alex.simpson Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Hi Im alex from Germany i am 26, and I am going thru a bad time at the moment. My english is realy bad so sorry if i mix it with german words. I have been together with my girlfriend for 1 year and a half now and she is the best person that I know, she always talk to me in a long term mode: kids, moving in together, I met her family etc. She is french from the south and really kind. She seems so serious about the relationship, sometimes more than me. However, the other day while at work I had to see a client to the main square of my city Berlin. I was together with 3 of my bosses and other people. My surprise was when I saw her walking along her french ex ( who left her because he was going for a year to California) in the area where she leaves. Of course she thought that it was imposssible that i would find her because my office is far away from this square. So it is a huge coincidence that I saw her. My impulse was to talk to her but because she was very far and I was with my colleagues and bosses I had to swallow it. Instead, I decided to give her the chance to tell me about it but she hasnt in the last 2 months and it looks like she won't ever tell me. I have no idea of what they did while this guy was in Berlin. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. But I feel like even if she did nothing she is already breaking my trust. Last but not least, next year we are facing a LDR and she is going to the Uk, Manchester. My surprise was that she left her mail open in my computer once and I cheked a recent email of this guy stating that he would go to the Uk, to another city on a certain week in october, she answered that it is so cool they are going to see each other. I dont know what to think. I really wanna talk to hear about this.Let me know if something similar happen to you or wether i should break up with her directly. Thanks Alex.
Happines Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 She is meeting up with her ex and not once mentioned it to you plus they are making plans about seeing each other in UK...this should answer all ur questions But u can always talk to her in calm way
SoleMate Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Before breaking up, I'd be tempted to say, "I know there's something going on with you and your ex, would you like to tell me about that?" DON'T give her any info about what you know, just wait for her to be honest and admit the contacts and texts. If she doesn't, then I'd recommend a breakup. 2
MINDSHIFT Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 She cheating on you or is about too. CUT THE CANCER BEFORE IT SPREADS. 1
lauri Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Think of it this way...what is your gut telling you? I already know this answer by what you are writing and expressing. This girl isn't loyal to you. She knows what she is doing and she never told you because in her mind "it means nothing!". Well, you and I both know that it means everything. If I was you, I'd end things with her. You have to have the mentality that you can and will find someone else. Never be scared to walk away, especially in this case. 1
HandsomeBoh Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 What. Why would you end a relationship just based on this? There are a million possibilities. She could have been walking around and met him on the streets and decided not to tell you in case you got paranoid WHICH YOU DID. She could have agreed to meet him to pass him some of his old things and she didn't want to tell anyone and just get it over with. She could have been trying to talk him out of committing suicide out of depression. She could also be cheating on you. But if you don't give her a chance to explain what is going on then you're betraying your own relationship.
theredpill Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I'd just ask her for a chat, you can tell her you saw her with him and wondered why you didn't mention it - had it been the other way around, I'm sure she'd be asking you. Everything will come out during this talk, trust your gut. Good luck dude 1
Waynester Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 As theredpill mentioned already, I would simply but calmly ask her about it. It may be completely innocent hence why she hasn't mentioned it to you. You will get all the answers you need by how she reacts to your question. If you have an honest open relationship, asking her should pose no problems. If she reacts defensively or aggressively..then sadly, I'm afraid to say your gut instinct maybe telling you the truth. I hope for you this is not the case. Remember in law, everybody is innocent until proven guilty.
lauri Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 What. Why would you end a relationship just based on this? There are a million possibilities. She could have been walking around and met him on the streets and decided not to tell you in case you got paranoid WHICH YOU DID. She could have agreed to meet him to pass him some of his old things and she didn't want to tell anyone and just get it over with. She could have been trying to talk him out of committing suicide out of depression. She could also be cheating on you. But if you don't give her a chance to explain what is going on then you're betraying your own relationship. You could be right, but if it was anything else than cheating or being sneaky, don't you think she would have said it? What about their emails talking about meeting and spending time in the UK ? I'm sorry but I'd be gone. Seen this too many time and have even lived it myself. If anything, he has ever reason to be suspicious. Hell, my ex was messaging me for an entire year (I ignored her and went NC) while she was with another guy trying to get me back in her life, only to try to hook up with me and play games. There is no excuse for her hiding things and doing this. I guarantee if it was him doing it vise versa, people would be saying "he's cheating!!!" as well.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Emails + chance encounter? You know exactly what's going on. Sorry to hear.
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