MINDSHIFT Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) We actually have not spoke for 2 weeks after a massive argument. Not contacting her is not the difficult part. I know she is with her ex. The breakup with her was so messy I know if i contact her I will feel like **** and she would think I just want go away. The hard part is not looking at her facebook. I have her password and it sooo tempting to see what she up to. Im also eager to see her whatsapp picture. I know this will set me back. When does it get easier? I believe the best solution is to keep occupied. I thought if i didn't look at her social media stuff she would disappear from my mind but the opposite has happened. I think about her even more. I go through stages, theres days when im like "**** that bitch i dont care about her", and theres days like today where i want to see what she up to, how she doing. Edited September 4, 2015 by MINDSHIFT
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 By the way its been 2 months since we've actually broke up.
drseuss Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 if you had gone real nc at the start you would be so so much further ahead than you are now and be well over all the social media rubbish , but its hard ! very hard ! so i think what you need to do is tell yourself you will go soild nc no matter what or you will be 4 months post bu and still felling rubbish , i deleted my exs number after 3 weeks and that also means you loose their whats app it was hard but im so glad , as for fb i just unfollowed her and took the app off my phone , humans will go to far more effort to avaoid pain then actauly make themselves happy , you know what yop need to do to heal , so do it 2
Satu Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 You have to practice strict NC with blocks in place if you want to get the desired result. Get rid of any of her passwords you have. It has to be watertight. 3
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 I cant wait untill i can look back on this period of my life and look through my posts on this site and laugh hysterically. and have one of those what the hell was you thinking moments. 3
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) Made a stupid mistake and checked her whatsapp, facebook and instagram, New boyfriend instagram, and whatsapp too. I feel like ****, im kicking myself big time. I didnt see anything crazy just pics of her smiling. Instagram im not her follower but she added about 7 new pics and changed her profile dp. Note to self remember this moment and never do it again. It really is a setbet back ppl i was bored and done it and now im thinking about her all over again. N i was on day ****ing 5 now back to 0 Edited September 6, 2015 by MINDSHIFT
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 The problem is you build a picture of what there life must be like with you not in it, miserable and depressing. So the slightest thing that make you know their having fun living a life makes you feel like ****. 1
catlady11 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 It's hard to swallow that they can be so ok with it all and even have the nerve to have fun while we go through all the pain and heartache. Not fair. 3
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Very hard but you know what im not gonna allow myself to get down and hit the bottle. No way she can win again!!! Why should i be depressed and miserable over a person who does not want me. She having fun and I refuse to feel like **** again. Im somebody and I have alot to offer the right person. From this day onwards no contact in the strict form. Im moving on, it will be tough but no MORE THINKING ABOUT HER ANYMORE. Im gonna live my life, make new memories and not give her a second thought. All this bull**** Ive been wandering, "is she gonna text me on my brirthday", "is she gonna call me" "Does she miss me". I dont want to know the answer to these questions anymore **** her. Im gonna get my self respect back, my pride that was stripped from me. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” Mahatma Gandhi
Luke22 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Good to read your post. I am in no position to give advice. What I can do is share what I know makes it worse. When I check my phone looking for text messages over and over and over. I find myself waiting for periods of time for a text...doing nothing but just looking at my phone, waiting for it to beep. You are right, keeping oneself busy helps. Today is day 2 NC. It was not good. I arrived home with no plans and really started to circle the drain. A friend popped by for a couple hours and after he left, I realized I didn't think about her for those few hours and I felt better. Signing on here also makes me feel better. Reading posts and realizing that I'm not crazy. This site proves that I can change my behavior and move forward. What I also like is that I have made some steps backwards, but people here have helped me move forward. I like the combination of people pointing out what I'm doing wrong yet supporting me in moving on with life. 1
thunder777 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 bloke get yourself a new bird ask someone out on a date dont hit the bottle youre just enlarging your wounds and enhancing the powerless feeling your waiting for her to heal share your time with someone new, it wont be as deep, but its a new friendship and thats all it has to be for now
rngrl12 Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 NC works. You just have to follow it. I've been as strict NC as I can with my ex and I have to see him DAILY until the end of December. By not stalking him on social media (I know his passwords too) and not reaching out to him I have really been able to help myself move on even though I see him every day. Stay NC. Do it for you. 2
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