Mary3 Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 I have come to the conclusion that many men do not want love or a relationship but rather just simple sex , with no strings attached , period. My question is : Men do you ever want someone to love you ? Do you need or desire to be loved ? Is simple sex all you really want ? I ask this question because it seems more and more men do not want a relationship. I know there are men that Do but I am asking the men here ? Do you want a loving relationship ? If no, then can you explain the no strings sex ?
Jtizzle Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 i think men dont know when real love presents itself..i think they get caught up in the whole oh shell do anything for me, so she love me, but then the chick is just being nice and doesnt really love them...but when a good woman comes along and pours her heart out to him, he doesnt know how to accept it, cuz of the way the other girl he THOUGHT loved him..so i think they just be like oh all i want is the bush..ion kno thats just what i think...well i could write a whole novel of what i think on this subject, but ill just leave one thought at a time.. but im highly curious as to if a man wants to be loved too....
John Charles Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 yes. the sappy, poetic, nice guys that all the ladies make friends with but never date. I was once him. but then turned into the "jerk" and got way more girls in the hunt. i say its women's fault they communicatethe wrong message, that they want a relationship, but if a guy acts nice, does romantic things, then he's friend material not relationship material. but dont worry you can go both ways and believe in true love, you might just go through fewer people than i will, but hopefully theres a happy ending for both of us (some guys retain the nice guy and if your worth it or lucky then maybe you'll get to see it)
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 My question is : Men do you ever want someone to love you ? Do you need or desire to be loved ? Is simple sex all you really want ? let me explain this for your sake MARY3. Men do want and actually need love. But we also need sex. Men can disassociate sex and love very easily. Women cannot most of the time. We want love AND sex from the right woman (who is quite elusive BTW!). From all other women we just want sex. Do u understand now? It is actually quite simple.
whichwayisup Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Men are sexually charged. It's just there. Waiting... As long as you take Alpha's logic, which btw is SO TRUE - just know that MOST men really do want one woman. Alpha's theory makes sense here...The distinction between LOVE sex and F**k'ng sex are two different things. In marriage, they turn into one. Which is why men have to have enough sex in the marriage so they feel loved. (OK, I'm not saying ALL men, but most men...) There are posts galore about how unloved various men feel as their wives aren't putting out enough and it's rare. It is simple. Men can have sex for pure pleasure (think with head between their legs...) they can have sex with alot of love to, when thinking with BOTH heads...
RecordProducer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 My question is : Men do you ever want someone to love you ? Do you need or desire to be loved ? Is simple sex all you really want ? Okay, you don't have to be much smarter than a monkey to figure out that you love someone who only wants sex from you. Or maybe you just meet guys who don't want anything else from you so you can't get attached either. My question for you, Mary is: do YOU ever want someone to love you? Do you need or desire to be loved? Or will you always hold on to guys who only want you for sex? If you see that they don't love you, move on. Every woman should have so much self-respect and love for herself to NOT let herself fall for guys who don't love her. You should be a "lady" enough to say "No." The right guy will run after you. All the others will be eliminated. If a relationship doesn't start as romantic as you want it to be, don't let him use you for sex and hurt you. You can only let guys who YOU want to use for sex use you. Don't forget there is only ONE guy who will be the right one for you. You don't need guys.
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Every woman should have so much self-respect and love for herself to NOT let herself fall for guys who don't love her. The should but most do not in the real world. The right guy will run after you. in reality R.P., women like to run after the guy they are interested in. You can only let guys who YOU want to use for sex use you. true R.P., but many women fall in love with the guy the are screwing. Don't forget there is only ONE guy who will be the right one for you. total bullkrap. at any point in time there are multiple suitable matches for any one person. you hook up with the one you happen to run into at that time.
Nicholas Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 I am asking the men here ? Do you want a loving relationship ?No. It's too much work, I just don't feel like it.
