Easy does it Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Hello everyone, I'm a guy and I've just come out of a 7 year relationship. No kids or house (just renting) so that makes things a little easier. My fiancee at the time ended things and I've been doing No Contact for over a week now and things are getting a little easier with each day. To be honest I saw it coming so it's not as if I was blindsided which I think would have been worse. Things were not great in the relationship for about the last year, lots of arguing and I think we were both to blame for the breakdown of the relationship. I suggested going to relationship counseling and trying to improve things but she said it was too late and wasn't interested. I feel happy that I've tried to save the relationship though. In the past year or so I've been working on improving myself and just in being a happier, more positive person. I don't know whether I was being too distant for the past year or whatever, but hey I thought it's about time I put myself first and don't regret working on myself. Even with the breakdown of this relationship I feel twice the man I was this time last year. I've challenged myself in work and my personal life and come out the other side stronger. I'm trying to look at this as a positive, it's difficult and some days are easier than others. Some days I'll be thinking with my head and I'll think if I can get through this then I can get through anything and it will make me a stronger person in the long term, which it will. And I remind myself that I get to fall in love with someone else all over again which will of course be great. But other days I seem to be thinking with my heart and saying to myself 'why did she have to leave and cause me this pain' and 'what could I have done differently' BUT I saw a quote I really liked the other day "When life puts me in tough situations instead of saying 'why me' say 'try me'" and I say that to myself and it makes me feel better and reminds me that this is a good situation to challenge me and that it will make me a stronger, better man. I've learnt so much from the relationship with the mistakes I've made and will not make them again. I'm obviously going to continue NC and I know things will get easier. I just need to have more 'head days' than 'heart days'. 6
ravfour4 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Well written, I feel the same way at times.
Gus Grimly Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Even with the breakdown of this relationship I feel twice the man I was this time last year. I've challenged myself in work and my personal life and come out the other side stronger. Good for you!!!! I was in a similar situation as you. I took it a lot harder than you I think, but the wisdom of the members on this forum made me realize what a disastrous situation I was in. I too have come out stronger as well, it's crazy. Friends and family tell me they've never seen me so confident and look so good. I found myself again, rediscovered my passions for art, poetry, photography, cooking, and song writing. I'm a happier person now without the weight of that heinous relationship holding me back. Don't get me wrong, that first month the breakup had debilitated me. I've not only bounced back in a big way, but I feel better than ever. I have an entirely new lease on life!!! It's nice to see others who've managed to find a similar path to salvation. I'll never lose sight of this "me" again, because without "him", I'm nothing. 2
listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 And I remind myself that I get to fall in love with someone else all over again which will of course be great. That is an amazing way to look at things, I've never considered that before
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