain't perfect, it will "just do"?

I don't believe I said that. My main point is that people find love at all ages, and while all love is wonderful, love between people who are more mature in life experience has its good points.

 

I'm not talking about uber hotties here...I'm thinking you are referring to people like the woman I worked with, who probably decided "company" was better than having a guy who could hike, bike, etc with her cuz the man she married - who was 10 years older than her, looked like he could be her daddy, was bald and overweight and had a hearing aid - was pretty much a "company" and keeping a side of her bed warm cuz I just don't see what else he had to offer.

I'm getting the impression that you think this is about the best men have to offer after 30, 40, 50, or whatever age. I just don't agree, and it's not my experience. I know some amazing men in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and even 70s, men who are strong as iron, cute and fit, smart and extremely hard-working, loyal, devoted, funny.

 

Why do people feel they have to have a SO to fill a void in their lives?

I don't see a romantic partner as filling a void exactly. I'm just much happier when I'm living with my best friend and building a good life together. One person can get a lot done, but two people can accomplish at least twice as much. Humans are not designed to be alone. We're social animals and we are healthy, happier, and longer-lived when we live in at least small packs or tribes. I want a family if it's not too late, and you need a good man for that.

 

Sex, is something I cannot do by myself. Masturbation fills the void only so much.

Sex with someone you love is so far beyond masturbation, there's hardly a comparison. We are social and sexual creatures. Every study shows that people having regular, loving sex are happier, healthier, and all-around more satisfied with life.

 

I've spent about 5 years of my adult life being single and living alone, and while it has its perks and I can take care of myself just fine, I'm far happier with a good man in my life.

 

I get the impression you haven't experienced really good love yet, and if that's true, I'm sorry that's the case. You seem like a very funny, sweet, cool girl, and I would like to see you find a wonderful man to light you up even more and treasure you, as you are surely worthy of being treasured

[kilgore]

I don't believe I said that. My main point is that people find love at all ages, and while all love is wonderful, love between people who are more mature in life experience has its good points.

 

 

I'm getting the impression that you think this is about the best men have to offer after 30, 40, 50, or whatever age. I just don't agree, and it's not my experience. I know some amazing men in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and even 70s, men who are strong as iron, cute and fit, smart and extremely hard-working, loyal, devoted, funny.

 

 

I don't see a romantic partner as filling a void exactly. I'm just much happier when I'm living with my best friend and building a good life together. One person can get a lot done, but two people can accomplish at least twice as much. Humans are not designed to be alone. We're social animals and we are healthy, happier, and longer-lived when we live in at least small packs or tribes. I want a family if it's not too late, and you need a good man for that.

 

 

Sex with someone you love is so far beyond masturbation, there's hardly a comparison. We are social and sexual creatures. Every study shows that people having regular, loving sex are happier, healthier, and all-around more satisfied with life.

 

I've spent about 5 years of my adult life being single and living alone, and while it has its perks and I can take care of myself just fine, I'm far happier with a good man in my life.

 

I get the impression you haven't experienced really good love yet, and if that's true, I'm sorry that's the case. You seem like a very funny, sweet, cool girl, and I would like to see you find a wonderful man to light you up even more and treasure you, as you are surely worthy of being treasured

 

The masturbation line was a joke.

[Ruby Slippers]

The masturbation line was a joke.

It was funny Believe me, I'm getting reacquainted with self-love again. I was kinda spoiled in the sex arena in my last relationship. Good memories that will last for quite a while...

[kilgore]

It was funny Believe me, I'm getting reacquainted with self-love again. I was kinda spoiled in the sex arena in my last relationship. Good memories that will last for quite a while...

 

Even when you're with someone you still need it

[TunaCat]

I'll be 30 in December and I can tell you all now, I will never EVER settle.

 

I don't want kids so at least I don't have to worry about that. The only thing I worry about is meeting someone who has kids and just really hitting it off with them. In that case I'd have to let them go because I don't want kids/stepkids and I know kids are a package deal.

[Ruby Slippers]

Even when you're with someone you still need it

I disagree. I think sex is way better and hotter when you save it all up for your man/woman. You're so much more sensitive. I also believe that when your partner is your only sexual outlet, it brings a certain something to the relationship in general - a certain sense of romance, sweetness, and sensuality.