RecordProducer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale in reality R.P., women like to run after the guy they are interested in. total bullkrap. at any point in time there are multiple suitable matches for any one person. you hook up with the one you happen to run into at that time. You don't know what women like, you have a dick... or so I heard! Yeeeeee, multiple suitable matches for any MALE at any time! You're like kids who want all the toys in the store, and when you buy them a few, they play with them for one day and then they break them or forget about them. What I meant was she will meet many men and have more or less casual relationships with some of them, but when she meets the right one, he will marry her. The Right one is not the right one for one intercouse or two drinks.
Author Mary3 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 But what if you give them what you think they want : passionate lovemaking, availability to them ,, devotion , admiration , exctiing adventures, good meals , communication , and you put them first ....only to find all of that was not enough but you will be fine for them if you give them great sex and then they look at the watch and say " Wow is it 8:30 already and I really need to go : and then you wonder if they will call again...sigh.... Its not pretty , Its not nice but it has probrobly happend to alot of us where they convinced us we were a queen for the night and then they suddenly become MIA ( Missing in Action ) and you KNOW that if you dont hear from them in 5 days they prolly werent interested in anything beyond that. Where in the world do you find men who want what you want and not just have you as a depository for their DNA ?
catnip Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Phfttt....who cares about what men want. Start thinking about what YOU want, Mary3......look at it from this different angle, and I guarantee you will find the love you are searching for.
Auz Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Ok this will shock most of you..Im a guy and for me the physical side of a relationship is secondary to actually loving the person. I wont go to a club just to pick up chicks for a one night stand. I wont try chat up a girl just so i can get in her pants. Its just not my style. Dont get me wrong, I have just as many hormones as the next guy, and get just as horny - but im not going to be just a biological machine. I went out with my last gf for 1.5 years - we only got physical 1.5 months after we started going out, and we were really good friends for a few months before that. Why? Because for me the physical side is just a bonus. Im not going to take a girl just because shes easy, and by the same token I dont want a girl that wants me just for the one night. I have standards, which arent worth giving up for an hour of pleasure. I look at some of my friends who go out every friday night to pick up. If I invite them to a party, they will only go if there is a chance to pick up. If I tell them there isnt, chances are they will stay home. For them the pull of the hormones controls their social life, and in a way I pity them. So yes, I do want a loving relationship. I want the sex too, but only if it comes with the first part. I know most other guys are different, but thats their choice. Auz PS It sucks when you treat a nice girl with respect and she still dumps you. And you realise that she'll only regret it when some other guy uses her....but what can you do...
ForsakenSoul Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 I'm one of those sappy, romantic, nice guys. Though this last relationship has done a lot to remove a fair bit of the "nice guy" and instill a lot of the "don't give a **** and you won't get hurt" attitude. I want very much to find someone to love, and to be able to return the love I show her. I want to find someone to sing to, and write poems to. I want to find someone to buy flowers for and open doors for. I want someone like my ex was for the first few months of our relationship, before she went back to her ex husband... I just hope she's out there somewhere. I thought the ex was it, but I guess I was wrong. I enjoy sex immensely, but the thought of having sex without some sort of emotional tie makes me feel kind of weird. Sex with a person you love is absolutely amazing. -FS
tokyo Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Mary3, you sound bitter and that surprises me, because I remember reading some of your posts before and you didn't strike me as a person who has problems with a balanced view on relationships and people. There are a lot of guys outside who will complain that they are too nice and therefore can't find anybody. They may not understand women and therefore get rejected, but I see their need for a partner as real, so not all men are just after sex. And there are so many other men here who got dumped and are desperate to get their partner back, I don't think they just miss the sex. If your impression is that men only want sex, than it might be you who gives them the wrong signals or who doesn't set the borders and conditions of your relationship with them. I assume few guys would lead you on just for sex when you tell them that you are looking for a relationship.
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I assume few guys would lead you on just for sex when you tell them that you are looking for a relationship. I would not be too sure about that stmt KOOKY.
