ilovemusic3 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I'm a 26 year old female, and I can't find a job, I have no friends, but I'm close with my family. Would it still be okay to date even though I don't have these things or is it too weird? Can I just explain to the guy my situation? Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Might as well. What else are you going to do with all that free time? You will at least get to go out to dinner. Hard to do that otherwise with no job Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 No, I don't think that's fair. I wouldn't date an unemployed man, and when I was jobless for a year once, I didn't date. Looking for a job was a full time job. I also couldn't afford to pay for anything on a date and I wouldn't want a guy to pay for everything. If you can't afford to take yourself to dinner, it's not right to expect someone else to do that. Apart from the money factor, for me at least, being jobless changes my whole demeanour. I'm not a ball of fun, I'm worried wondering how to pay bills, I'm not the real me. I wouldn't inflict that unemployed "me" on a poor unsuspecting date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Of course it is. Your worth isn't the money you make or the amount of friends you have. We all need love. Sometimes love can help us get through dark times. Don't date someone who makes you feel inadequate. edit: you can do activities that don't require money, so no one is "used". Free concerts, walks, free museums and galleries, free dance lessons... There are always things to do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MrBojangles Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Since you are a woman, I'd say that your employment status and lack of friends, would not matter to most of the men I know. Especially slightly older men. Why deprive yourself of companionship while you seek employment or try and make friends? Those things would not be and issue for me personally, if I liked you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 It's fine but you do need to have a plan about how you will reciprocate to any man who does treat you to a date. It's not fair to expect him to pay for everything. You may also consider stepping up your efforts to find a job or at least get a PT gig while you are looking. Having a job may help you make new friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 What do you being to the table other than sex? Since some men will pay for sex I'm sure you will be able to find someone to take you out in exchange for some companionship. /sarcasm As a man, I would have way more problems with your not having friends than your not currently having a job (as long as you were taking steps to get one). You really need to be a complete person before entering into a relationship with someone else. Otherwise your relationship will be dysfunctional and co-dependent. Cultivate some friendships while you look for a job now. You will be a much better partner when you do start dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 People on welfare manage to have relationships...love doesn't care about how much money you have. However, I would be more worried about the no friends. What would you talk about on a date? As long as you are attempting to find a job, can maybe family help you to pick up a new hobby and maybe you can meet friends that way? Link to post Share on other sites
Lansing Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 My suggestion is to focus on improving your life, for you. Become more social, maybe volunteer or join meet-ups and other group outings. Do things that you enjoy doing for YOU. While doing this stuff you might make new friends AND maybe meet someone. Also, the volunteering might help you with networking and finding a job prospect. I don't think you should spend all of your time on online dating looking for guys to date and spend too much energy on that. Having said that, if you are attractive guys will ignore a lot of issues to date you.... it might not be for long term goals though. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Let me just call the Dating Police. Ring ring... Seems it's still perfectly legal to date whilst having no job or friends. So go for it The worst that happens is the guy won't want to see you again because you have no job or friends. And if that happens, well, NEXT. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Cupid's Puppet Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I agree with the majority here. Don't put your life on hold because of your economic situation. I would encourage you to continue to try to make friends too because you don't want to end up putting all your burdens on your future mate. But yes, that companionship is just what you need right now but just keep yourself happy and upbeat. He will admire you for that. Men love positive attitudes. Link to post Share on other sites
Cupid's Puppet Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 People on welfare manage to have relationships...love doesn't care about how much money you have. However, I would be more worried about the no friends. What would you talk about on a date? As long as you are attempting to find a job, can maybe family help you to pick up a new hobby and maybe you can meet friends that way? In my experience, men would rather not hear about a woman's friends on a date. They can't stand hearing about the crazy things so and so said at work or what he or she said to the other friend blah blah blah. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 go ahead! date! but if you want to have friends (and your friendlessness isn't self-imposed), you can work on that too. but by all means, don't wait for permission. we spend half our lives waiting for stuff. permissions shouldn't be one of those things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Is it that you really can't find a job, or don't want to do just any job? Having a job that you enjoy is important but in the meantime any job is better than no job, you can still work a menial job at the same time as looking for something that suits you better. It would put me off if a woman had no drive or ambition, I'm sure a lot of men feel the same way but not all. It doesn't define you as a person but on a first impressions basis it might give out certain signals to a man. It's probably easier for a woman with no job to date than it would be for a guy, he'd be classed as a no hoping loser. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 If you're attractive, a guy won't care about any of this. Yes, we are that shallow. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemusic3 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 I am trying to look for a job, I apply for retail, and office work, but never even get interviews. I do volunteer and go to meetup groups, but I can't seem to get friends from there, nobody ever really asks for my contact info. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 In my experience' date=' men would rather not hear about a woman's friends on a date. They can't stand hearing about the crazy things so and so said at work or what he or she said to the other friend blah blah blah.[/quote'] LOL!!!! What a sexist and stereotypical response! Is that all you think a woman does with her friends?! I travel with mine, go rock climbing and canoeing with them.....guys dont wanna hear about that...ok! This is why I was telling OP to see if family can help her financially to pick up a hobby...maybe like rock climbing, etc. That way she meets people and has something to talk about. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I am trying to look for a job, I apply for retail, and office work, but never even get interviews. I do volunteer and go to meetup groups, but I can't seem to get friends from there, nobody ever really asks for my contact info. Do you ask other people for their contact info? Somebody has to make the 1st move. When you say you are trying, what does that mean? Personally if you are looking for entry level retail, you should be applying for at least 5 jobs per day. Have you tried snag-a-job? Are you sure there are no typos or other red flag things in your applications? Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Do you ask other people for their contact info? Somebody has to make the 1st move. When you say you are trying, what does that mean? Personally if you are looking for entry level retail, you should be applying for at least 5 jobs per day. Have you tried snag-a-job? Are you sure there are no typos or other red flag things in your applications? Or maybe bars and restaurants too? I agree, perhaps you lack confidence. Try talking to people a bit more at meet ups and ask them for details? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemusic3 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 I have tried alot of different things to try to get a job, date, and friends, I'm 26, and it just doesn't look like I'm going to be getting any of these things anytime soon. I'm really upset about it, can anyone tell me how to feel better about things? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Perhaps try a life coach. Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 If you're attractive, a guy won't care about any of this. All depends on whether he wants a serious relationship or just a bit of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Personally if I was looking for a serious relationship and a women was unemployed I wouldn't be put off, unless of course she had been out of work for a number of years. In my experience, lazy women don't make good partners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 It is not ok in my opinion. At very least it will distract you from your urgent matters (find job, friends, home...) I'm a 26 year old female, and I can't find a job, I have no friends, but I'm close with my family. Would it still be okay to date even though I don't have these things or is it too weird? Can I just explain to the guy my situation? Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 It is not too late, plenty of people are like you. Talk to a therapist and start with the most urgent issue (getting a job), the rest will follow naturally I have tried alot of different things to try to get a job, date, and friends, I'm 26, and it just doesn't look like I'm going to be getting any of these things anytime soon. I'm really upset about it, can anyone tell me how to feel better about things? Link to post Share on other sites
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