HowMightI-live Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 i didnt see it coming. Never in a million years did i think i would hear from my ex again, but it happened. Its been a year NC, the longest we've ever went without speaking. Im still sorta in shock, as i recieved the email this morning and have been contemplating what to do about it ever since. She wanted to know if ive been calling her from an unknown number and trying to reach her because she thought she heard my voice. I dont believe her on account of having known her for 3+ years and this is just her way of reaching out. Weve broken up exactly 3 times and everytime she broke it off and came back, there was always some lame excuse involved in why she needed to text/call/email me after months of not speaking. We always got back together after that. Im not sure how to respond or whether i should even respond for that matter. I know im happy. It took me quite a while to get to this point in my life. I also know i love her, but im not even sure what that means anymore. For the first time ever, i cant picture myself with her..happy with her. When i try to imagine it in my head it feels almost like im embracing a stranger..kissing a stranger, loving a stranger. And that made me realise that i love her, but i think ive fallen out of love with her, if that makes sense. Im not sure. I hold no resentments toward her so if i ignored her, would it come across as me holding a grudge? I mean, i dont particulary feel a need to respond, but i also dont feel right just ignoring her. The break up was civil, she wanted out, as we were both unhappy and fighting all the time and i respected her decision. I then broke no contact after 3 months and basically poured my heart out to her and her response was that she would always love me, wished me all the best and life but that she needed space. I respected that and went full nc. And here we are a year later..
quattrob Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 That email doesn't mean anything, you broke up 3 times already and you're at a better place. You're happy so keep NC. It has nothing to do with being rude if you didnt respond, I think her reaching out the way she did is rude because she gave you some bs excuse to contact you. Unless she's clear and stops playing these games don't respond. 6
Samuel_22 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 That email doesn't mean anything, you broke up 3 times already and you're at a better place. You're happy so keep NC. It has nothing to do with being rude if you didnt respond, I think her reaching out the way she did is rude because she gave you some bs excuse to contact you. Unless she's clear and stops playing these games don't respond. Everything you need has been said, here! but I think even if she stopped playing these games, you shouldn't go back to this guy, just saying...unless you miss another break up for the fourth time? I am not willing to give my ex a second chance, let alone 3rd or 4th... it is not gonna work, simple as that... 2
lauri Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I'm assuming she broke up with you every time ? This is why I always say once something is over its over forever. A girl loses interest and it is almost impossible to get her to fall in love with you again. She will keep you around until "something better" comes along. Or maybe she will stay this time, but "settle", and not be happy with you. Which means she won't even try to please you or keep you happy. Do you want to be someone's plan B or C? Of course not. You want to be someones Plan A. Look man, you already know what your gut is telling you. It's to delete that email and forget her man. Things will never be the same...you should know this from experience of going through it 3x with her. 2
frigginlost Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 It's been a year... If you think it would bother you to contact her, then don't. If it makes no difference, then do. It's been a year... Not every person that dumps someone needs to be banished to the gates of hell forever. It's been a year... 1
organizedchaos Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 i didnt see it coming. Never in a million years did i think i would hear from my ex again, but it happened. Its been a year NC, the longest we've ever went without speaking. Im still sorta in shock, as i recieved the email this morning and have been contemplating what to do about it ever since. She wanted to know if ive been calling her from an unknown number and trying to reach her because she thought she heard my voice. I dont believe her on account of having known her for 3+ years and this is just her way of reaching out. Weve broken up exactly 3 times and everytime she broke it off and came back, there was always some lame excuse involved in why she needed to text/call/email me after months of not speaking. We always got back together after that. Im not sure how to respond or whether i should even respond for that matter. I know im happy. It took me quite a while to get to this point in my life. I also know i love her, but im not even sure what that means anymore. For the first time ever, i cant picture myself with her..happy with her. When i try to imagine it in my head it feels almost like im embracing a stranger..kissing a stranger, loving a stranger. And that made me realise that i love her, but i think ive fallen out of love with her, if that makes sense. Im not sure. I hold no resentments toward her so if i ignored her, would it come across as me holding a grudge? I mean, i dont particulary feel a need to respond, but i also dont feel right just ignoring her. The break up was civil, she wanted out, as we were both unhappy and fighting all the time and i respected her decision. I then broke no contact after 3 months and basically poured my heart out to her and her response was that she would always love me, wished me all the best and life but that she needed space. I respected that and went full nc. And here we are a year later.. It's so simple dude. "Nope, wasn't me." You answered her question and not leaving the door open for further communication. So if she responds back, you can ignore. 3
