Meet ex for a night of passion?

[Confused and Lonely]

Hi,

 

I feel a bit embarrassed to talk about this, but hey, what's an anonymous forum for?

 

So my ex broke up with me 8 months ago. I still love and miss him but am not showing it. Since he broke up with me I have seen him twice. Both times he told/showed me that he is not 'ready' for a relationship, but still feels attracted to me and has hinted about sleeping together. I ignored his comments.

 

Anyway, since he left me I have not had sex with anyone. I am not the type for one-night stands, and I am still too much wrapped up in my ex to start a relationship with someone new. But I really miss sleeping with someone.

 

So lately I started to wonder if I should ask my ex out for drinks and then 'seduce' him. I think it would be easy to get him into bed, but I know that this does not mean that we are back together again or anything.

 

I just really miss making love and would rather do it with him then anybody else in the world.

 

Of course I am worried that this might put me back into my original misery and heartbreak, which I felt right after he left me. But who am I kidding, I am not over him anyway and still think about him all the time.

 

I am just worried that if I don't get to have sex soon, I might go out with friends one night, get drunk, and take the next best guy home with me. And I really don't want to do that, and would probably regret it big time the next day.

 

So any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation?

 

Thanks

[XNemesisX]

Yeah, I have been in a similar situation. My "seduction" of him led us to getting back together

 

Ok so this might sound good right? Wrong.

 

We broke up again 6 months later.

 

If you really feel that this is what you want to do, then do it. It may help him remember what he's missing. But then you might end up in my position. He may love the sex more than you yourself. You definitely don't want this to be the only reason he wants to be around you. Not to mention, after we started having sex again, my ex was all about getting back together. What if your ex doesn't react this way? That could really end up hurting you. Better think about this very carefully.

[amish]

Ack!!!! I just did this on Sunday....with my ex-wife. As in your situation I was the dumpee, she the dumper. I'm not sure how smart it was. I mean yeah it was great at the time, more than great. BUT...I was doing pretty well dealing with it all finally, and now I'm just so confused. I'm not sure what your feelings are about reconciliation but I think that's been my biggest problem with what went on: I have always been pro-reconciliation in our case (especially with a son involved) and now I feel like with the false hope it's given me I've taken so many steps backward after all the hard work I've done to cope with it all. Now I have this damned feeling of "maybe we can get back together" in the back of my mind. I'm having to fight myself not to call/text/e-mail her about what went on that night. Hell, even talking to her on the phone about things not related to that is uncomfortable. Ugh....was it smart?

 

Bottom line: There's one huge PRO, and many CONS in doing this. Ultimately it's up to you, but be prepared to have your head spin.

[scarlyjones]

Look,...............there is a REASON you guys broke up. Having freaky monkey sex for ONE night isnt going to fix whatever that reason was. All that will do is intensify your "MISSING" him. Whatever ground you may have gained in getting over him will be destroyed and you will have to start over. This can only hurt you. Badly.

[SexKitten]

if you're still not over him at all after 8 months, sleeping with him is not the way to go.

 

i am not condoning sex with strangers...but maybe sleeping with ""the next best guy" isn't the worst thing to do in your case. at the least, it'll give you something else to think about and help you move on.

 

 

he already broken your heart, you've been agonizing for nearly a year, and he hints at wanting to sleep with you without a relationship...ew. he sounds like a typical creep.

 

why not make it clear to him (instead of ignoring his comments) that you aren't willing to sleep with him unless you knew it was going somewhere...or something was already established?

 

he'll either hang around and do it your way, or he'll disappear because he's not into it.

 

either way, you get your answer without making yourself look like a fool--which is the last thing you want to do after your dumped and still hurting.

 

good luck, and let us know what happens. be strong.

[Bubbles]

The only advice I can give you is this:

 

DO NOT EXPECT IT TO FEEL THE SAME as it did in the past. You WILL feel used afterwards. You will cry.

 

It's really not worth it. If you are feeling horney then as another poster has said "the next best guy" would be a waaaaaay better idea rather than your ex.

 

If you don't trust us? Then go for it.............we'll be waiting for your next post.

