dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita It's Working!!! ahhhh hahahaha we have gotten into your psyche!!! lol my therapist says i need to be more assertive instead of aggressive. So what's an assertive way of saying "bugger off"? lol j/k
tokyo Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl Now you guys are making me paranoid Am I posting too much? As a newbie to the forum, I'm not sure what's acceptable. I havent really had any issues with CIOC's posts because it helps me take my mind off of my problems and I can see progress being made with him and it makes me happy. Sure, when he regresses, it makes me sad, but it's part of the healing process. Post as much as you want. There's no limit. If you really wear people out they will stop to answer on their own.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl lol my therapist says i need to be more assertive instead of aggressive. So what's an assertive way of saying "bugger off"? lol j/k Fouk Off!
dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita Fouk Off! Apparently, that's not assertive hehe
laRubiaBonita Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl Apparently, that's not assertive hehe assertive would be :"leave me the fu_k alone, now!"
Naive Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Post as much as you want. There's no limit. If you really wear people out they will stop to answer on their own. You beat me to posting this kooky!!!! I was also going to say that. You can go ahead and post as many times whatever you want and word it differently or do as you wish, someone is always going to answer and the ones that get bored well they will just stop posting on your thread. there is no rule that says "once people start to get bored of you posting the same old thing over and over again you have to stop"!!! That is what it's so wonderful with LS...someone is always willing to help.
Tony Posted May 14, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted May 14, 2005 LoveShack.org is a forum where people are welcome to ask for advice, get things off their chest, seek support and discuss what they must in order to work out issues. It is never a substitute for professional help. Like anything else, people with issues can get stuck here and lose sight of the bigger picture. Certain people can grow to depend on the site in an unhealthy way. If you are confused as to why you are here or what benefit you are getting from the site, a bit of time away may be in order. There are many sources of professional help if you cannot afford a counsellor. There are churches, universities and governmental agencies that provide various kinds of counselling services at reasonable prices or at no charge at all. There are also many support groups in cities around the world that help people recover from divorce, break-ups, and get them through bouts of depression, anger, etc. I'm sorry you had to start a thread for us to help you out in deciding why you are here or what kind of affect LoveShack is having on your healing process. That's really something you must determine and you may do the best job of that away from the site in the silence of your own thoughts.
alphamale Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by Tony LoveShack.org is a forum where people are welcome to ask for advice, get things off their chest, seek support and discuss what they must in order to work out issues. It is never a substitute for professional help. I've been wondering TONY....are these canned or "generic" responses you give out that u just cut and paste over and over cause everything u write sounds exactly the same. Just wondering I guess.
North Shore Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 While posting here and getting support, as well as helping others, can be catharthic, I have honestly come to believe that The Shack is often quite detrimental to mental health of some. I do occasionally come back and read posts. I do even post - but rarely. Here's why: Most of the people in this particular forum (breakups etc.) are sincerely trying to be helpful and supportive. However, most are also going through or have recently gone through a breakup themselves. Advice can often be too influenced by this. Bitterness shows through. Sometimes it infects. There are some that can be high-handed - offering the same advice repeatedly as if they have the only answer on how to recover - the Preachers. There are many who look at situations only from their point of view as the "dumper" or the "dumpee". The "dumpee" can be vilified for that title only - not the situation - simply because the majority were dumped themselves and cannot see beyond that. And there can also be something detrimental in getting too many differing points of view. It can be confusing and, for me at least, made discerning my own feelings at different stages difficult. It made me second guess my own feelings and instincts. The best thing I ever did for myself was stop posting and reading LS for a few months. Stepping back and not analyzing everything so much was what I needed to do. This is obviously not the case for everyone. If you suspect you should back away from The Shack for awhile - then that's what you should do. You can always come back when you're feeling more solid about it - when you can truly put things in perspective with a grain of salt - and some humor. Again, 99.9% of the posters here are truly sincere in their desire to help and be helped. Their advice is often useful and sometimes you need to hear what is said here. But sometimes you must leave behind the bitterness of others in order to leave behind your own.
Naive Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I cannot see LS ever harming me. It's juat a recreational place for me. Don't get me wrong I come here to help others and to get help but I am sure it's not harming me.
