Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron The funny thing is, you do it and not tell her - that will be what irks her. My ex had a conniption fit when she saw me with a new girl - and it was the second girl I'd been with since we'd broken up. I'm not even sure if she realizes that I stopped talking to her originally because I met someone new, and didn't want her to f*ck it up for me. Then I came to LS and found out that what I was doing was called "no contact". It's not like I have to update her in my love life anyway, she seems to be able to find out through the female rumor network. In fact, I was walking around town last night with a local gal and a few other friends and I ran into my ex - but I didn't even notice her until she said "Hey". Actually, she said "Hey babe", or so my friends say, but I didn't hear it that way. Anyways, my point is that I don't use my new girls as a way to get back at my ex, becuase there's no point to it. What do I care what my ex thinks, I've got this beautiful lady here waiting for me to make her night memorable - that's all about her and me, my ex is not welcome into my new relationships. Go have fun with this girl, and forget about your ex. She'll just screw you up anyway. You're totally over your Ex though, right? Did you end things or did she? I'm still hurting and that's why taking it slow would be good. Not too slow, but just enough to keep her interested and intrigued. She's a nice girl, very pretty and I don't want to screw it up I learned a lot from the last relationship about going warp speed. I don't want to do that again! I'm looking for Ms. Right, not Ms. Right Now.
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Considering how badly you were hurt by the Ex, I don't think this trainer girl can amount to anything more than a rebound relationship. Hence, you should do the deed!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret Considering how badly you were hurt by the Ex, I don't think this trainer girl can amount to anything more than a rebound relationship. Hence, you should do the deed! No, I liked her but I was seeing the ex. The date last night was OK but I never felt comfortable. The trainer girl is very nice and I AM interested in her. She might be the one that can get me over the ex, fast!
BrotherAaron Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 You're totally over your Ex though, right? Did you end things or did she? I'm still hurting and that's why taking it slow would be good. Not too slow, but just enough to keep her interested and intrigued. She's a nice girl, very pretty and I don't want to screw it up I learned a lot from the last relationship about going warp speed. I don't want to do that again! I'm looking for Ms. Right, not Ms. Right Now. She ended things - by cheating, and wanting to go further with that relationship. I was the one at each stage pushing the breakup further - but, I mean, she was seeing somebody else (although denying it), and I'd have been a fool not to tell her to get lost. I had a few moments of doubt where she'd contact me inbetween, but I realized that ultimately, she already destroyed any chances of me wanting to be in a relationship with her. She finally did the crying and begging thing about a week ago, and I responded by blocking her. So, yeah, I'm pretty much done with her. I don't think about her on a daily basis, and even running into her last night didn't have much of an effect on me. The first moment I had where I could care less about my ex was actually a few weeks after we broke up when I started getting chased by a *very* attractive girl - and I realized I didn't want my unfaithful and manipulative ex around to mess it up between us. I was nowhere near being over her, but I also wasn't looking for anything resembling a relationship. It was spring break, and I knew it was going to last no longer than a week. I even talked to my ex after hanging out (and making out a bit) with this new girl, and I said nothing to her about it. At one point, she hinted about me seeing someone, and I couldn't withold a smirk, but then changed the subject. Since then, I've been on a few dates, and I started seeing a girl semi-exclusively for a few weeks. Getting serious to any degree with someone was a mistake, and I broke it off with her, but I am going on two dates next week. One with an attractive girl I met the weekend after my ex and I broke up but was too distant at the time (300 miles) to consider dating, and another with a girl I had a crush on back in high school. I know better than to get seriously involved with these girls, I'll be hundreds of miles away again by august (actually the girl from high school is back from california) but there's nothing wrong with enjoying the company of others without any pressure of a longterm relationships. You don't have to have sex with anybody if you don't want to, but can you really say that you'd mind having a pleasant dinner with an attractive girl involving good conversation, a nice walk arm-in-arm, and a goodnight kiss? You're single now, so go have some fun, keep the pressure off, and stick to your boundaries. You've got to stop letting your ex influence your decisions sometime.