 

 

bubbles

[dogood4urself]

I know its quite tempting and the sex will probably be amazing but YOU ARE GONNA GET HURT! I am telling you this from experience, If there is a champion of sleeping with ex-s -- it is me. And everytime it's a bad idea. Specially since you are not over him...honestly sometimes I find myself realizing that it is not my ex I miss, but my relationship...the sweet ****, cuddling, the dates...the sex...blah blah blah... I thought that I couldn't be interested in anyone else, and then I made out with someone and It was great! I realizied that All I needed was a little love ...I recomend you do the same, what the hell, give it a try with someone else...if you regret it at least it won't be as bad ass you will regret sleeping with your ex.....

 

********************************************************************************************************

"Love many...trust few"

[DeaconFrost]

Don't do it. There is no point in wallowing in pain after the deed is done because you know its gonna happen. Stay away from him. I miss the booty too, but I know if we hooked up either I or her would have a difficult time afterwards. Its better to let the demons rest and hide.

 

Go out, grab a few drinks, and ride the next cowboy who looks at you the right way. Just be safe...that's all.

 

So.....*ahem*......would you be interested in maybe grabbing a drink or four? I'm a cheap date and easy to get in the sack

[Bubbles]

BAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA

 

That was funny!

 

 

bubbles

[Fallen_Angel]

I also am not an advocate of casual sex, and my ex was also my first...

 

But I will say this: up until this past weekend, I cried just about once a day. It was like clockwork. I too miss not only the sexual intimacy with my ex, but every aspect of our relationship. Then I fooled around with a close guy friend. It's certainly not the smartest thing I've ever done, but admittedly I was finally thinking about something else besides my ex! And at least it was a guy I knew, not some random dude from a bar.

 

I haven't cried in three days.

 

Of course this probably means I'm long overdue for a serious sobfest, but until then...hehe.

[Confused and Lonely]

Thank you all for your replies.

 

Well, I listened to what most of you said and did not call him and ask him out on a date.

 

What I have not mentioned in my previous post is that I have been doing 2 months of NC by today, and I guess my desire to not break this, has helped me a bit.

 

I still think about him all the time and whenever a cute guy talks to me, I only think about my ex, about his smile and about this look he used to have in his eyes when we first started dating.

 

But I guess you are all right when you say that it will just hurt me and I will regret it later. So I am trying to stay strong and stay away from him. I am also trying to not pick up a guy at a bar, because I know I would feel bad after that as well.

 

Just going to live celibate for a little longer and hopefully a new guy will enter my life soon.

[Bubbles]

I know it's not easy to "get over" an ex but.......I hope it comes soon for you. It's not healthy to cry day after day!

 

I cried for 6 months after my ex and I broke up......I could hardly focus on any-thing.....even my children and that's just no good. No good can come from crying. I did'nt make any advancements in my life - I was'nt happy and therefore no one around me was happy. I just had to stop crying and yes.........the comfort of a mans arms is a great place to be so saddle up next to your Dad! The little girl in me enjoyed that! and it made my Dad feel wanted by his little girl.

 

bubbles

[kaylap89]

Listen to me......dont do it! My ex and I broke up and I missed him so much I ended up sleeping with him 3 times hoping Id get him back...wrong. It shows them that your...hmmmm whats the word.....weak, easy, it shows them that you need them in your life, and the way I think of it, is....if your not good enough to be together, why would you be good enough to sleep together....its ridiculous!

[lindya]

It's so easy to get into that situation with an ex. A few glasses of wine and you think "what the hell - it's only sex." But it never is "only sex" - and when they take the temporary partner tag back off and leave it at your door, you'll feel an awful lot lonelier than you did before your night of passion.

[XNemesisX]

Yeah, I think you need to have your sexual needs fulfilled by someone else.

 

NOT YOUR EX!!! Bleh @ the creep.

 

I know this sounds bad, but being in another man's arms can make you feel a lot better

 

At first, I would just think of my ex right after I would be with another guy, but now....haha trust me my ex isn't even entering my mind AT ALL!

[norcaldivr]

X has a point.

 

Like someone older and wiser than myself in the ways of the world once said:

 

The best way to get over one lover is to get under another.