maxley88 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I've been in no contact for a month now, and my ex-gf still hasnt contacted me. Has she forgotten about me? moved on? should i contact her? Some context. We were together for over a year, we never argued or had fights, we would go on dates, went on holiday together, had frequent sex, laughed together, everything seemed to be going fine, until one day she calls me up in tears and says she doesn't see a future for us and dumps me. I go no contact for a day, and she texts me the next night saying "i've hated not talking to you", "i miss your messages", etc. Anyway, we meet up a few days later to talk. She confirms that she wants to break up with me, and after some emotional discussions she admits that, for the last 2 months, she has been talking to a guy she used to know (from 5 years ago), that had just moved back to the area. So obviously i google "how to get her back", etc, and pretty much all the "experts" say i have to go 'no contact'. So we cut contact for a week, and i head out with my friend for lunch. I post a photo of my food on instagram, then out of the blue i get 5 messages from her saying "who are you with?", "are you on a date?", etc. Now i was a bit surprised by this, considering she practically left me for another guy. But i respond, tell her i'm with my friend. A few days later she texts me saying she has got a place on a course that i had been helping her to get onto. I tell her i'm super happy for her and we have a brief text convo. I then stupidly decided to buy her a congratulations gift, and had it delivered to her house. A week goes by without any contact, then when she receives it in the post she texts me saying she appreciates it and it made her cry, but i shouldn't have bought it for her as it makes it harder for the both of us. This was the last contact that i had with her, almost a month ago. Now i've done my best to move on. I've started a new job, gone back to the gym, i've even started dating a new girl, who seems really cool. The problem is, i think i still love her! And given half the chance, i would do anything to get her back. Will she ever contact me again? Has she totally forgotten about me and replaced me with this other guy? And if i were to break No contact. Whats the best message to send? Sorry for the long post. If you've read all of that, thanks!
MINDSHIFT Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) Your ex seem likes a gameplaying bitch. She insecure in her new relationship and does not want you to fully move on until she does (she shellfish). Hence the back and forth, the silly questions "who are you on a date with". I say you should do you continue to focus on yourself. Would you really want her back after she left you for another guy. The only way she gonna come back to you is if things begin to get rocky with the new fella. She will suddenly call you and say i made a huge mistake your really the guy i love blah blah blah. Right now she in a honeymoon phase with the new guy. **** her continue to achieve in life. Make her regret leaving you, who needs someone like that who anit stable. Edited September 4, 2015 by MINDSHIFT 1
loveforever101 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I'm on the same boat as you my friend. I've been in no contact for a month and a couple weeks I think. She hasn't forgot about you at all. She's just in the honeymoon period and she will probably text you when the relationship starts heading south. By that time you will most likely have moved on and you won't want her back. She sounds exactly like my ex girlfriend and we just have to let people like this go. I'm just hoping she regrets it. 1
Oregon_Dude Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 Yeah I dunno. My ex started being really weird and dumped me over text. I'm not 100% there's a new guy but it seems likely. Like your situation, she hasn't contacted me either. My feeling is that we're both too scared to make the first move - though she's probably getting her holes plugged, so it doesn't matter to her - and this thing will remain a mystery to me, why it ended, until I simply don't care anymore. Unfortunately I'm not there yet. Like you, I wish she would contact me. But it's too late for all that. I feel stupid for still caring, but I do. We had something real there, for a while at least. But at some point, she fell out of love with me, so what are you gonna do. Fact is, I never changed and only supported her. Maybe this got boring? If my consistency got boring, then she needs someone who is gonna treat her like sh*t. Which isn't me. I'm dating but my heart's not in it. It's just more disappointment, comparisons. I don't know what the next couple months are looking like, but I hope I'm able to achieve more peace than I feel now. Stay NC, feel the feelings, create new experiences, try not to dwell on what you could have done. In most of these situations, there's nothing we could have done to "save" the r/s, anyway.
bluefeather Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 Are you serious??? She went to someone else, was probably cheating on you, and you actually want her back? Wtf man... 2
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 NC is not a magic method to get your EX back. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It is a healing tool. She broke up with you but because she's immature she wants her cake & to eat it too. Initially she got off on the power of having you pine after her & when she thought you were having fun with somebody else (thinking your IG photo meant a date) she reacted. She did that in part because she is immature. At this point, she's probably happily ensconced in her new relationship with her old friend. She doesn't think about you as much as you think about her. She's moving on & getting more distant every day. You need to move on too. Wrap your head around the fact that she is not coming back. Even if she did come back, you shouldn't want her. She barely knows her own mind & this pattern of breaking your heart because something new & Shiny caught her eye will continue. 1
Satu Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 You think that you're doing NC, but you're not. 'No contact' means no contact.: *No direct contact in either direction. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.
