Jump to content

Salvaging after NC?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hi everyone. I met this girl during the last few weeks of the Spring semester, and we went on a date, but then we lost contact over the summer. I felt like I was annoying her, and not seeing her in person was tough. So a few weeks into summer I stopped messaging her and we haven't talked since. We did talk about meeting up after summer, she suggested it actually.

 

Also, for what it's worth, she unfriended her ex on FB. (her ex lives where she was going for the summer). I think they got back together during summer, based on FB posts and twitter posts, but now they are unfriended eachother.

 

Now she also posts stuff like "lost in this world" and stuff.

 

Should I try to approach her somehow, even after 3 months of NC? If so, what should I say? i was thinking of just sending her a random meme. then she'd be like "...?" then I'd be like"it made me think of you". then shed be like "ok...?" then Id say "wanna catch up?".

 

or should I do a more straightforward "Hi [girls name]! It's been forever! Hows it going"

 

I also don't want her to think I was obsessing about her the whole summer, so maybe something like "Hi [girls name]! I still have a little crush on your lol so if you want to hang out sometime, let me know!" or "... so id like to take you out sometime again".

 

any ideas? thanks.

  • Author
Posted

i actually got in a really bad accident, and i have some horrific pictures of my car. should i say "oh im probably not gonna be able to do that second cuz i f*cked my car" then send the car pic. then if she wants to get together shed say "oh no :( i wanted to see you again" or she coudl say "sorry to see that, hope your ok" so then she could more easily reject me (i think she feels bad about rejecting peple)

Posted

Just keep it simple, open, but display your intent.

 

Go with "Hi [girl's name]. It's been a while. Would love to catch up with you. When are you free to chat?"

 

If she doesn't respond within 24 hours, forget her and move on.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

any way i could add some humor to that?

Posted

the second option is best, IMO. Hi it's been forever. How's it going? You could add humor but it's not necessary. When she texts back then you can be funny about stuff you have in common from past. If it's just plain (like I bolded and you were planning to say), it seems very genuine and mature in a good way. I love the humor but if you combine with first message, it says you are not confident to just open the door back up with her and that you have to mask with humor. And it possibly sends message that you are just passing time, friends with her, whatever--the message gets muddled. Plain and straightforward, shows you care.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
the second option is best, IMO. Hi it's been forever. How's it going? You could add humor but it's not necessary. When she texts back then you can be funny about stuff you have in common from past. If it's just plain (like I bolded and you were planning to say), it seems very genuine and mature in a good way. I love the humor but if you combine with first message, it says you are not confident to just open the door back up with her and that you have to mask with humor. And it possibly sends message that you are just passing time, friends with her, whatever--the message gets muddled. Plain and straightforward, shows you care.

 

So how's this:

 

"Hey lol it's been so long! What's new with you?"

 

Is it "mature" enough? I also want it to be light, carefree, and playful. I think I may have come on a bit too strong before with her....

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

also I did wreck my shiny red sports car...should I keep it a secret (and pray that insurance buys me a new car before we hopefully meet up), tell her to get sympathy ("oh no :( are you ok?"), or make a joke somehow?

  • Author
Posted

were both 20 and in college, fyi

Posted
Just keep it simple, open, but display your intent.

 

Go with "Hi [girl's name]. It's been a while. Would love to catch up with you. When are you free to chat?"

 

If she doesn't respond within 24 hours, forget her and move on.

 

This. No need to fixate on your car, or this person, until you have a sense that she's welcoming your advance.

Posted

You're way overthinking this. Just be yourself and contact her.

Posted
also I did wreck my shiny red sports car...should I keep it a secret (and pray that insurance buys me a new car before we hopefully meet up), tell her to get sympathy ("oh no :( are you ok?"), or make a joke somehow?

 

Neither. If she engages in conversation with you, then I'm sure it will come up toward the beginning of your conversation. Bringing up upfront presumes both you care (and she cares!!) way more about a car than a person. Just be honest.. If she likes you for more than you shiny red car, there is no need to worry about getting a new car before you see her. It will happen soon enough. And you don't need the sympathy either. Don't lead with your car, your money or possessions--the bottomline assumption in doing that is whatever YOU are is not enough. Trust that it is. Having a nice car is a bonus IF you already like a guy. Bragging about it or making it part of your worth is silly and lame.

 

ps why is that your screen name? Come on, is it for what I think it is? You are better than that. If she's a worthwhile girl, she's not going to be into a guy who is druggy. Just sayn.

Posted

Only one in 1,000 LDR's work out.

Posted
So how's this:

 

"Hey lol it's been so long! What's new with you?"

 

Is it "mature" enough? I also want it to be light, carefree, and playful. I think I may have come on a bit too strong before with her....

 

What's with the lol? Take that out, it doesn't belong.

 

Other than that, sounds good.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
Only one in 1,000 LDR's work out.

 

yeah i agree...but like we were forced into an LDR and neither of us did anything to keep the LDR so thats how it ended as NC.

 

what would you have done if a girl approached you but then you had to be away from eachother for a while? what would you do in my situation? thabnks man.

  • Author
Posted

serious question - should I throw in a typo so she doesn't think I spent too long thinking about what to tell her?

Posted
serious question - should I throw in a typo so she doesn't think I spent too long thinking about what to tell her?

 

You are over-thinking now..... but no do not throw in typo.

 

She will either think you are dumb or lazy.... not the impression you want to make when trying to attract a girl.

  • Like 1
Posted

Dude, you are seriously over-thinking this whole thing. If you manage to actually get a face-to-face date with her, she will see how obsessed you are about inconsequential things. She might think you lack confidence. Just relax, send a simple message, and do not mention your car, or throw in "lol". Otherwise she'll think you focus on material objects to validate yourself, and find you immature too.

×
×
  • Create New...