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron She ended things - by cheating, and wanting to go further with that relationship. I was the one at each stage pushing the breakup further - but, I mean, she was seeing somebody else (although denying it), and I'd have been a fool not to tell her to get lost. I had a few moments of doubt where she'd contact me inbetween, but I realized that ultimately, she already destroyed any chances of me wanting to be in a relationship with her. She finally did the crying and begging thing about a week ago, and I responded by blocking her. So, yeah, I'm pretty much done with her. I don't think about her on a daily basis, and even running into her last night didn't have much of an effect on me. The first moment I had where I could care less about my ex was actually a few weeks after we broke up when I started getting chased by a *very* attractive girl - and I realized I didn't want my unfaithful and manipulative ex around to mess it up between us. I was nowhere near being over her, but I also wasn't looking for anything resembling a relationship. It was spring break, and I knew it was going to last no longer than a week. I even talked to my ex after hanging out (and making out a bit) with this new girl, and I said nothing to her about it. At one point, she hinted about me seeing someone, and I couldn't withold a smirk, but then changed the subject. Since then, I've been on a few dates, and I started seeing a girl semi-exclusively for a few weeks. Getting serious to any degree with someone was a mistake, and I broke it off with her, but I am going on two dates next week. One with an attractive girl I met the weekend after my ex and I broke up but was too distant at the time (300 miles) to consider dating, and another with a girl I had a crush on back in high school. I know better than to get seriously involved with these girls, I'll be hundreds of miles away again by august (actually the girl from high school is back from california) but there's nothing wrong with enjoying the company of others without any pressure of a longterm relationships. You don't have to have sex with anybody if you don't want to, but can you really say that you'd mind having a pleasant dinner with an attractive girl involving good conversation, a nice walk arm-in-arm, and a goodnight kiss? You're single now, so go have some fun, keep the pressure off, and stick to your boundaries. You've got to stop letting your ex influence your decisions sometime. Ah, that explains it. Sounds a lot like my ex. She started dating the new guy before breaking things off with me. She's probably already in the sack with him (since she said they've almost gone all the way after only 2 weeks.) I miss her more than anything but I am almost in the same position. "WHY WOULD I WANT HER BACK?!" After breaking my heart the way she did, I don't know that anything outside a total lobotomy would make a difference. She's 28 and at that age, it's hard for a cat to change stripes. I'm going to take the trainer out to dinner, hang out, have fun and see if we have a connection. If so, I'll take it from there. Still, there's a piece of me that hopes the ex comes to her senses in the next 3 months. I figure if it doesn't happen by then, it never will.
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC After breaking my heart the way she did, I don't know that anything outside a total lobotomy would make a difference. Or a sledgehammer. *cringe* Anyway, have fun with the trainer. If she has promise, go for it. If not, see last paragraph.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Or a sledgehammer. *cringe* Yeah, no doubt.... Anyway, have fun with the trainer. If she has promise, go for it. If not, see last paragraph. Thanks. Did you start your new job yet?
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC No, I liked her but I was seeing the ex. Soooo, how are you any better than the ex then? You were cheating on the ex? Not cool.
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Thanks. Did you start your new job yet? I start Monday (provided I'm over this stupid flu).
BrotherAaron Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Soooo, how are you any better than the ex then? You were cheating on the ex? Not cool. Cheating?? He had never even talked to this girl until like a week ago. Relax. Still, there's a piece of me that hopes the ex comes to her senses in the next 3 months. I figure if it doesn't happen by then, it never will. No no no man. You're missing the point. You're done with her - she's never going to "come to her senses", but it is about time you came to yours. No more waiting.
BigB Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret Soooo, how are you any better than the ex then? You were cheating on the ex? Not cool. I don't think he was cheating, just saw her at the gym and was attracted to her. He posted not long ago about trying to talk to her.
