listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 So as the title says my girlfriend of three years has JUST broken up with me. What advice can you all give me for some positive steps to make right NOW to prevent myself crashing too hard when this denial wears off? I am, of course, pretty horrified about it all but I want to try and overcome the next however long with dignity and forward thinking. Help! 2
Samuel_22 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I love your style, this is I want to see more. ''dignity and forward thinking.'' this is the key and you already know where you have to go... The fist thing you have to do is to stop any contact of any kind with your ex block her everywhere you can, toss everything that reminds you of her, books, movies, anything...if you feel you have to cry, don't suppress it, let it out...this natural and helps you heal faster...don't respond to her messages, phone calls etc, if she called...I have got a story about this, that I will tell you later...Try to focus on yourself, forget about her, I am gonna give you the golden key to find the angel you want, without even looking back...the only thing you have to do, is to make yourself better and better...you version 2.0, and if you do this you will be more confident, and the more confident you are, the better and more attractive women you can attract...Trust you will find someone better soon....break ups, only make you better...just stick to the plan, and keep us posted, before doing anything regarding your ex Good luck 5
Mondmellonw Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 So as the title says my girlfriend of three years has JUST broken up with me. What advice can you all give me for some positive steps to make right NOW to prevent myself crashing too hard when this denial wears off? I am, of course, pretty horrified about it all but I want to try and overcome the next however long with dignity and forward thinking. Help! Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel and to let your emotions flow. But don't let them drive you/control you, instead of that (and if necessary) control them. Meditation/exercise/making art are great ways to deal with all kinds of strong emotions. Reach out here if you feel anxious. Think about the bad times more than the good ones... Do not rush into anything new (another relationship). I guess that's it good luck. 3
MINDSHIFT Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I love your style, this is I want to see more. ''dignity and forward thinking.'' this is the key and you already know where you have to go... The fist thing you have to do is to stop any contact of any kind with your ex block her everywhere you can, toss everything that reminds you of her, books, movies, anything...if you feel you have to cry, don't suppress it, let it out...this natural and helps you heal faster...don't respond to her messages, phone calls etc, if she called...I have got a story about this, that I will tell you later...Try to focus on yourself, forget about her, I am gonna give you the golden key to find the angel you want, without even looking back...the only thing you have to do, is to make yourself better and better...you version 2.0, and if you do this you will be more confident, and the more confident you are, the better and more attractive women you can attract...Trust you will find someone better soon....break ups, only make you better...just stick to the plan, and keep us posted, before doing anything regarding your ex Good luck Love the advice and I also love your style. Wish I came here first before I decided to beg. Strict no contact, **** her there nothing you can do or say to change a person mind. Move on with head held high, she would probably come crawling bak. But your goal should be to improve yourself. 2
Author listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 I love your style, this is I want to see more. ''dignity and forward thinking.'' this is the key and you already know where you have to go... The fist thing you have to do is to stop any contact of any kind with your ex block her everywhere you can, toss everything that reminds you of her, books, movies, anything...if you feel you have to cry, don't suppress it, let it out...this natural and helps you heal faster...don't respond to her messages, phone calls etc, if she called...I have got a story about this, that I will tell you later...Try to focus on yourself, forget about her, I am gonna give you the golden key to find the angel you want, without even looking back...the only thing you have to do, is to make yourself better and better...you version 2.0, and if you do this you will be more confident, and the more confident you are, the better and more attractive women you can attract...Trust you will find someone better soon....break ups, only make you better...just stick to the plan, and keep us posted, before doing anything regarding your ex Good luck Amazing advice, thank you very much! I fell pretty hard after my last breakup so am determined (so far!) to try and be truer to myself this time! Now, tell me that story...
Author listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel and to let your emotions flow. But don't let them drive you/control you, instead of that (and if necessary) control them. Meditation/exercise/making art are great ways to deal with all kinds of strong emotions. Reach out here if you feel anxious. Think about the bad times more than the good ones... Do not rush into anything new (another relationship). I guess that's it good luck. I think when the denial wears off and the anxiety kicks in will be the real testing time...I'll try to pop in here every once in a while for a happy-booster...and all the while else concentrate on creative projects. I'm VERY creative which helps! 1
Author listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Love the advice and I also love your style. Wish I came here first before I decided to beg. Strict no contact, **** her there nothing you can do or say to change a person mind. Move on with head held high, she would probably come crawling bak. But your goal should be to improve yourself. I've told myself this time NO begging! Am going to try and keep my head held high always. Will keep you all posted as to how that works out, haha! 1
Jaggerz Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Okay, so I guess it is: Do not beg, and do not contact at all. After that, the most important is, set a goal for yourself and surround yourself with friends. Tell your story to EVERYONE. After a while, you get so comfortable telling the story, it doesn't bother you anymore. 1
Samuel_22 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I've told myself this time NO begging! Am going to try and keep my head held high always. Will keep you all posted as to how that works out, haha! HAHA!!! GIMME A HIGH FIVE MATE!!! It has been a while I have not seen such a gutsy and brave person...YOU SON OF A GUN!!! I am proud of you! No begging? WOW!!! Here we go again, I won't be surprised if somebody said, you are my alter ego....I bet you are gonna be fine in no time.... 1
Author listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 HAHA!!! GIMME A HIGH FIVE MATE!!! It has been a while I have not seen such a gutsy and brave person...YOU SON OF A GUN!!! I am proud of you! No begging? WOW!!! Here we go again, I won't be surprised if somebody said, you are my alter ego....I bet you are gonna be fine in no time.... *HIGH FIVE!* I think after my last (very brutal) breakup I'm going to approach this one differently y'know? I'm the wrong side of 30 now so although there was more resting on this last relationship I'm a bit older and wiser, begging for reconciliation is a big no-go in my book...this time 2
ScienceGal Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 The best thing you can do is be ready for the stages of grieving by knowing what they are and maintaining no contact during them. Note: healing is not always linear, you may pop in and out of the stages more than once. There's a number of articles, but the stages are the same: 1. denial 2. anger 3. bargaining 4. depression 5. acceptance Here's details on them according to one source: Relationships Ending: The Five Stages of Grief After a Break Up Good luck! 2
Samuel_22 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 *HIGH FIVE!* I think after my last (very brutal) breakup I'm going to approach this one differently y'know? I'm the wrong side of 30 now so although there was more resting on this last relationship I'm a bit older and wiser, begging for reconciliation is a big no-go in my book...this time You man!you handled it like a pro..I am also 28...I agree man when someone wants to go, you should let that person go...no begging, that just boosts their nasty ego...she told me she wanted to go back to her ex...I just said ok...I bet she is still angry at me for that, but hey you don't reward people who break your heart...It was really nice talking to you, should you need any help, to go through this stage, know that we are here!
Samuel_22 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 The best thing you can do is be ready for the stages of grieving by knowing what they are and maintaining no contact during them. Note: healing is not always linear, you may pop in and out of the stages more than once. There's a number of articles, but the stages are the same: 1. denial 2. anger 3. bargaining 4. depression 5. acceptance Here's details on them according to one source: Relationships Ending: The Five Stages of Grief After a Break Up Good luck! denial? anger? bargaining? depression? Gal, this dude has already passed stage number 5... ....he is a paragon alright! 1
Author listmaker Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 denial? anger? bargaining? depression? Gal, this dude has already passed stage number 5... ....he is a paragon alright! Wow, I wouldn't go that far, haha! I'm just trying to sort out what I'm going to do for the other stages once this first one wears off...setting up a decent base acceptance to cling onto when the depression hits 2
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