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Dating a neighbor, how dumb and risky?


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Posted

He's really hot. We're clearly attracted. But he lives... right there. Right there, across a small, thin street. We would always know when the other was home. But he's really, really hot.

Posted

I say go for it... But I have this hunch that you're looking for someone to talk you out of this?

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Posted
I say go for it... But I have this hunch that you're looking for someone to talk you out of this?

 

Well, I mean, 99.9999% of dating relationships fail. So the likelihood of it working out are slim. And having a guy I dated and it didn't work out with live right there would be awwwwwkward.

 

I don't even know his name. We just stare and smile and say hi. And I swear we're now finding times to come and go at the same time every day, never was happening that way before. Like now he's out on his stoop just talking on the phone at the very time I come out each evening to walk the dogs...

 

I'm tempted to be very obvious and introduce myself with my number.

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Posted

On the other hand you will always have a reason to leave the house looking your best if you ever did break up. Then you have ex sex and a whole variety of options available following the break up :)

 

It's a no brainer.

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Posted

What's the exit strategy if this goes south? Will you be able to handle seeing him come home with another woman or not come home if you break up

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Posted
What's the exit strategy if this goes south? Will you be able to handle seeing him come home with another woman or not come home if you break up

 

I tend to move on emotionally fairly quickly. And I'm contemplating a move in the next 6 months anyway...

Posted
I tend to move on emotionally fairly quickly. And I'm contemplating a move in the next 6 months anyway...

 

- as long as you would be willing to move if things go bad and get awkward or stalkerish, no problem! It sure would be convenient!

Posted
Well, I mean, 99.9999% of dating relationships fail.

 

Very interesting comment. I'd ask you to elaborate but I feel like it should deserve its own thread.

Posted
I'm tempted to be very obvious and introduce myself with my number.

 

Do it. :) Don't plan for failure, roll the dice on success!

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Posted
I'm contemplating a move in the next 6 months anyway...

 

As long as the move is relatively close in the same city, I say go for it. Life's too short.

 

But..if the move is going to be further away, leave it alone. I mean let's say you go for it, he's attracted, and you two hit it off. Then six months later you're moving long distance. Since you knew going in you were going to be far away, that would be selfish to get him invested in dating you.

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Posted
Well, I mean, 99.9999% of dating relationships fail.

 

- well, it's not that bad......maybe 96%......hmmmmmmm, that's close. Whoops!

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Posted
As long as the move is relatively close in the same city, I say go for it. Life's too short.

 

But..if the move is going to be further away, leave it alone. I mean let's say you go for it, he's attracted, and you two hit it off. Then six months later you're moving long distance. Since you knew going in you were going to be far away, that would be selfish to get him invested in dating you.

 

Depends on his/your idea of long distance. I currently live and work in SF proper. I'm very interested in selling and moving to the north bay, across the Golden Gate, about 20-45 minutes away from my current spot, depending on traffic. I'd still work in the city.

Posted
Depends on his/your idea of long distance. I currently live and work in SF proper. I'm very interested in selling and moving to the north bay, across the Golden Gate, about 20-45 minutes away from my current spot, depending on traffic. I'd still work in the city.

 

Anything under an hour isn't long distance. Cool to come across someone from the BA though. I'm in the south bay.

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Posted
Don't plan for failure, roll the dice on success!

 

Wow I really like your statement! I guess that's what has made America great.

Posted

I'm tempted to be very obvious and introduce myself with my number.

 

I think you should. At the very least, you now have one more person from whom you can borrow sugar! ;D

Posted
As long as the move is relatively close in the same city, I say go for it. Life's too short.

 

But..if the move is going to be further away, leave it alone. I mean let's say you go for it, he's attracted, and you two hit it off. Then six months later you're moving long distance. Since you knew going in you were going to be far away, that would be selfish to get him invested in dating you.

 

These are good points. I might be wrong but I took OP's comment in the opposite way. Meaning, in 6 months she won't have to deal with being his close neighbor if it doesn't work out.

 

I say go for it. You have nothing to lose. Knowing what I know about you from this forum, I doubt there's much that you can't handle. Might be awkward for awhile if it doesn't work out, but worth the risk, because if you are planning on being gone in 6 months anyway, any awkwardness won't go on forever. And there is a chance that it could be a very good thing.

Posted
Do it. :) Don't plan for failure, roll the dice on success!

 

Good answer.

I like Jen’s answer and thought, but….

 

Wouldn’t recommend it.

 

I live across the street from my ex-fiancé. That has caused issues with anyone I’ve gotten serious with since.

 

The lady I’m currently seeing trusts me with her life. Is not abnormally jealous. Knows I do not cheat, nor have a history of cheating, yet just having an ex that close has created major trust issues.

 

When I was younger and lived in apartment complexes, there was a lot of bed-hopping and dating around without major problems. In more mature, serious inclined relationships proximity (across the street) does not foster trust in bed partners….

 

There’s bound to be a lot of cute guys in SF.

Based on my experience, I suggest you find one further away.

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Posted
Good answer.

I like Jen’s answer and thought, but….

 

Wouldn’t recommend it.

 

I live across the street from my ex-fiancé. That has caused issues with anyone I’ve gotten serious with since.

 

The lady I’m currently seeing trusts me with her life. Is not abnormally jealous. Knows I do not cheat, nor have a history of cheating, yet just having an ex that close has created major trust issues.

 

That's a really good point, I think nobody would think that unless they went through it.

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Posted
Anything under an hour isn't long distance. Cool to come across someone from the BA though. I'm in the south bay.

 

There are a number of us here. ;)

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Posted
Right there, across a small, thin street. We would always know when the other was home.

 

This happens all the time doesn't it.

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Posted

He's outside taking a reeeeeally long time to armour-all his tires and clean his headlights (? not sure what he's doing). Then leaning back on his car, perusing through his phone. In a tank top. It's cold here.

Posted (edited)

Go right now, talk to him and ask if he'd like to get together. So what if he lives right there.

 

He's waiting on you. Hurry up before he goes inside.

Edited by jay1983
Posted

My neighbor is really hot too but he has a goddamn girlfriend.

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Posted
What's the exit strategy if this goes south? Will you be able to handle seeing him come home with another woman or not come home if you break up

 

This ^^

 

Don't do it...I speak from personal experience.

 

When you see him every day and it's over, AND he doesn't want a thing to do with you, AND/OR he's got someone else, you're gonna hate living every day.

 

Our homes are supposed to be our sanctuary. F with your sanctuary and where else are you gonna go to?

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