OMG, what a day.

[dibdab]

I can't believe what has happened today, and i just don't know how to feel about this all. Basically i made a big mistake by answering my phone as it was my ex. (It had been about 2 weeks sice we last spoke and i was just begining to feel better about things) I quickly put the phone down but it was to late as she knew i was in. 5 minutes later she was hammering at my front door asking to speak to me, she wants her telly back, but to be honest as dumb as i am i just don't have the heart to part with it right now plus i really just do not want to see her at the moment. She came back later on again kicking and screaming at my door and i was kinda scared by the way she was acting as it was quite manic. My brother managed to get rid of her thank god.

 

So basically i phoned her just a little while ago and said to her that right now i do not want to hear from her again and also that i was scared by the way she had acted, i mean making a fool of yourself infront of neighbours over a tv set is quite stupid. I also told her that the reason i was angry was because she dumped me over the phone, and also took the decision out of my hands, she could have had the decency to come over talk about it face to face although i agree that us parting was defintly for the best. she was obviously still angry with me and told me that she will be getting my name tattooed over tomorrow which i am a little sad about. (stupid i know) that was the end of the conversation. Short and sweet as it were.

 

I just don't know if i have done the right thing, by calling her.

 

Do you guys think the way i have acted was ok or should i just have given in to her? I am trying to take control of the situation as it were by not doing anything i don't want to do, i mean i did pay for the tv aswell though not as much and i did offer her money for it.

 

Some people have said that it was a simple ploy to talk to me, but i'm not so sure. There were a few things that she had of mine that i want but i just came to the decision that it's best living without them.

 

I feel so guilty now and just wish i could smooth things over, but i know there is no way of doing it.

 

I hate the way it has ended and i feel it's all my fault.

[Merin]

My Advice is to not hold her crap hostage.

 

If the Television is her's (Even if you paid for some of it) then just give it to her.

Keeping it only makes it look as if you're holding on to her things as a way of holding onto her.

 

It's all okay if you don't want to see her, then arrange for a time when your Brother will be there and she can come and get it then.

 

If the relationship is over, then time to let go of all the crap so there isn't a reason (or excuse) to try to hang on.

 

Hope you feel better soon...

[dibdab]

I take on board what you are saying as 2 other people have said the same thing and a couple of others the oposite.

 

When she walked i found it so hard, like everyone does. I relised how alone i was and how much work it was gonna take to repair myself. I lost my parents when i was 13 and it killed me, i never thought i would come to terms with it, i suffered from depression for a long time and she was always there for me. when i found her at 17 i felt safe and like finally i had someone to really care for me, i guess she was my replacment love. She was my everything for 10 years and to go from having someone real close to having no one again was just to much. Looking back the relationship was not perfect, i know i did alot of things that were wrong but i can't accept that this was all my fault and that she was so perfect. In all honesty i struggled so hard to know my own mind, whenever i was unhappy about something she did or said i would say something to her but she would then make me feel unreasonable for what i was saying and i still feel like people are doing that to me. Right now i am just not strong enough to do the right thing. I am trying for once to not let myself be walked over and i am failing.

 

I feel like if i give into her she has won, i know that it is not a game, but it is how i feel. To do the right thing and be the bigger person is so hard.

 

Maybe i am holding on to her telly as a way of holding onto her.

 

I said it would be amicable but that was before i found out she was chasing a friend. They are together now. That killed me but i know that i have to accept it, and that is another reason why i don't feel like giving into her. I am jelous i admit it i have no one real close to make me feel good while she does. I have my friends and family but it is not the same love that she has. I know even that i need to be strong in myself, but it is so hard walking this road alone. And that when i am strong and independent then will be the time for a new relationship. Were i do not depend on that person to make me feel right.

 

I just needed to vent and to write some more of the way i am feeling down, it is good for me.

[HotCaliGirl]

I'm so sorry you lost your parents at such a young age. You must have gone through a very difficult time and it is too bad your relationship is ending after 10 years.

 

I think you should give her the telly back. I almost changed my mind when I read that she is now chasing a friend and you're jealous - I can better understand where you're coming from. But if you're feeling bad about what has happened, then you will look even worse in her eyes and she will start hating you if you don't return it to her. Plus, she paid more for it than you did!!!!

 

I feel bad for her, how angry she must have been when she came to your place and you wouldn't even see her and then you think she's a maniac. That is sad. I can imagine how upset she must have been feeling. Iwish you would've given it to her then.

 

I'm sure you want to keep it, but you have to return it to her, as hard as it is. I bet you will feel so good once you do it!

[dibdab]

Ok guys that is what i wll do. Thanks for helping me see sence.