Gaeta Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 I am at the point where I believe men like crazies and meanies. Many men I shortly dated have moved on after me and picked a total nut for girlfriend. Men I have told to F-OFF have always contacted me again. People will say no it's not true but that's still my experience.
Redhead14 Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 After you see that they are willing to pamper you, then you can pamper them. -- And, when they show you that they don't like to be pampered, you know they aren't right for you anyway. 1
Timshel Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 I am at the point where I believe men like crazies and meanies. Many men I shortly dated have moved on after me and picked a total nut for girlfriend. Men I have told to F-OFF have always contacted me again. People will say no it's not true but that's still my experience. I laughed out loud at this Gaeta. Hilarious. True though 1
Author Toodaloo Posted September 3, 2015 Author Posted September 3, 2015 I laughed out loud at this Gaeta. Hilarious. True though It is! I literally felt this guy I am interested in back off so basically said bye and the next thing whammy. Messaging back again really quickly etc. I think I might go silent and not bother with him for a few days. Give myself a break and read my book... I didn't get around to shaving my legs last night so I could have a long hot bath turn everything off and relax... Bliss... Terrible isn't it. Lovely guy. Another chap that I am just friends with. He is weird in some ways. He has this persona that says he "doesn't care" yet today he showed that actually he does care quite a bit... I took the pee out of him for it. 1
edgygirl Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 No... it's more about not wanting to have to be "busy" with social events outside the house in my non-work hours. So if I don't want to have social events all the time (and honestly I don't these days), what everyone says here about having a "busy life" so you don't get stressed when a prospective guy doesn't contact you... doesn't work for me that well. Perhaps edgygirl is interpreting "busy" as meaning *hectic* or *chaotic*.
edgygirl Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 Mine too. The less I care, the more they do. It's sad. I feel that even when I want to initiate contact, I should not... because men love aloof biatchy women who don't care about them. In the past months what I do is I never initiate contact. It's working, unfortunately. Makes me a little sad that it has to be this way. Feels so unnatural and unhealthy. But if I care and am responsive and initiate... it's not a challenge anymore and they get turned off it seems. Meh. Big meh. I am at the point where I believe men like crazies and meanies. Many men I shortly dated have moved on after me and picked a total nut for girlfriend. Men I have told to F-OFF have always contacted me again. People will say no it's not true but that's still my experience. 1
katiegrl Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 It is! I literally felt this guy I am interested in back off so basically said bye and the next thing whammy. Messaging back again really quickly etc. I think I might go silent and not bother with him for a few days. Give myself a break and read my book... I didn't get around to shaving my legs last night so I could have a long hot bath turn everything off and relax... Bliss... Terrible isn't it. Lovely guy. Another chap that I am just friends with. He is weird in some ways. He has this persona that says he "doesn't care" yet today he showed that actually he does care quite a bit... I took the pee out of him for it. Yeah, this goes back to my post in another thread wherein I said to *leave a guy alone* and he will always come back to you. Overly nice, understanding, accommodating women who show a ton of interest leave many guys feeling meh. What can I say. Our experience proves it's true!! 1
DivorcedDad123 Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 I'm sure there may be guys who like this,but it isn't me. I won't tolerate rude behavior. From men or women. I wouldn't and won't chase someone who's not treating me with respect. Why in the hell would anyone want to put up with that behavior when there's plenty of nice,polite,respectful women out there? You get what you give,or at least it "should" be that way. 1
katiegrl Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 I'm sure there may be guys who like this,but it isn't me. I won't tolerate rude behavior. From men or women. **I wouldn't and won't chase someone who's not treating me with respect*** . Why in the hell would anyone want to put up with that behavior when there's plenty of nice,polite,respectful women out there? You get what you give,or at least it "should" be that way. Quote in asterisk above....Exactly! And you shouldn't! Which is precisely how women feel too....which was Too's (and other women who agree with her) whole point. When a man starts pulling back, showing less interest, and/or not showing respect or consideration, she says bye, or just leaves him alone or if they are in a RL, assertively tells him to shape up or ship out, suddenly he perks up!!! And starts treating her right again! It goes both ways .....it's not gender specific.
carhill Posted September 3, 2015 Posted September 3, 2015 One variable, perhaps already mentioned, pertains to emotional attachment. A classic experience I've had is the everything but mean hook, then dole out the mean in increasing amounts as emotional attachment occurs. This turns upon the psychology of both parties, in that, when one's partner is loving and emotionally attached, one has the choice to cherish or abuse that attachment and exhibit behaviors reflecting those differing perspectives. On the other side, one has a choice as to what boundaries one has regarding 'mean' behaviors, regardless of emotional attachment to the person. If one is more likely to give benefit of the doubt as attachment increases, that's one style. If ejecting at first sign, that's another style. If style is communication and resolution, that's another style. Etc, etc. Another aspect of 'like', relevant to men, is breeding and socialization to tolerate and ignore physical and emotional pain and other aspects of human and world interaction as relevant to their perception of 'mean'. Men are all different in this area. Behaviors that one man might find 'mean' another may laugh at as meaningless or anywhere in between. It all depends.