Illusion24 Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 total bullkrap. at any point in time there are multiple suitable matches for any one person. you hook up with the one you happen to run into at that time. Now I can relate to that...If I would have read this a month ago I would have told you..."you're full of shyt"!!
ConfusedInOC Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 I have come to the conclusion that many men do not want love or a relationship but rather just simple sex , with no strings attached , period. My question is : Men do you ever want someone to love you ? Do you need or desire to be loved ? Is simple sex all you really want ? I ask this question because it seems more and more men do not want a relationship. I know there are men that Do but I am asking the men here ? Do you want a loving relationship ? If no, then can you explain the no strings sex ? Hmm, I'm a man and I wanted nothing more than my Ex to love me as much as I loved her. Sex was just a benefit of the companionship (albeit a steamy one). I USED to be all about sex when I was younger. But that's because I was immature. Later in life you realize that sharing a life with the right person enhances the beauty of everything.
tokyo Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I would not be too sure about that stmt KOOKY. Excuse me? Yes, I know, men are pigs, but not that bad.
Illusion24 Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Later in life you realize that sharing a life with the right person enhances the beauty of everything. I want that...
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 I'll take love as long as it leads to sex. Without sex you ain't got much of anything. Bollocks to friendship and "love." I can get that from so-called friends and blood relatives. We can replace "sex" with "intimacy," if it makes you feel any better.
Illusion24 Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 We can replace sex with intimacy, if it makes you feel any better. Please do...
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 The ancient Greeks had two words for love: eros and agape. One was sexual in nature while the other was brotherly. I want agape from friends and family. From a woman I'd want, well, guess...
ConfusedInOC Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 But what if you give them what you think they want : passionate lovemaking, availability to them ,, devotion , admiration , exctiing adventures, good meals , communication , and you put them first ....only to find all of that was not enough but you will be fine for them if you give them great sex and then they look at the watch and say " Wow is it 8:30 already and I really need to go : and then you wonder if they will call again...sigh.... Hmm, I just went through this. I did the same things you did. It's called "They are just not into you..." You're a 'friend with benefits' and they are taking you for granted until something better comes along. It sucks, I know. Its not pretty , Its not nice but it has probrobly happend to alot of us where they convinced us we were a queen for the night and then they suddenly become MIA ( Missing in Action ) and you KNOW that if you dont hear from them in 5 days they prolly werent interested in anything beyond that. Exactly. Where in the world do you find men who want what you want and not just have you as a depository for their DNA ? *waves hand* They are out there. The problem is people tend to see men that want love as "insecure" or "emotional" or whatever the cliche' of the day is. Yes, I learned what not to do anymore. I certainly am going to wait and see if "she's into me" first and proves it. If the reciprocation is there, I'll let her know. I agree with Alpha. My ex played hard to get for a long time. Always "busy" and "unavailable" not because she was trying to be that way or anything, but because she wasn't into me. But when she wanted lovin', she would then all the sudden be interested in spending time with me.
fundamental Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 I have come to the conclusion that many men do not want love or a relationship but rather just simple sex , with no strings attached , period. My question is : Men do you ever want someone to love you ? Do you need or desire to be loved ? Is simple sex all you really want ? I ask this question because it seems more and more men do not want a relationship. I know there are men that Do but I am asking the men here ? Do you want a loving relationship ? If no, then can you explain the no strings sex ? The question should be "Do women want love?" I have yet to find one that truly wants it. They either want to hold on to you emotionally (#1) without a real relationship, or they want sex without a real relationship.
Scott S Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 I know there are men that Do but I am asking the men here ? Do you want a loving relationship ? If no, then can you explain the no strings sex ? Speaking for myself, yes I do want a love relationship. Actually, I have one now. Gina & I recently celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Personally, I have never looked at sex as "no strings attached." For me, it has always been a part of what I considered to be a committed love relationship. _________________________________________ What if people stopped throwing rice at weddings, & threw potatoes instead?
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