Deano1991 Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 Hey bro, For starters, and let me tell you from very very recent experience, knowing whether she left for someone else or didn't will not make the slightest difference in your life, believe me. If anything, lets says she did leave for someone else, then that is where you will feel even more hurt and depressed and have to go through the whole roller-coaster all over again. Quit thinking about why she left you.. she left you, and that says enough as to the love you shared, as it was clearly stronger from your side.
SoThatHappened Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 I was 34 and dating a 22 yo with very strong BPD traits. She cheated on me with a coworker. I was devastated. Months later she either quit or got fired because they broke up and she moved back home. That age gap and her being bi meant this was doomed from the start. A breakup was inevitable. 1
SoThatHappened Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 It's also better that you were likely left for someone else instead of her just simply not wanting to be with you anymore. Think about it. 1
nellbell86 Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 Hey OD, I have been wondering how you've been holding up seeing as we are in similar situations with young exes. I too have been beating myself up wondering if he left me for someone else, cos it just came out of the blue, so suddenly, and poof he was gone, cold and distant like nothing we had ever existed. Unfortunately for us we'll probably never know the truth, they're young and immature and don't want to look like the 'bad guy' so even if you asked her she most likely wouldn't say. Best thing for you to do is think that if she did leave you for someone else, then she's their problem now, and you are free to move on and find someone who actually deserves you. Looking back on my exes track record and he seems to reel women in with his sob story, do all the right things to make you 'think' he's in love and in it for the long haul so he can enjoy being pampered and adored in the honeymoon phase, then about 6-7 months in, once it gets more serious, he's gone. Speaking to his ex before me and he spilled the same stuff about 'needing to find himself' and 'not ready for a relationship' to her before dumping her and finding me only a few days later! So I just think now well I feel sorry for the next girl he finds cos he's not gonna change anytime soon. Of course at the moment I'm still hurting and I know I'd take him back in a heartbeat, but I know that would be completely wrong of me, so trying my hardest to stick with NC and whenever I think of a good thing/moment we had, I try and think of something negative that happened between us and remind myself of why we didn't end up working. 1
drseuss Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 im 22 and my most recent ex was 34 , she said the age didnt bother her b ut i think deep down it did .....
Author Oregon_Dude Posted September 3, 2015 Author Posted September 3, 2015 Thanks for your replies, ladies and gents. While I'm almost sure I was left for someone else, based on the sketchiness that went down at the end, the kind of person who would do that, talk with him behind my back, etc. is obviously not someone I would want to be with anyway. That age gap and her being bi meant this was doomed from the start. A breakup was inevitable.I'm sure you are right. And tbh, I feel really foolish for getting involved with her to begin with. I mean, the "flags" were right there on her profile, and I chose to ignore them and begin a conversation. That said, we developed an intimate connection, and I thought she was different. I thought she could transcend her age, essentially. She has a brilliant mind, is a great writer and has a biting sense of humor. But none of those things matter if she is also an emotional cheater. I know I shouldn't dwell on if I was left for someone else. I don't want to go back to the emotions of day 1. It's just been glaringly obvious to me. I appreciate the sympathetic responses in this thread. The one that really got me down was the matter-of-fact cold one, which I bet is accurate, but made me feel like a piece of crap. Fact is, her treatment of me has nothing to do with how awesome I am. I made a mistake in choosing the wrong partner - one which I have learned from - and I trusted too much. I need to guard my heart more carefully. In the meantime, I am going to work on my self-esteem and realize - KNOW, fully - that I am a smart, talented and loving guy who will make the right woman happy someday. If she can't see it or doesn't appreciate it, she's not the partner I need in my life. Blah blah. And other self-affirmations that are kind of pathetic. Oh well. It's a new day.
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