yxalitis Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I find it very, very, VERY hard to break up with a woman. It took me TWO YEARS to leave my ex-wife despite her mental condition showing no signs of getting better, her suicide attempts and constantly telling everyone she "doesn't want to be here any more"..even in front of our kids. My eldest daughter's slide into depression and social isolation finally triggered me into taking the step of finally leaving her. Then I met Fay, who had a "boyfriend who doesn't feel like a bf" She simply couldn't' keep away from him, and after a first break up, we reconciled on the rounds that she would "never again" see him, only to do so a scant few months later. Then I moved in with Kay, who immediately decided I could provide the support, financial security, and sex she had been missing...pity she never truly loved me...It took me 2 months to move out. Even leaving a girl I only dated 5-6 weeks was hard...just to say the words "I don't have feelings for you" tore me apart... The last two girls I was dating locally both pulled the slow fade on me...why on Earth grown, mature, and experienced woman can't just say "I like you, but i don't see a future" is beyond me... Anyway... Now I have two LDR girls in HK...one for sure only wants me as an escape route to a better life, the other is far more genuine. Sarah is drop-dead gorgeous and a sex machine...I know my only attraction to her is physical, and I know her "I love you's" are pure manipulation on her part to get me to bring her to Australia. Violet and I talk, chat, video chat, all the time, have a great, meaningful connection, and I'm going back to HK for 9 days to see if there really is something long term possible with her... But I'm still talking to Sarah... I find it SO hard to simply tell her that I'm not going to see her again, that there is no future, that I'm not looking for a pretty girl to show off to my friends, but a real, loving relationship... Especially after she opened up to me about how so many men lie to her, tell her there's a future, then she finds out that that are married, and have no intention of keeping her. She's distraught with the fact that she can't find someone to truly love her, and my heart goes out to her...but at the same time, I'm know she's not the right one for me. I sure as hell don't want to do the fade away...I f'ing HATE that! Am I keeping her alive just to stroke my ego (even though I know her attraction is to what I can offer her, not to me)? Anyone else find this as hard to do as me...?
h0000 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 You know it's hard for you, then why not exercise more caution before you start it. Why not be more selective with people you link yourself romantically with. Im not sure the purpose of you posting this thread 1
Amelie1980 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 You know it's hard for you, then why not exercise more caution before you start it. Why not be more selective with people you link yourself romantically with. Im not sure the purpose of you posting this thread This. You sound more like a player who is simply scared of dropping an option. 1
Author yxalitis Posted September 5, 2015 Author Posted September 5, 2015 I told her I don't think we are suitable for each other...she got upset, but accepted it easily enough. A little anger, but that's to be expected. Now I can concentrate on the one girl I actually do like...
guest569 Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 ...why on Earth grown, mature, and experienced woman can't just say "I like you, but i don't see a future" is beyond me... How is that beyond you? You know exactly because you said it yourself! Yes it sux but it has to be done.
Siquijor Posted September 5, 2015 Posted September 5, 2015 OP, some years ago I was totally in love with a woman but I walked away from her due to various reasons. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but ever since I find it relatively easy to split up with someone whereas beforehand I was kinda like you. I know you don't love this woman and if I was in your position I certainly wouldn't be worrying about her feelings considering she only wants you as a meal ticket. You need to learn to be ruthless with these types and you don't even need to tell her you won't be seeing her again. Best to concentrate on the other woman who sounds far more genuine.
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