acuriousman99 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Just had to end my first relationship and I have no clue what's going on. Went on for about 1.5 months. I inform her that I'd like to talk at a local cafe and she agrees to meet. I tell her I'd like to break up and she asks me why. She SPECIFICALLY asked me to be honest. Which I was going to be anyway, but just making that clear. I told her that she was becoming boring and throughout the relationship there were a lot of things I grew to dislike about her. Her lack of attention in maintaining her hair, her constant talking about insipid things that had NOTHING to do with either of us, and how she would constantly order my food for me and get it wrong. Those were the main reasons, but there were more. You get the idea. Anyway, she LOSES HER DAMN MIND! Starts spouting off this nonsense and does it pubically. Very aggressively talking down to me and tells me that I'm wrong. She's making a spectacle and everybody is watching. I immediately ran outside and left the cafe. I'd never seen anything like that in my ENTIRE LIFE. I grabbed a cab and blocked her from texting and calling me right there. I'm terrified of what she'll do next. Her face was magma red and it was very disturbing. This is nothing like the break ups I've seen online or on TV, this was far from that. When should the police get involved? Should I warn her first or just contact them now?
Jules Dash Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Boy, you really have to work on your breakup skills. Letting them down easily is the rule of thumb. 1
losangelena Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I'm terrified of what she'll do next. Her face was magma red and it was very disturbing. This is nothing like the break ups I've seen online or on TV, this was far from that. When should the police get involved? Should I warn her first or just contact them now? You're joking, right? To me it sounds like she was hurt; pro-tip, when people ask for honesty in these types of situations, they either don't mean it or are expecting a kind of softer blow. For you to go full bore and tell her you thought she was boring and insipid probably caught her off guard. She felt humiliated, and lashing out was her natural reaction. Granted, not a GREAT reaction, but I can't quite believe you didn't think she'd get just a bit upset over what you told her. You can't get the police involved unless she actually does something. I really doubt you'll have to worry about it. 2
J21 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Even though you were specifically asked, you were being too extra with all that honesty. Being honest does not mean you have to go sh*t on them. It was 1.5 months for pete's sake, why the hell does the reason even matter? Why even open that door? Just keep it simple and call it a day. Could've just said "It's working out. The chemistry between us is what I'd thought it'd be". 1
Author acuriousman99 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Posted September 5, 2015 You can't get the police involved unless she actually does something. I really doubt you'll have to worry about it. You really had to be there to understand how mortifying it was. I'm not talking about her raising her voice slightly, I'm talking about her straight up SHOUTING in a public space. All directed towards me. There was some sort of hatred in her eyes. I'm genuinely afraid of what she'll do, that's why I'm considering the police in the first place.
katiegrl Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Just had to end my first relationship and I have no clue what's going on. Went on for about 1.5 months. I inform her that I'd like to talk at a local cafe and she agrees to meet. I tell her I'd like to break up and she asks me why. She SPECIFICALLY asked me to be honest. Which I was going to be anyway, but just making that clear. I told her that she was becoming boring and throughout the relationship there were a lot of things I grew to dislike about her. Her lack of attention in maintaining her hair, her constant talking about insipid things that had NOTHING to do with either of us, and how she would constantly order my food for me and get it wrong. Those were the main reasons, but there were more. You get the idea. Anyway, she LOSES HER DAMN MIND! Starts spouting off this nonsense and does it pubically. Very aggressively talking down to me and tells me that I'm wrong. She's making a spectacle and everybody is watching. I immediately ran outside and left the cafe. I'd never seen anything like that in my ENTIRE LIFE. I grabbed a cab and blocked her from texting and calling me right there. I'm terrified of what she'll do next. Her face was magma red and it was very disturbing. This is nothing like the break ups I've seen online or on TV, this was far from that. When should the police get involved? Should I warn her first or just contact them now? >>>"This is nothing like the break ups I've seen on TV."<<< LOL ....you need to start watching more TV, cause given everything you told her, her reaction was fairly typical TV drama. Anyhoo ....agree with the others ....next time exercise some discretion when breaking up with a girl. She said she wanted you to be honest, but she REALLY did not want you to be. Sad truth. And what's up with one of your reasons being she did not maintain her hair? Gotta admit, that's a first on here....