Author Toodaloo Posted September 3, 2015 Author Posted September 3, 2015 I'm sure there may be guys who like this,but it isn't me. I won't tolerate rude behavior. From men or women. I wouldn't and won't chase someone who's not treating me with respect. Why in the hell would anyone want to put up with that behavior when there's plenty of nice,polite,respectful women out there? You get what you give,or at least it "should" be that way. I am not being rude but instead of pandering and being nice I am basically just walking off and doing my own thing. I am being blunt and to the point. I am not giving an inch unless they work their asses off for it. In a way I am treating them the way I would the lads at work when I want peace and quiet. Dismissive. I was being nice polite and respectful but all I got was a battering of abuse and aggression. I would love to say you get what you give but actually thats no been the case for me. 1
Amelie1980 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) I am at the point where I believe men like crazies and meanies. Many men I shortly dated have moved on after me and picked a total nut for girlfriend. Men I have told to F-OFF have always contacted me again. People will say no it's not true but that's still my experience. I have noticed that on occasion. One guy I dated last year dumped me for someone who I wouldn't call nuts but she was very very rude and for no good reason. I saw on his Facebook that new girl had met all his friends and was being openly rude to them on public Facebook posts. They would express an opinion about something and she would reply back with something like "what a load of bull****...." then she'd go on to say how she was right and they weren't and it was very rude and condescending in her tone. I blocked his sorry a$$ they deserve each other. I do wonder tho if i was a rude bi tch rather than my amenable self I would have different results. Edited September 4, 2015 by Amelie1980
elaine567 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I wonder if it is "men" in general or just a subset of men. I am guessing it may be men who had harridans of wives or gfs or mothers maybe, men who are accustomed to being treated "less than" and who see rude, bitchy, angry women as being the norm, as something desirable, and hence are highly attracted. In the same way as some women move from one misogynist abuser, to the next misogynist abuser, some men may move from one mean, nightmare of a wife/gf to another mean, nightmare of a wife/gf. Something simply attracts them to being treated less then kindly. I guess when they meet loveliness and kindness they go meh, but as soon as there is any indication of feistiness, they are all over it like a rash. I know this guy as a friend. His mother was one of those women. She was, complaining, always upset about something, angry, bitter, rude, chip on her shoulder - a nightmare. Who did he marry? Someone just the same as his mother, she left him and again he went for the same type for his second wife, he left her and now his gf is a carbon copy of his mother too... 1
Author Toodaloo Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) I do wonder tho if i was a rude bi tch rather than my amenable self I would have different results. The chap I was seeing very briefly last summer did this. I am still friends with him. He has all but admitted that he couldn't be in a serious relationship with me because I am too skinny (I am not skinny but his type is massive), I am too good looking and I am far too grounded and lovely to people. Considering as his "type" is enormous, unfit, lazy, psychotic [women] I actually took it as a compliment. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why. Personally I think its because he has no idea how to react to people treating him well. Ho hum - not my problem. I wonder if women look for father figures in some way too... Edited September 4, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language
William Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 Morning folks, Since this thread pertains to men liking it when women are 'mean', I'd like to advise members of our announcement regarding language to describe such situations and people. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/current-events/announcement-site-wide-individual-group-bashing-policy-78.html As example, in this thread, a man liking it when a woman is mean is acceptable language. A man 'liking a bitch' is not acceptable language. Such language applies to either gender. 'Bitter nice guys whining' is gender bashing language, as example of the reverse gender. it doesn't matter who posts it because moderation doesn't know with any certainty who is male and who is female on this anonymous forum. What matters is language. Thanks for reading and carry on!
Trane Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I have been getting quite a bit of success with a better quality of man recently. Sadly its not quite worked out and I am not there yet but one thing has struck me. They seem to get keen when I get a bit mean. I am not being overtly nasty. But I am pushing them and being a bit curt with them. As soon as I sense their interest beginning to wane I send a quick short message along the lines of "Its been nice talking to you" - so not a good bye but a hint that I am buggaring off and whomph... its straight back in there. Like bees to honey... Its just so sad that in order to gain the attention of kind, generous, hard working, worth while men I have to be... well to put it bluntly... bit of a bitch. I can't just be my usual lovely to everyone, happy, bouncy self. I just have to bounce off in another direction paying them absolutely no heed and treating them as inconsequential. I feel a bit horrible doing it - but it is getting me dates with a far better quality of man and the sort of men that I know will treat me well if it gets that far. Thing is - I actually want to treat them well too. I don't like doing this. I want to spoil them rotten and pamper them. But I know if I do they will write me off with out a glance backwards. Pft. This dating lark is utter balls sometimes isn't it. Seems women are not the only ones with Daddy issues. I am off to shave my legs. Wow! Gotta get mean to get better quality or the attention you want from men? Sounds like my Genuine Nice Guy thread in reverse that was abolished from further discussion. Gee, I wonder how long before the loveshack police take this one down lol? Unless there's a hidden agenda here, it probably stays up. To answer the thread? I have no patience, time or respect for women who make it a point to be bitchy or be mean to me. Seeya! Phuq-ya!! Goodbye!!! A bit of sarcasm and a backbone is normal and natural. Wearing a capital B hat with a bad attitude is abnormal and unnatural.
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