BigB Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Still, there's a piece of me that hopes the ex comes to her senses in the next 3 months. I figure if it doesn't happen by then, it never will. sorry dude, but it's not gonna happen.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret Soooo, how are you any better than the ex then? You were cheating on the ex? Not cool. Noooooo, I never even said a word to her until the ex dumped me. And that was a month later. I mean that I noticed she was smiling at me a lot at the gym and I thought she was cute, but I was dating at the time.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron Cheating?? He had never even talked to this girl until like a week ago. Relax. Eggs-actly No no no man. You're missing the point. You're done with her - she's never going to "come to her senses", but it is about time you came to yours. No more waiting. I know, I know. I can't help myself. If you guys would have seen me around 10am this morning, you'd have screamed "he's beyond help...." I won't tell you what I was doing, but let's just say that if ever I had God's attention, I had it then....
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer I start Monday (provided I'm over this stupid flu). Heal up, mang! Lots of fluid, vitamin C and rest!
BrotherAaron Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I know, I know. I can't help myself. If you guys would have seen me around 10am this morning, you'd have screamed "he's beyond help...." I won't tell you what I was doing, but let's just say that if ever I had God's attention, I had it then.... Masturbation is normal. It's ok, really.
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron Masturbation is normal. It's ok, really. :lmao:
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron Masturbation is normal. It's ok, really. - not me. I'm saving it up, lol. Stupid me decides to ride up there. You know, far, far up in the mountains where we used to ride. There's this long stretch of barren mountainous area where there stands a lone tree. That's the last place I held her. Nobody else was around. It was barren....and quiet. Peaceful, really. You could smell the flowers and spring in the air. The sun was shining brightly and not a cloud in the sky. Just a light breeze and eerie quiet. As I looked upon that spot we last held, I dropped to my knees and cried to God to help me get through this. I must have been there for 20 minutes, arms outstretched, embracing God, a pool of tears beneath me. Just me and this one lonely tree. Not a soul drove by Not a sound was made So far in the desert A heart continues to break Sorry, I'm pathetic. I know.
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Just be grateful you didn't ride up to her door step. Other than that, cry wherever you like.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Just be grateful you didn't ride up to her door step. Other than that, cry wherever you like. Don't think I didn't want to. I've had pain before. I mean, pain that nearly killed me. That was nothing compared to this. I'm not kidding. Grieving is taking much longer than I ever imagined.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Oh, in between the grieving, I did manage to leave a message for the PT from my gym. I tried to keep the message brief but light and inviting. I'll see her on Tuesday for sure if she doesn't call me tonight.
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I've had pain before. I mean, pain that nearly killed me. That was nothing compared to this. I'm not kidding. Another lovely moment in Gethsemane... how symbolic of you. And you survived it!
kellyp1 Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 I think most of us have been through that sometimes paralyzing pain that comes after a breakup. It seems so hard when we are experiencing it. I feel your pain, we've all taken that ride, albeit some of the rides may have been metaphoric in nature. It took me months to get over my last breakup and honestly, it seems harder as I get older and not easier. You'll be better off when you 1) Let go of the expectation that she will return 2) Are strong enough that if that does happen you know you should say no and 3) Realize how incredible you are as a person and how there are nice, normal people out there that you would share a chemistry with that know that. To quote the movie Swingers, "You're money". When that feeling takes over the pain, you'll know it's all good.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by kellyp1 I think most of us have been through that sometimes paralyzing pain that comes after a breakup. It seems so hard when we are experiencing it. I feel your pain, we've all taken that ride, albeit some of the rides may have been metaphoric in nature. It took me months to get over my last breakup and honestly, it seems harder as I get older and not easier. I agree. It's very hard for me to deal with. It was easier when I was younger. You'll be better off when you 1) Let go of the expectation that she will return 2) Are strong enough that if that does happen you know you should say no and 3) Realize how incredible you are as a person and how there are nice, normal people out there that you would share a chemistry with that know that. To quote the movie Swingers, "You're money". When that feeling takes over the pain, you'll know it's all good. Thanks. I agree. I think I am going to start taking classes....it will occupy my time, get my mind on something else.
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