 

I never ask a man not to masturbate, but I seem to find men who agree with me on this. Like if one of us goes out of town for a few days, we both choose not to masturbate, so then once we've reunited, it's like the bed is on fire. Those kind of lusty reunions where you're just all over each other all night have been some of the most exciting, joyous times of my life. And I have a feeling that the men I have loved might agree

[Oregon_Dude]

I never ask a man not to masturbate, but I seem to find men who agree with me on this. Like if one of us goes out of town for a few days, we both choose not to masturbate, so then once we've reunited, it's like the bed is on fire. Those kind of lusty reunions where you're just all over each other all night have been some of the most exciting, joyous times of my life. And I have a feeling that the men I have loved might agree

My ex and I had a fun game. I would not masturbate until she told me I could. Sometimes she made me hold out for upwards of six days. She could be quite cruel. This was when we were long-distance, which was the whole time save for a few days, before she dumped me.

 

Anyway, I would also tell her when I wanted her to masturbate. I would pick a porn clip, text her the link and we'd both get off to it. Just one of many games we played.

 

Too bad she's lame.. to say the least.

 

Anyway, to the thread at hand. As a 31 year old guy, I don't really believe I'm screwed in the dating department. Ideally I'd like to find a woman just a few years younger/older than me. Any younger than ~27, they're a little too immature for my liking. Any older than 34ish, they're a little too anxious to have a family, which is not something on my radar at all.

 

A few years being single could probably do me good, tbh.

[Toodaloo]

While I haven't I shall tell you about my brother and sister in law.

 

He had a terrible time of it with his ex. We do not know the full story but from the snippets we have she was cruel, selfish and very mean. He was broken. He spent years trying to make it work. Trying to be better. He then spent a year crying.

 

During that year crying he went to visit an old college friend of his. Yup, my sister in law.

 

She was having a terrible time. Her ex was cheating on her and abusing her financially. She was a broken woman.

 

They both picked themselves up.

 

They both went on with their lives.

 

One night while he was visiting they both got completely steaming drunk.

 

After they went to bed (separately) he knocked on the door, asked if she could ever see them together, she said she didn't know. He has a pee and went back to his own bed...

 

They have been together since, have a beautiful daughter and are both very happy.

[katinlc]

Wow this thread turned sad...so here's my story of love after 30.

 

 

I did not date much at all in my 20's. I was doing the whole career / advanced degree thing. I finally decided to put my personal life first when I got in my 30's. Hit the gym - got in shape, gained confidence and started the whole online dating thing. About 9 months into that (and one short 2 1/2 month relationship that didn't end well), I was over it. Work was crazy and I was tired of first dates that didn't go anywhere (I refused to settle).

 

 

I went out on one final date, mainly because I had been talking and putting off the guy for a month due to crazy work...He is now my husband. We met when we were 33 and got married when we were 34. I will admit I did not feel amazing fireworks on our first date, but I now attribute that to the fact that I was so burned out on dating and my work like was killing me. He said he knew on the 2nd date, but it took me about 4 dates to realize there was something different.

 

 

We were both single, never married, decent jobs, good families, similar religious beliefs and very little baggage.

 

 

Why did it take until our 30's? For me because I put other things ahead of dating. For him, he was extremely picky and refused to settle. He wanted someone that shared his beliefs, lifestyle, and he felt that spark with.

[BluEyeL]

Well "what" are people referring to when they talk about "love" past 30's. I mean, are they talking about someone just to grow old with? Are they talking about someone who they are having great sex with?

 

I mean, I was watching Snapped last nite and this loser moved in with her mum, and her mum was like 49 or something and found a guy older than her at a bar one night, started "dating" him...then moved him in and had him tell the loser daughter to move out.

 

Ok, for one, I, am not gonna move in some guy who is older than me into my place. He better have a pretty darn good reason for having to move in with me. I mean, no scrubs.

