lovesfool Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I had a problem in my last relationship that eventually failed. After a number of months dating, the spark was lost. We realized we turned into friends rather than lovers. We had similar interests, same sense of humor and told each other everything. Could this have been the problem? Should I be looking for someone that is the opposite of me to avoid falling into the trap of becoming just friends and not true partners? What is the key to keeping the spark alive when you are dating?
Redhead14 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I had a problem in my last relationship that eventually failed. After a number of months dating, the spark was lost. We realized we turned into friends rather than lovers. We had similar interests, same sense of humor and told each other everything. Could this have been the problem? Should I be looking for someone that is the opposite of me to avoid falling into the trap of becoming just friends and not true partners? What is the key to keeping the spark alive when you are dating? If the "spark" dies in the early stages of dating, it simply wasn't mean't to be. If it were a long term relationship and things had say just gotten comfortable, i'd tell you some things that could be tried. How quickly did things move in this relationship? Usually if things move too quickly in a newer relationship, spending too much time together, it just smothers the spark. 2
Popsicle Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I had a problem in my last relationship that eventually failed. After a number of months dating, the spark was lost. We realized we turned into friends rather than lovers. We had similar interests, same sense of humor and told each other everything. Could this have been the problem? Should I be looking for someone that is the opposite of me to avoid falling into the trap of becoming just friends and not true partners? What is the key to keeping the spark alive when you are dating? Nobody knows the answer to this. It is one of romances great mysteries. You could try reading the book "Mating in Captivity" though. 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 spark is always temporary. I think the real work in relationships take time and is often about choice. If a person did not "choose" to be in a relationship or to work at it, it says a lot about them and their style of commitment.
Gary S Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Nobody knows the answer to this. It is one of romances great mysteries.. - don't be so sure How long was the relationship exactly? 1
newmoon Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 it failed because you became friends? that sounds funny:)
xcupid Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 It failed because you were incompatible in one or more areas. Good that you're still friends tho. Keep the spark alive with romance IMO.
nescafe1982 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Sometimes the spark of infatuation just doesn't mature into something more long term. Sometimes one or both partners did something to kill the spark... but more often, it's no one's fault. Just incompatibility. If yours was a case where you mutually felt more 'friendly' than amorous... well, count your blessings. More often, it doesn't break so evenly. That said, how do you keep things interesting once you're in a long-term romance? Effort. Dating doesn't stop when a relationship begins.
shet Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 The biggest thing I've learned as I've aged, about relationships, is the amount of work it takes to make one succeed. This is something younger people don't appreciate, they live in the fantasyland of the young where amongst other things they think relationships just happen, and then when they both get bored of each other because theyre both being boring, they wonder what happened. They talk about sparks and chemistry and think that really means anything, or ensures a good relationship. They never talk about the commitment to the project of being a couple because it's unfun and unsexy, up until whatever age they are when it dawns on them that, on a practical basis, nothing is sexier than a partner who knows how to just get the **** along with you, be present in your corner and live a life together. 1
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