Itspointless Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Thankyou for your help I appreciate it a lot. But if you don't mind me asking what do you mean by do not give up easily without becoming a stalker? And if I said flowers what should the note say? Without coming off desperate or putting the guilt trip on her Well perhaps I am saying things others would not agree with, but whatever right? Do not give up with the first no or with less than a very enthusiastic reaction, but know when to stop. Perhaps you can write something like, I saw these beautiful flowers and though of you. I hope you like them as much as I do. Love Jake.
Author Jake0516 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Posted September 5, 2015 Well perhaps I am saying things others would not agree with, but whatever right? Do not give up with the first no or with less than a very enthusiastic reaction, but know when to stop. Perhaps you can write something like, I saw these beautiful flowers and though of you. I hope you like them as much as I do. Love Jake. But should I give her space before I do any of that? Like where should I start because she told me last night she doesn't want a relationship because I caused it to be like this. And if she always has plans when am I suppose to do this? And should I tell her that there will be something at her house for her or should I have a floral company deliver them?
Author Jake0516 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Posted September 5, 2015 Because earlier you said do not text her so what do I do?
Itspointless Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 But should I give her space before I do any of that? Like where should I start because she told me last night she doesn't want a relationship because I caused it to be like this. And if she always has plans when am I suppose to do this? And should I tell her that there will be something at her house for her or should I have a floral company deliver them? There isn't really a recipe Jake. You should do what feels right for you to do. I personally wouldn't tell in advance such a thing. I don't know her, so I also do not know what she perceives as convincing or romantic. Most women like getting flowers though.
Itspointless Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 (edited) Because earlier you said do not text her so what do I do? Personal contact is always best. Second best is hearing your voice. Edit: wth the earlier comment I was talking about day to day contact. Edited September 5, 2015 by Itspointless
theredpill Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 I think gifts are a bribe, she didn't like you for gifts, just you - I definitely wouldn't do this, millionaires get divorced all the time, so trinkets don't really matter. The personal touch is better, I'd agree but you need to state what you want and let HER reach out to you, only then will she be ready. Trust me, it's extremely rare to be able to changes someone's feelings, you can only influence the situation. Just my 2p but what do I know, I did the same thing to my girl 1
Author Jake0516 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Posted September 5, 2015 (edited) Personal contact is always best. Second best is hearing your voice. Edit: wth the earlier comment I was talking about day to day contact. Is there a way I can contact you privately on this site cause something happened and its confidential Edited September 5, 2015 by Jake0516 Typo
Itspointless Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Is there a way I can contact you privately on this site cause something happened and its confidential Sorry, not yet. Members get the possibility the private message after a certain time and a certain amount of posts. Be assured I am not a love doctor, I wish I was though. Follow your gut with this women, that also means stopping if needed. theredpill his advice was just as good as mine.
Author Jake0516 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Sorry, not yet. Members get the possibility the private message after a certain time and a certain amount of posts. Be assured I am not a love doctor, I wish I was though. Follow your gut with this women, that also means stopping if needed. theredpill his advice was just as good as mine. Well her best friend just passed away so I'm trying to be there for her
Itspointless Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) Well her best friend just passed away so I'm trying to be there for her That is very painful. It is good to offer your support and be there in the form she wants you to be. Better not do anything besides this as mentioned before. Do not expect her to be over this soon. In a way it is a chance for you to prove you really are there for her, not only now but whenever she needs you. Edited September 6, 2015 by Itspointless
Author Jake0516 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 That is very painful. It is good to offer your support and be there in the form she wants you to be. Better not do anything besides this as mentioned before. Do not expect her to be over this soon. In a way it is a chance for you to prove you really are there for her, not only now but whenever she needs you. Thankyou again for your help means a lot 1
theredpill Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Unfortunately I'm no love doctor either itspointless, appreciate the compliment though Perhaps I can add a little here, although from a male perspective only as I lost my best mate 5 years ago last Dec 1st, if like me she will and also won't need need comfort right now, so she can deal with it her own way, the best approach my friends took that really helped was by saying "I have no words but I'm here for you if you need me". This allowed me to reach out to them, rather than as you can imagine some people trying to hard... which is only natural when one of their friends is hurting - found this was quite hard to deal with, kinda wanted to speak to the people close to me who offered help if I need it rather than the others offering unsolicited advice. Maybe some of the fairer sex can provide a little more perspective, women have a fantastic support network in most cases to deal with emotional issues, sometimes they also want a man's shoulders to cry on - I'd take note of what the ladies say first. Sorry to hear your girl is going through this and like my friends said I have no words to make it better.
Author Jake0516 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Unfortunately I'm no love doctor either itspointless, appreciate the compliment though Perhaps I can add a little here, although from a male perspective only as I lost my best mate 5 years ago last Dec 1st, if like me she will and also won't need need comfort right now, so she can deal with it her own way, the best approach my friends took that really helped was by saying "I have no words but I'm here for you if you need me". This allowed me to reach out to them, rather than as you can imagine some people trying to hard... which is only natural when one of their friends is hurting - found this was quite hard to deal with, kinda wanted to speak to the people close to me who offered help if I need it rather than the others offering unsolicited advice. Maybe some of the fairer sex can provide a little more perspective, women have a fantastic support network in most cases to deal with emotional issues, sometimes they also want a man's shoulders to cry on - I'd take note of what the ladies say first. Sorry to hear your girl is going through this and like my friends said I have no words to make it better. I appreciate this. I appreciate any help I can get because like we aren't together but she still reached out to me when she found out. I've been trying to keep her calm and talk about other subjects because idk what else to do. Just told her I'm here for her and if she needs to vent to anyone just give me a text or call. But other than that I can't really do much because everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Just trying to talk about different things and keep the convo going so she doesn't feel like she's by herself. Like I said though Thankyou for your help and taking your time to reply to everything
Itspointless Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 I appreciate this. I appreciate any help I can get because like we aren't together but she still reached out to me when she found out. I've been trying to keep her calm and talk about other subjects because idk what else to do. Just told her I'm here for her and if she needs to vent to anyone just give me a text or call. But other than that I can't really do much because everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Just trying to talk about different things and keep the convo going so she doesn't feel like she's by herself. Like I said though Thankyou for your help and taking your time to reply to everything Sounds like you are a good man Jake. I agree with the previous poster, having lost people close to me myself. Just remember grieving is not something linear, grief can come or come back even years later.
Author Jake0516 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Sounds like you are a good man Jake. I agree with the previous poster, having lost people close to me myself. Just remember grieving is not something linear, grief can come or come back even years later. Thankyou that means a lot lol and yeah I understand that but I'm planning on staying around so if it does come back again I'll be here. But still gotta try to work things out with her so she can take me back and I guess this is step one on getting back on her good side
Itspointless Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Thankyou that means a lot lol and yeah I understand that but I'm planning on staying around so if it does come back again I'll be here. But still gotta try to work things out with her so she can take me back and I guess this is step one on getting back on her good side Just do not do this expecting a reward. But I think you are not doing it for that, which is good.
Author Jake0516 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Just do not do this expecting a reward. But I think you are not doing it for that, which is good. Yeah just gotta go with the flow for now
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