 

I also worked with a woman in her late 50's who married a guy in his late 60's and it was hard cuz he retired and she still had like a decade to go. She was stressed, missing work, etc. and ended up moving to the state "he" wanted to move to so he could be closer to his family. Also, while in her 50's she was in great shape. She biked, hiked, etc. He literally looked like he could pass for her father, had a hearing aid, had back pain that prevented him from doing stuff, was bald and overweight. Sorry, but I don't need "love" that bad if I'm gonna have to settle for a balding guy who can't get physical with me and expects me to uproot my life to accommodate his. But, then again, younger women do that too - we're always adjusting our lives to satisfy men.

 

So, like others posted here...for those who are finding "love" past 30's - I'm sure there's a lot of "settling" going on out there.

 

First of all, 31 is not 51.

 

So yes, the problem you can run into if you are over 50 is that men are getting older and they will not be in the same shape they once used to be in. Sure, your friend is a bit of an extreme example though, but if you married a man a few years older than you at 22, and grew old with him, he may go bald (balding is a natural process for most men and it's not their fault when it happens), he may develop health issues and so on. Will you just dump him? What if something similar happened to you? An illness, cellulite, skin/boobs/butt sagging (all natural processes).

 

But true love, to me, is not about the superficial, is about really loving the PERSON next to you and seeing them for their soul. When you love someone, you do not care if they are over 6 ft tall or not, if they are bald or not, or if they developed some belly. After all, my capillaries on my legs are breaking and I'm not a super model anymore either. And it shouldn't matter. To me, to be in love, other quality than the lack of hair matter. Incidentally, my current boyfriend has his own hair and is 6ft tall, can walk and bike with me, but that's not why I love him and I dated bald men and short men and everything else, including very conventionally attractive men.

 

I recently found a "wish list" that I wrote in January 2014, at the 'new year resolution" time. I wrote "wish lists" for all areas of my life : relationship, career, health and fitness, finances, parenting and friendships. I remember I wanted to put down everything I would want, although it may seem far fetched. Some happened, so didn't. I met my boyfriend in June 2014. I recently found my list and this is what I wrote:

 

"Qualities of my husband" (I wrote husband because ultimately I do want to get married). In the order I wrote them: loyal, kind, emotionally stable, puts me first, understanding, loving, affectionate, smart, career in STEM (science technology engineering and math-I do not jive with artistic types),financially comfortable, generous, loves my son,great character and strength, healthy, protective, calm-speaks in low voice, similar interests, loves me/I love him, empathy.

 

That's what mattered to me and that's what I was looking for. I didn't write funny, or tall, or handsome, or anything like that. If that's settling for you, it's settling for you. Don't assume everyone wants the same things in a partner when you see others and you assume they're settling. Maybe you woudln't choose their partner, but if they did, it means they want him, and they do not have YOUR standards. As for me, I think I want the things that matter for a emotionally healthy and long term relationship. Hot and sexy and even funny are characteristics that are welcome but can only be primary when you look for short term flings, because he can be tall and fit and with locks of hair but be an *******, abuse you and not treat you right and his physical attributes will not help you be happy at all. And ultimately, we all want a relationship because we want to be happy.

Edited September 8, 2015 by BluEyeL

[Eternal Sunshine]

Wow this thread turned sad...so here's my story of love after 30.

 

 

I did not date much at all in my 20's. I was doing the whole career / advanced degree thing. I finally decided to put my personal life first when I got in my 30's. Hit the gym - got in shape, gained confidence and started the whole online dating thing. About 9 months into that (and one short 2 1/2 month relationship that didn't end well), I was over it. Work was crazy and I was tired of first dates that didn't go anywhere (I refused to settle).

 

 

I went out on one final date, mainly because I had been talking and putting off the guy for a month due to crazy work...He is now my husband. We met when we were 33 and got married when we were 34. I will admit I did not feel amazing fireworks on our first date, but I now attribute that to the fact that I was so burned out on dating and my work like was killing me. He said he knew on the 2nd date, but it took me about 4 dates to realize there was something different.

 

 

We were both single, never married, decent jobs, good families, similar religious beliefs and very little baggage.

 

 

Why did it take until our 30's? For me because I put other things ahead of dating. For him, he was extremely picky and refused to settle. He wanted someone that shared his beliefs, lifestyle, and he felt that spark with.

 

It sounds to me like you settled. I don't blame you but it is what it is.

 

"Something different" was probably the fact that he was into you, seemed to treat you well and wanted a committed relationship. I guess that's different enough from other online prospects.