Cndnmike2 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Hello, I had met my ex online, from the first message we sent to each other we hot it off. Literally talking for hours and hours everyday since then. After talking for a month we decided to go on a date, which also happened to be my birthday. The date went so well we ended up spending the next 24 hours together. We decided we had such a great connection we should be a couple. So we carried on as a couple dating for a couple months after, again we had a great relationship and connection the whole time. She started saying how I was everything she's ever wanted, told me she knew she wanted to marry me and was even going to tell her parents. She asked if I was willing to move closer to her ( we lived about 40 minutes away from each other) so after thinking, praying, and talking about it I decided I'd start by getting a job closer to her. So I got hired, she seemed so excited... before my first day of work I said you're sure you think this is a good idea? She said yes of course, I'm excited. So I started my new job, well that day she had a meeting with her therapist which ended right after I got off of work at my new job, I head to her place after and she seemed cold and distant. I asked her what's going on? She said she didn't know if we should be together anymore, said she knew she needed to work on a few things in her life, that she didn't want to date other people but just needed time to work on being happy with herself again. I tried to understand but also tried to work things out first. She said she wanted to date me again in 6 months and see how that goes and to please not leave her life. I said no problem, I love you, and wish we could just work through this together but I support you. She said I hope you know how much I love and care about you. After a couple weeks I knew seeing her on fb and keeping in touch wouldn't allow me to get over the break up. So I texted her said we will see each other in a few months, and then changed my phone number and blocked her on fb. I'm not mad or anything. Just hurt knowing the whole time we were together as a couple she was so supportive, encouraging, caring, and everyone she knew said she was crazy about me. But once we broke it off she didn't talk to me, or say anything. I have dated a ton of women in the past, been engaged twice, but this girl and I had a solid relationship. Even though we only dated a few months it caused me more pain after breaking up than all the other women combined. I truly love this woman. Couple weeks later I had heard she's on dating sites now. I just don't understand how she could go from saying how much she loved me, how I was everything she's ever wanted, and how much she appreciates me to breaking up with me and attempting to date other people two weeks later. So confused and hurt.
Fleur de cactus Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Sorry your are hurt. It is not easy to love someone with serious issue that requires therapy. The person can go hot and cold unpredictably. it must be tough for you since you went through changing work and living arrangement for her and now it is over. But I think blocking her on every mean of contact did not help. This kind of tactic is done when you are done with a relationship and want to forget and move on. Now you cannot blame her for being on dating site again since maybe she is thinking that you move on too. No way to reach you. At least if the window was open you could exchange some how are you messages once in a while. Or she could be on dating site and you would know for sure that she is not interested in you. Anyway keep you job, try to live well and take care of yourself You will find lover again..
bachdude Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I am amazed that your ex girlfriend could actually look you in the face and expect you to wait for her for 6 months after asking you to relocate. Unless there was some sudden, huge issue that just came up, I would be embarrassed out of my mind to break up with someone right after they relocated for me, at my request, let alone to expect them to wait around for me. I am sorry to say this in the midst of your pain but you just dodged a major bullet.
bluefeather Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Cndnmike2, is it bipolar disorder that she has? aka manic depression..?
Author Cndnmike2 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Honestly I believe the only way someone can really appreciate you is by removing your presence. I am not sure what's going on. I know I don't deserve to be promised marriage and then left two days later. I think back to everything and by no means am I a perfect person but I know I did my part. I was supportive, I gave her space, I literally got her a great paying job she always wanted, I helped her sell her car, borrowed her my car and helped her find her new car. I had a good relationship with her parents before and after breakup. I appreciated the good times we had. I never yelled at her, I respected her, and was there for her and her family in their hard times. I just don't understand how I can be good to someone and in return they treat me like I don't exist and date other people after saying they wouldn't. Sorry I don't agree, she knows where I live, she knows my address. If I had someone relocate for me and left them and treated them like trash after, I would never learn to respect that person if they just keep me on Facebook, keep contact with me, and act like being pinky aware friends is all good and gravy. I would never disrespect or ignore someone after they have done nothing but support me, improve my life, and helped me. That is cold hearted in my opinion!
bluefeather Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 well it might make sense. the problem is most likely not with you but with her and in her head. I have been in a very similar situation and it hurt a lot. still does occasionally but I have been a lot better off accepting that it was not something that could have been helped. you say it makes no sense how she could treat you one way and then the other, despite your best efforts? it is illogical, yes? that is probably because this person is not logical. sorry buddy. let her go. she probably needs help, but it isn't something you can give her: therapy (like she is supposedly taking), and possibly medication.
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