katiegrl Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 You really had to be there to understand how mortifying it was. I'm not talking about her raising her voice slightly, I'm talking about her straight up SHOUTING in a public space. All directed towards me. There was some sort of hatred in her eyes. I'm genuinely afraid of what she'll do, that's why I'm considering the police in the first place. Well yeah she could hate you *that* much....so be careful. Call the police, tell them you broke up with a girl and she went psycho on you. Get a restraining order if necessary!! Lol, in all seriousness, I wouldn't worry about it. She's young, emotional, and was no doubt shocked at how blunt you were. She'll get over it.....if not, deal with it then. By the way, get used to this. There are many women (girls) out there who can't handle their emotions and WILL freak out on you from time to time. Par for the course. That is why when you break up, you are "gentle."
losangelena Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 You really had to be there to understand how mortifying it was. I'm not talking about her raising her voice slightly, I'm talking about her straight up SHOUTING in a public space. All directed towards me. There was some sort of hatred in her eyes. I'm genuinely afraid of what she'll do, that's why I'm considering the police in the first place. I would probably look at you that way too, if you told me what you told her. She'll cool down and get over it, and probably be thankful you didn't take more time out of her life. Dude, the police are not going to do anything for you just because you cause a girl to yell at you while breaking up with her. If she stalks you or tries to attack you, then you have a reason to go to the police. Otherwise, they'll laugh you out of the station. You need to have a credible reason to go to them beyond, "my ex gave me a really scary look." 4
casey.lives Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 why didn't you just say something like: we want different things. It really does come down to the fact that you have different values.. stick with the classics, if you want a classic result.. ie t.v fake land
Gary S Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Does she have access to a gun?! Seriously, that's why it's not a good idea to reject a person outright, they might reject you back.......he who rejects first and gets away with it feels better about the whole deal. So cut contact or tell them you met somebody for best results.
katiegrl Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Does she have access to a gun?! Seriously, that's why it's not a good idea to reject a person outright, they might reject you back.......he who rejects first and gets away with it feels better about the whole deal. So cut contact or tell them you met somebody for best results. Gary, when you get rejected, there is no such thing as *rejecting back.* Like when you get fired from a job, you can't turn around and say "I quit"! Well you can, but it has ZERO validity because you ALREADY got fired!
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 (edited) Good grief. How old are you, OP? You are seriously afraid of this girl? Come on. Don't waste police resources. They are not going to arrest her for shouting and making you feel embarrassed. You need tougher skin, dude. And next time, learn how to be tactful when you break it off. Edited September 5, 2015 by ExpatInItaly
Author acuriousman99 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Posted September 5, 2015 Good grief. How old are you, OP? You are seriously afraid of this girl? Come on. Don't waste police resources. They are not going to arrest her for shouting and making you feel embarrassed. You need tougher skin, dude. And next time, learn how to be tactful when you break it off. I am 31. I'm not considering contacting the police for the shouting, I'm considering contacting them because of what she'll do AFTER. I always read about how crimes of passion happen. I wish I remembered that before getting into a relationship.