nadine5 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I've been in no contact for a month now, and my ex-gf still hasnt contacted me. Has she forgotten about me? moved on? should i contact her? Some context. We were together for over a year, we never argued or had fights, we would go on dates, went on holiday together, had frequent sex, laughed together, everything seemed to be going fine, until one day she calls me up in tears and says she doesn't see a future for us and dumps me. I go no contact for a day, and she texts me the next night saying "i've hated not talking to you", "i miss your messages", etc. Anyway, we meet up a few days later to talk. She confirms that she wants to break up with me, and after some emotional discussions she admits that, for the last 2 months, she has been talking to a guy she used to know (from 5 years ago), that had just moved back to the area. So obviously i google "how to get her back", etc, and pretty much all the "experts" say i have to go 'no contact'. So we cut contact for a week, and i head out with my friend for lunch. I post a photo of my food on instagram, then out of the blue i get 5 messages from her saying "who are you with?", "are you on a date?", etc. Now i was a bit surprised by this, considering she practically left me for another guy. But i respond, tell her i'm with my friend. A few days later she texts me saying she has got a place on a course that i had been helping her to get onto. I tell her i'm super happy for her and we have a brief text convo. I then stupidly decided to buy her a congratulations gift, and had it delivered to her house. A week goes by without any contact, then when she receives it in the post she texts me saying she appreciates it and it made her cry, but i shouldn't have bought it for her as it makes it harder for the both of us. This was the last contact that i had with her, almost a month ago. Now i've done my best to move on. I've started a new job, gone back to the gym, i've even started dating a new girl, who seems really cool. The problem is, i think i still love her! And given half the chance, i would do anything to get her back. Will she ever contact me again? Has she totally forgotten about me and replaced me with this other guy? And if i were to break No contact. Whats the best message to send? Sorry for the long post. If you've read all of that, thanks! First of all, congrats on the month of NC. I know it's SO FREAKING HARD. You are a rock. This guy is a rebound. She probably got bored. The second he doesn't pay enough attention to her she's going to call you. And F--- HER for demanding to know who you're on a date with. If I were you I'd go on an ACTUAL DATE and post pictures of you AND your date. Together. Honestly, I truly believe she will come crawling back if you remain on this course of action. (As long as you do not send her any more gifts, for the love of GOD!) ... but I guess it's up to you if you want to rekindle a romance with some a-hole who left you for another guy... and spend your entire relationship wondering if she will do it again.
Author maxley88 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Posted October 6, 2015 She still hasn't contacted me, and i still think about her a lot! Its her birthday on Saturday. Should i message her happy birthday?
bluefeather Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 She still hasn't contacted me, and i still think about her a lot! Its her birthday on Saturday. Should i message her happy birthday? Nope. Nope. NOPE.
Hell Yeah Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 She still hasn't contacted me, and i still think about her a lot! Its her birthday on Saturday. Should i message her happy birthday? To be blunt my friend......a big hell no she doesn't deserve your birthday wish and compassion book something for that day, anything so that your too busy enjoying that experience instead of sitting then thinking if you should..... don't belittle yourself, wishing her happy birthday after the way shes treated you is beneath you mate go enjoy yourself!! peace
Eddie007 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 You just have to move on. I was with a girl for over 4 years. Everything seemed fine and out of the blue she ended it. That was over 2 years ago and she has never tried to get in contact with me. Sometimes it's just not meant to be.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 She still hasn't contacted me, and i still think about her a lot! Its her birthday on Saturday. Should i message her happy birthday? Dude, just no.
dumbass2 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 She still hasn't contacted me, and i still think about her a lot! Its her birthday on Saturday. Should i message her happy birthday? Ok, you are going to get a No WAY do not wish her a happy birthday from everyone on here. Please for the love of god, listen to all of us. No No No! She doesn't deserve that from you. It will make you look extremely extremely weak. You will feel like crap after doing it. You have to look at all the crap she did and really ask yourself, why in the hell would you even think of wishing her a happy birthday. You need to pick up your self esteem and get back on track. You are way way too much of a Mr. Nice Guy and that will have to change. Google search Mr. Nice Guy and read up on it. You should not have been so nice to her after what she did.
xplosiv Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 I have to echo the sentiments here on the board - stay on your path my friend. No contact will save many months of dragging this break up along. It's amazing reading all these stories of exes running off with their new "lovers" (rebounds) and then come crawling back to the guy that was there in the first place. I never thought my ex would come back, and she did almost a year later. Take pride in knowing that she will be suffering once she detects you have moved on completely from her. She will have no safety net, and you'll be in comfort knowing this rebound isn't going to work (they almost never do), and any guy in the future is going to eventually get the same treatment she gave you. Unless she gets too old to get a new guy, when she might as well have not screwed things up with you.
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