bachdude Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I think the question is why you allowed yourself to be controlled by her. Learn to recognize unhealthy behavior and refuse to be a part if it, for your own sake. Yes, make your SO your priority but make sure you also take care of your friends and family. If your SO is pressuring you by throwing fits to spent ALL your free time with her, see it for what it is - unhealthy behavior - and refuse to give in. Just politely but firmly tell her you will spend time with your friends and family and go do it. If she gets upset then so be it. Pressuring someone to distance themselves from friends and family is a a sign of a very unhealthy relationship. Don't allow yourself to get pulled into it.
Author Gingerlocks Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 Oh pleeeze, so you're gonna be her "whipping boy" - where she puts irrational demands on who/where you can go? Trust me, the day another guy like her ex pops up and treats her like a wash rag again, she'll cow/tow down and button her lip and take her beatings like a good school girl. In other words, you may think that she's this poor little victim and that's why she's X way with you - but you fail to see chicks like her everyday pick a "patsy" to let out all their fury on and you're it in this case. In other words, you don't have the backbone her jerky ex did and/or another guy would and she's enjoying every minute of "for one" being the one to dish out the whippings instead of being on the receiving end. Im confused here... Not quite sure what you mean, sorry?
Author Gingerlocks Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 Have i done the right thing for my own sake by going nc with her?
Gloria25 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Im confused here... Not quite sure what you mean, sorry? I meant that you two should have never broken up... I say you should immediately stop NC and look her up. Women like her you don't let get away from you cuz they have so much to offer/value and are a rare find amongst other women. Also, maybe before you contact her you go buy something like a ring or something to really lock her down and let her know you are serious about her. Go, forth and don't miss out on this opportunity!!!
Author Gingerlocks Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 hahahaha... Im guessing you mean the direct opposite, and i should get the hell out of there? 1
katiegrl Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) Have i done the right thing for my own sake by going nc with her? What do YOU think? After all this....if you can't make even the simplest of decisions (such as this), you are in for a very rough road in any relationship you have. She controlled you (which you allowed), treated you horribly and then broke up with you. This should be a no-brainer. Think about it for a bit, and I am sure (or would hope) you will come up with the answer....all on your own, without having to rely on LS or anyone else for the answer. Also, in your NEXT relationship....it might behoove you learn how to establish some boundaries....to avoid having to ask your girlfriend's permission what you're allowed to do and/or not allowed to do. Ridiculous. That behavior reflects you lack backbone and respect for yourself. As a result, any women you date (and even those you DON'T date) is gonna lose respect for you REAL FAST. Which may have been what happened here.... in fact, I can almost guarantee it's what happened here. Be strong, stand up for yourself! Like I said before, a relationship is not a prison and your gf is not your warden, where you need to ask her permission to do something, like spend time with your brother. Edited September 8, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author Gingerlocks Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 What do YOU think? After all this....if you can't make even the simplest of decisions (such as this), you are in for a very rough road in any relationship you have. She controlled you (which you allowed), treated you horribly and then broke up with you. This should be a no-brainer. Think about it for a bit, and I am sure (or would hope) you will come up with the answer....all on your own, without having to rely on LS or anyone else for the answer. Also, in your NEXT relationship....it might behoove you learn how to establish some boundaries....to avoid having to ask your girlfriend's permission what you're allowed to do and/or not allowed to do. Ridiculous. That behavior reflects you lack backbone and respect for yourself. As a result, any women you date (and even those you DON'T date) is gonna lose respect for you REAL FAST. Which may have been what happened here.... in fact, I can almost guarantee it's what happened here. Be strong, stand up for yourself! Like I said before, a relationship is not a prison and your gf is not your warden, where you need to ask her permission to do something, like spend time with your brother. ^this I like. And you are so right. Really. And... I know that. Someday, my head will get around it.
katiegrl Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 ^this I like. And you are so right. Really. And... I know that. Someday, my head will get around it. Awesome! I read my post back and thought it was a little harsh -- and fearful I might have offended you! Happy to hear I didn't... Good luck!
Gloria25 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 ^this I like. And you are so right. Really. And... I know that. Someday, my head will get around it. And that's why I seriously suggest you get back with her... You don't wanna leave her. You "think" you can change her, "fix" her, or by "standing up" to her you're gonna make her bend. "Standing up for yourself" doesn't work with mentally ill, insecure, and/or abusive people. SHE needs to get therapy/counseling to deal with whatever is driving her to be insecure and controlling. You can't change her. But like I said, go back with her and make sure you bring a ring and lock it down. Cuz obviously you wanna stay there. Like I said, couples are like salt and pepper shakers - they're a match - as much as people from the outside can objectively look at the couple and think how sick, unhealthy, etc the couple is. So, she likes to be irrational, controlling, and abusive...and you're lonely, think you can't do better, and the fact that she's hovering over you makes you think "wow, she really wants me - she'll never leave me"...So, there you go - you two are the perfect match.
Gloria25 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 hahahaha... Im guessing you mean the direct opposite, and i should get the hell out of there? Nope, I'm dead serious, you need to get back with her and do it ASAP...cuz, obviously she's a great chick and they are hard to come by.
Author Gingerlocks Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Nope, I'm dead serious, you need to get back with her and do it ASAP...cuz, obviously she's a great chick and they are hard to come by. I don't know if this is some kind of tactics, but by reading this... If i followed it, it would make me extremely stupid. She treated me like garbage. She knew she had me right where she wanted me... Not anymore.
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