losangelena Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I am 31. I'm not considering contacting the police for the shouting, I'm considering contacting them because of what she'll do AFTER. I always read about how crimes of passion happen. I wish I remembered that before getting into a relationship. Dude, that's not exactly how the police work. I mean, I guess you COULD go to them and say, "I'm afraid of what my ex will do," but they typically need to have a bit more to go on. Threatening phone calls or texts or emails, for instance. Or if she's had a history of physical violence, etc. Otherwise, they will probably tell you to come back if you do hear from her. You dated for a month and a half. Does she know where you live? Do you have small pets she could potentially boil on the stove? 1
katiegrl Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Dude, that's not exactly how the police work. I mean, I guess you COULD go to them and say, "I'm afraid of what my ex will do," but they typically need to have a bit more to go on. Threatening phone calls or texts or emails, for instance. Or if she's had a history of physical violence, etc. Otherwise, they will probably tell you to come back if you do hear from her. You dated for a month and a half. Does she know where you live? Do you have small pets she could potentially boil on the stove? LOL, sorry for laughing but this thread is getting funny now. OP, how long ago did this happen? Has she contacted you since then, any weird phone calls or anything? Me thinks you are allowing your imagination to get the best of you. Relax, go for a run! That always helps me calm down.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I am 31. I'm not considering contacting the police for the shouting, I'm considering contacting them because of what she'll do AFTER. I always read about how crimes of passion happen. I wish I remembered that before getting into a relationship. ...and they definitely aren't going to arrest her for a crime she hasn't yet committed. Based on your complaint that she shouted at you. It's ironic that in different threads you state that you are not physically attractive and that you have a hard time dating and making friends because of this - and yet one of the reasons you cited for breaking up with her is that she doesn't style her hair correctly. How do you reconcile these two points?
katiegrl Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I am 31. I'm not considering contacting the police for the shouting, I'm considering contacting them because of what she'll do AFTER. I always read about how crimes of passion happen. I wish I remembered that before getting into a relationship. You are 31? You posted on March 15th of this year you are early to mid-20s. And also what Expat said about a different thread, and wanting so much to find a girl who likes you and accepts you....despite how "hideous" looking you are (your words). So you find her, but then reject her cause she doesn't wear her hair right and bores you? I'm confused now.... 2
Gary S Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 While I don't think this little girl is going to do anything serious to the guy (but you never know, I have to say that), this is not a joke.....many men are victims of stalking and spousal abuse also. Keep in mind a woman can easily kill a man with weapons and the element of surprise. It's not really a laughing matter. I had a woman who had never been to my house, nor was she invited, drive to my home, and run around front and back yards, yelling my name and banging on all the windows and doors. Because it was a surprise and that had never happened to me before, I was shocked and scared. Things like this do happen to men.
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I'm not sure why you would be so up in arms unless she made some kind of threat towards you? Just an FYI... relationships get far more complicated than messy hair, wrong food orders, and insipid conversation. You obviously aren't prepared to make a real relationship work, so maybe it's better you cut her loose now and she didn't waste anymore time investing in a shallow relationship.
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I am 31. I'm not considering contacting the police for the shouting, I'm considering contacting them because of what she'll do AFTER. I always read about how crimes of passion happen. I wish I remembered that before getting into a relationship. The police are going to laugh at you. They won't consider it unless you present proof that she has threatened to kill you or make death threats or physically assault you. For now it's just a case of an upset girl.
PogoStick Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Is this the Minority Report? You're going to report her for a crime she has not committed? Good luck!
organizedchaos Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I am 31. I'm not considering contacting the police for the shouting, I'm considering contacting them because of what she'll do AFTER. I always read about how crimes of passion happen. I wish I remembered that before getting into a relationship. You still haven't addressed how poorly you handled this too. WHY would you say those things to her? Even tho she said to be honest. Who does that to someone? 1
lana-banana Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 ***PSA PSA PSA*** Violence is not okay, regardless of sex; I cannot and woild not ever condone violence***PSA PSA PSA*** If a man dragged me to a restaurant to tell me I was boring, insipid and ugly, I would power clean him into a wall. Jesus Christ. If you are so lacking in compassion as to think that's an appropriate thing to say to anyone with whom you shared a romantic connection, you have no business dating at all.
katiegrl Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 LOL, sorry for laughing but this thread is getting funny now. OP, how long ago did this happen? Has she contacted you since then, any weird phone calls or anything? Me thinks you are allowing your imagination to get the best of you. Relax, go for a run! That always helps me calm down. Ooops quoted wrong post!
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