marco1ca Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 It's so simple dude. "Nope, wasn't me." You answered her question and not leaving the door open for further communication. So if she responds back, you can ignore. Exactly what I was going to say, and no more 1
bluefeather Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 It's so simple dude. "Nope, wasn't me." You answered her question and not leaving the door open for further communication. So if she responds back, you can ignore. Or better yet... "LOLOLOLOL.... Hell No." Then block email. haha jk... or am I? 1
Christos Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Well, seems everytime she finds someone else, "better" than you, and when things don't work out she comes back. If you want to be a back up plan, then go ahead... The sad thing about this situation, is that she will never see you as a Plan A, even if you do improve your situation, even if you are better as a person. It is a subconcious thing for women. Deep inside, they feel that if you keep accepting being a doormat to her, then you are of lower value and she does you a favour. Thus, she doesn't respect you. And if you keep accepting her back, she never will. For some women, it isn't even subconcious. They actually think it that way. It is sad, but the only way to earn her respect, and thus turn her into a decent spouse for you, is to never accept her back... In other words, it will never work in this lifetime, so go on with yourlife. 2
Author HowMightI-live Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 I'm assuming she broke up with you every time ? This is why I always say once something is over its over forever. A girl loses interest and it is almost impossible to get her to fall in love with you again. She will keep you around until "something better" comes along. Or maybe she will stay this time, but "settle", and not be happy with you. Which means she won't even try to please you or keep you happy. Do you want to be someone's plan B or C? Of course not. You want to be someones Plan A. Look man, you already know what your gut is telling you. It's to delete that email and forget her man. Things will never be the same...you should know this from experience of going through it 3x with her. Yup, dumped everytime. Once in highschool. The second breakup lasted 3 months before she came back and the third was this last time. I agree. Not trying to go through this again, im done.
Author HowMightI-live Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 That email doesn't mean anything, you broke up 3 times already and you're at a better place. You're happy so keep NC. It has nothing to do with being rude if you didnt respond, I think her reaching out the way she did is rude because she gave you some bs excuse to contact you. Unless she's clear and stops playing these games don't respond. Advice taken, thanks.
Author HowMightI-live Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Well, seems everytime she finds someone else, "better" than you, and when things don't work out she comes back. If you want to be a back up plan, then go ahead... The sad thing about this situation, is that she will never see you as a Plan A, even if you do improve your situation, even if you are better as a person. It is a subconcious thing for women. Deep inside, they feel that if you keep accepting being a doormat to her, then you are of lower value and she does you a favour. Thus, she doesn't respect you. And if you keep accepting her back, she never will. For some women, it isn't even subconcious. They actually think it that way. It is sad, but the only way to earn her respect, and thus turn her into a decent spouse for you, is to never accept her back... In other words, it will never work in this lifetime, so go on with yourlife. Hm, somwhat agree. Im a woman myself and dont think this way. Also, there was no "someone else" Nor was there a reason to suspect so. There was no late night calls/texts at night. No mystery dissapearing, no coming home late, nothing weird on her social media. No signs. Even after we first broke up, we had mutual friends who even told me she wasnt seeing anyone. She could be seeing someone now, which is fine. But just because someone dumps you, that doesnt automatically mean its because they found someone else and theyre a horrible person. Everything isnt black and white. Ive personally been on the other side of that and i can honestly say ive never dumped someone because there was someone else. i know it happens, but not all circumstances are the same. Sometimes people just dump other people because theyre not happy anymore. Which is why the breakup was civil, because she communicated that and i wasnt hapy either. I agree though that its time to go on with my life, which i plan to do.
Author HowMightI-live Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 It's so simple dude. "Nope, wasn't me." You answered her question and not leaving the door open for further communication. So if she responds back, you can ignore. I think i'll just ignore all together, she'll get the point, right?
organizedchaos Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I think i'll just ignore all together, she'll get the point, right? No harm in that either. I mean, it's been a year! 1
Chi townD Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Yeah, and that's a pretty crappy breadcrumb. "Hey, have you been stalking me from an unlisted number?" Like, really?!?! Get over yourself. 4
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