Versacehottie Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 So he did finally text yesterday. But I avoided the phone all day. He asked if he did something wrong...so I explained I thought it was me. He thought I was mad at him, and of course I wasnt...we had a good chuckle about it...because we were both way off on what we thought was happening. So all is good. But now I know not to assume the worst. I was in a bad relationship as I mentioned, he yelled at me for everything from one text too many to looking at him wrong...literally. He was like walking on broken glass. But I hung on too long hoping it would change. He really did make me believe that all I did really was in fact, wrong. I didn't think he was a bad guy. But I should have...and I really think it makes me too insecure sometimes now. I know for sure not all guys are like this...but I think it makes me edgy, and I haven't even seen him for a couple years now. Since then, with every guy I feel like Im going to get scolded any minute...then relieved when I don't, but still think its coming eventually... what I want to work on is figuring out how to make that go away. Very glad he contacted you!!! Good communication and the ability not to panic is really important. Sounds like even from this little hiccup yesterday you learned something: don't assume the worst and go into all or nothing, negative pessimistic thinking. Celebrate and enjoy moving forward with the new guy. However, don't stick your head in the sand about the problems that cropped up within this incident. The level of negative thinking you had from someone you hardly knew and reflected onto yourself and your future prospects will cause you problems in the future if you don't deal with it. It will always put you at a disadvantage with the other person. And the anxiety and possible overreaction. Just some things to think about to work on so you can make this relationship a success or any future ones. I only say these things because if you don't resolve them internally, then you either won't be able to achieve the relationship you want or the external happiness you thought getting the guy would bring you, it doesn't bring you and you will go through countless ups and downs and possibly be mistreated again. Not to put a damper on things at all. Having a beginning relationship with someone you are interested in is GREAT and you can work on the things you need to work on within it. And it will build confidence if you handle it right. Bottom line: you will be ok with or without a guy. Take the good from the incident too. He sounds like he was a good communicator and you too. From the way you wrote about the interaction here it sounds like you did not convey a clinginess or insecurity in that conversation which kept it light and gave you guys the ability to resolve things. yay, successes those. Congratulations 1
Author rainrhonda Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Thank you...yes I think this is the first time since ex-meany that I have been so interested. So I know this is a good time to resolve what that did to me...relax and let it go free...as though it never happened. That may not happen overnight but feel I am getting closer. And yes our converation was straight forward and light...I cleared up he did nothing wrong and he cleared up I did nothing wrong...and we laughed it off, and we picked up where we left off on flirting and saying we want to see eachother again. We made out the other night, so he thought I was mad that he "touched me wrong" or something like that....so in a sense, both thought we were moving too fast for the other...lol. So I guess this means we are on pace and in sync. I am very glad. Thanks all the advice here. It does help. If I come here for all my dilemmas, you will all be very busy... 1
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