JackJackxD Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) This girl and I went to the same primary school, but we only knew of each other's existence around 5 years ago through a gathering hosted by friends. At the start I had a little crush on her on the summer I first met her, but it was nothing major. I eventually found someone in college whom I've dated for almost three years, and broke up last year. I usually only see her during summer, and maybe 3-4 times in total for the rest of the year since we are both busy with our study. This summer I'm single again, and I guess my little crush that I had on her years ago was reignited. Me and her have the same interests, same sense of humour and she has a much better personality with than my Ex. The problem is that I'm very confused as to where we stand right now. For the first time in 5 years, she said that she saw me as a little brother. We were just casually dissing each other. She started off by saying that she has an evil laugh whenever she sees me. I then replied by saying "Wow are you trying to say I'm funny looking or something!?", to which she replied saying "I laugh when I see my family too because I'm happy to see them! *inserts evil emoticon*" (basically trying to pretend to be not dissing me). Then I said "But I'm not your family, so why are you laughing?". She replied saying "I laugh because I see you as my little brother!". I don't know if she genuinely meant it or not. I'm not going to type a huge paragraph, but here are a few more things that makes me really confused. - This summer she keeps trying to get me to go clubbing with her (just me and her). When I asked her to go ask another male mutual friend she said its not the same thing. - We literally talk to each other all the time. This week we've been going out with each other every day, and we texts each other when we get home. - A lot of body contact, she pokes me and pinches me and I do the same. - Before the summer I saw her twice, and first meeting she told me about her having a little crush on some guy. Then like a week after she told me about how she rejected him when the guy pursued her, which was kinda strange. - A few days ago, she took some medicine which had the side effect of making her hyper-active and hard to concentrate. When we went to the cinema together she was literally clinging onto my arm and then bear hugging me out of no where. After the medicine has worn off, she said how she remembered calling me dad or something. - She keeps comparing me with her dad. "Oh you are just like my dad!", "My dad does this too!" - We flirt a lot, like we make fun of each other constantly and we pretend to be angry and wait till the other says "aww I'm joking!". (Haha if that counts as flirting?) - She seemed kinda overly interested in my other female friends, especially my flat mate who I cook with every day. She keeps teasing me about me dating her. - Gets kinda quiet (not sure if upset) when I talk about my Ex. - She told me how she got drunk once and kissed a guy in the club by accident. Then she commented on how she needs to find a boyfriend with thicker lips because the guy's lips are too thin. I don't have giant sausage lips, but my lips are on the thicker side of the lip scale. xD - She wears make up whenever she goes out with me, but says she doesn't wear make-up when she goes out with her sister. - She randomly commented on how she doesn't wear darker lipstick when she sees me. She wears a lot of red lipstick (something that I said I liked before). When I asked her why she doesn't use darker lipstick when she sees me, she says "I don't want you to see me when I'm so sexy" playfully. - Sometimes I tease her about how she has no cleavage, in reply she says "Well yeah, I only show my cleavage to hot guys". - Before when we had a serious phone conversation, she complimented me saying how I'm a good guy. I brushed it off saying "You are just saying that to comfort me" because I got a little bit emotional when we discussed about my failed relationship with my Ex. She then said that she really meant it and rarely compliments people like that. -She keeps saying that she has no crush, and once she said maybe she has an imaginary one. That's about it, I'm really confused right now. Would love to have some opinions from you guys. The conversation above might not be entirely accurate since I translated it from Chinese to English, which doesn't really make as much sense once translated Thanks for your time! Edited September 4, 2015 by JackJackxD
losangelena Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I don't know if she genuinely meant it or not. I'm sorry to say, but yes I think she meant it. Many years ago I made friends with this Venezuelan guy, and he and I started hanging out a lot. I had a crush on him, and I too had a list of things he did that made me *wonder* if he had a crush on me as well. One night we went dancing (which we did often) and as we're leaving, he says, "it's like we are like dancing brothers!" Awwww ... all my attraction for him went right out the window. Generally speaking, any verbal comparisons to family members: - She keeps comparing me with her dad. "Oh you are just like my dad!", "My dad does this too!" Is also a pretty definitive friend zone statement. I mean, my BF reminds me a lot of my dad—they've got a lot of similarities—but I DO NOT ever tell him that. Sorry, OP. I'd say let your feelings for her fade and try and find someone else.
PaperCrane Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I say this time and again. Fortune favors the bold. Next time she touches you, pull her in, and start to go in for a kiss. All your questions are answered in a matter of seconds. As ol' Teddy said (I've posted this before but I love it): “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
d0nnivain Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 When she said she sees you like a little brother, she meant it. She does genuinely like you & wants to spend time with you but not in a romantic way. Sorry.
PaperCrane Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 Not always. One girl told me I reminded her of her older brother, and I said she acted like a little sister. A few weeks later we were together. Just because something is "like something" does not mean it IS something. It is better to go and try for what you want than to not and always regret. Regret from doing always hurts less than regret from not doing when done is honest pursuit of something. 1
fifipheebs Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 No I reckon she may have feelings. I have strong feelings for a male friend of mine and to hide my true feelings i say like he is a brother. What your girl friend says about comparing you to her father is exactly what i also do. As is the showing of compassion to you. I kid you not. She may have feelings that have grown out of a friendship and denying it in case you do not feel the same way. My guy friend calls me his sister and I call him brother to guard my heart.
nickf100 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 If you get friend zoned is it a good or bad idea to put it out there that you like them? With my personality it would be really hard to be friends with someone and not tell them how im feeling.
they Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) If you get friend zoned is it a good or bad idea to put it out there that you like them? With my personality it would be really hard to be friends with someone and not tell them how im feeling. I had a girl call me her brother before falling in love with me. Or perhaps she was in love with me at that point? Is there even such thing as a friend zone? Being honest by telling her you like her could either push her away or bring you both closer together. Worth the risk ? I would say so, but there's no right and wrong answer or that statement I made could be incorrect, I'm just some random dude of the internet. Edited September 8, 2015 by they
LostOnes05 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Dude, you are so far in the friendzone you might as well change your address...all jokes aside, you might as well tell her how you feel. No point in holding it in until she has a boyfriend.
popcornpuff Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 There's only one way to know for sure. Stop analyzing this and just ask her out on a proper date!
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