My guy no longer solidifies plans in advance anymore, but he used to?

[garfish99]

I've been dating him for 10 months. We both have a 3 day weekend. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to do something this weekend. He texted back, "OK, thinking maybe Sat night or Sunday night works. Also need to get my long run in and do some paperwork for the office and university. Just gotta get that stuff done." So I've been looking into making other plans and not surprisingly, it's 7pm on Sat and he hasn't mentioned when he CAN see me. And I haven't asked since the ball is in his court.

 

The last time I saw him was Tues when he happened to eat dinner in my neighorhood and asked if I was free in the next hour. I didn't have any plans that night, was dressed, and the place was a short walk away so I accepted. Then I invited him to sleep over since we enjoy cuddling.

 

A few weeks ago, I ask him on a Wed if he was free during the weekend to see me. He said he had to check his running schedule. Which is just an app which tells him to run short or long (12+) miles everyday. This seemed like a weird excuse because even his long runs are 2 hours. Not ALL weekend. Well the next day, Thursday, he texted that he decided to go on a short run and that I was welcome to join him. Then we both saw a social event we wanted to attend, so we went. Had dinner after and he came over my place to cuddle and sleepover. I didn't mention the weekend and he didn't even bring it up so I didn't see him Sat or Sun. He tends to need space for a few days after dates so I shouldn't be surprised right?

 

This is a relatively new thing. Before, he would tell me "Sunday works" None of this "Let's see", crap. Last week I ask him on Fri about the weekend, and he said, "I'm free tonight if you're up for it." So we had a lovely date but again, it was last minute.

 

Since he said, "Maybe Sat or Sun night" should I just wait for him to bring it up again? I feel like maybe I've been too available and chasing him too much. . I've been guilty of accepting last minute dates. I'm trying to make other plans for Sun night. What else can I do? Not sure how to bring it up or IF I should bring it up. Or if I should see this as a blow off and forget about him? Or make myself less available and see if things improve?

[Gloria25]

Just curious here...

 

In general, do you two meet up on weekdays or weekends?

 

I mean, IMO, at the 10 month mark he should be making you part of his weekends, IMO (well, unless he has a job that he does on the weekends and like a weekday is his "weekend").

[garfish99]

Just curious here...

 

In general, do you two meet up on weekdays or weekends?

 

I mean, IMO, at the 10 month mark he should be making you part of his weekends, IMO (well, unless he has a job that he does on the weekends and like a weekday is his "weekend").

 

I usually see him at least 2 days during the week and one night on the weekend. With some weekends skipped. The weekend dates consist of an activity, followed by a sleepover, then spend the next day together until 1 or 2pm.

 

We both have weekends off.

[Gloria25]

Well, if your dates are last minute and consist of your doing all the "arranging", then I guess you're not a priority to him.

 

I mean, at the 10 month mark, I'm assuming he'd WANT to spend some part and/or all of this weekend with a chick he's dating on the regular.

[Frank2thepoint]

You can't say he doesn't solidify plans in advance, because even a last minute date as technically a plan he solidified with you. He's not flaking on you. Also you two are spending time together. Maybe not to your liking, but you two are. In addition, you did mention he has paperwork to handle for the office and university. I'm this means he is working and also a student. If this is true, be thankful you do get to spend time with each.

 

What I'm concerned about is you have been together for 10 months, and you are hesitant to communicate your concern with him. I can easily say that with nearly a year of being together, you guys have moved past the exciting, honeymoon phase of the relationship, and eased in to a comfortable habit. Around this time is when couple's can begin taking each other for granted. I recommend for you to communicate your concern, but without attacking him. Be open to negotiate in case he has a demanding schedule between work and school.

[preraph]

Only one way to break this habit, whether it be a bf or gf or a friend, and that's to not be available at the last minute. You don't stir up trouble about it. It's a sloppy habit of taking you for granted. You remain cheerful and affectionate but say "Oh, I already made plans," and you explain no further. "With friends" is adequate and get off the phone. If he wants to see you, he will start making plans ahead again.