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I agree CATNIP. We have discussed COC's problems in great detail over and over on probably 20 diffent threads. There are other people on LS that need help also. Converging all our resource to one person is not a good idea. Ad naseum. Mmm, many of us seem to agree about this. Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I find it hilarious that Alpha thinks the only person getting anything out of my threads is me. Well, you have to admit that we have all discussed your problems over and over and over and over and over and over again. If I were to count, I'd bet you have about 15 threads about you and your ex. Not that I mind, but frankly, I've been reading about you and your ex for months, long before I ever even joined LS. However, everyone can benefit from reading about someone's difficulties and reading all the different advice people propose, so I don't think your multiple threads is necessarily a bad or annoying thing. That having been said, you do seem to use LS as some sort of...oh, I don't know, some sort of soap box to bash your ex and propagate yourself as an innocent martyr that we are all supposed to let cry on our shoulders and applaud you when you throw something back in your ex's face. While most post "what do I do?" or "please HELP" in order to receive REAL advice and criticism, your posts smell more of "hey, look at my evil immature ex and the strong wonderful man she has trashed, please join me in agreeing that I am the shiz-nit and she f-ed up." And I must point out that when other people post their problems, you are the first to point out what they are doing wrong (and often pointing out your disagreement having been in agreement with the eyes of God, I might add), but don't want to hear anything negative back. I don't think you respond well to the truth, rather, you post just to get back what you want to hear, and in that way, yes, you are the only one benefitting from your threads. Like I said in your newest thread - yet again about you and your ex - we are only hearing one out of three versions of the story. It seems that you are insecure to the point where you need all of us internet buddies to gang-up against your ex, fight with you against the evil that you think she is because you're not strong enough to just let go and walk away on your own.
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret If I were to count, I'd bet you have about 15 threads about you and your ex. Ok, so I feared I had completely exaggerated there, so for the he!! of it I went and counted. I thought I was going to be wrong, but it turns out (assuming my count is correct) that you have started 23 new threads since April 18 that revolve around you and your ex. That's a lot, hun.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret Ok, so I feared I had completely exaggerated there, so for the he!! of it I went and counted. I thought I was going to be wrong, but it turns out (assuming my count is correct) that you have started 23 new threads since April 18 that revolve around you and your ex. That's a lot, hun. 18 in almost a year? More than some but not the worst and certainly not all of them on the same subject.
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I counted from April 18 of THIS YEAR to the present, and counted 23 threads started by you, but I could certainly be wrong.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret That having been said, you do seem to use LS as some sort of...oh, I don't know, some sort of soap box to bash your ex and propagate yourself as an innocent martyr that we are all supposed to let cry on our shoulders and applaud you when you throw something back in your ex's face. While most post "what do I do?" or "please HELP" in order to receive REAL advice and criticism, your posts smell more of "hey, look at my evil immature ex and the strong wonderful man she has trashed, please join me in agreeing that I am the shiz-nit and she f-ed up." Everyone deals with problems in a different way. You have yours, I have mine. And I must point out that when other people post their problems, you are the first to point out what they are doing wrong (and often pointing out your disagreement having been in agreement with the eyes of God, I might add), but don't want to hear anything negative back. I don't think you respond well to the truth, rather, you post just to get back what you want to hear, and in that way, yes, you are the only one benefitting from your threads. They're called opinions and you can take them for what they are worth. I rarely get upset when someone disagrees. If I have, I certainly didn't take it personally. And if you look at my post, you'll see where I think I have something to offer, I do. If I don't, I simply don't say a thing. I tend to avoid subjects I know nothing about (Marriage issues, for instance). Your view is a bit skewed and out of focus. Then again, it's just your opinion. Like I said in your newest thread - yet again about you and your ex - we are only hearing one out of three versions of the story. It seems that you are insecure to the point where you need all of us internet buddies to gang-up against your ex, fight with you against the evil that you think she is because you're not strong enough to just let go and walk away on your own. I'm not going to therapy to fix my ex. I am going to fix myself, so what do you think the focus would logically be on?! You seem to be spending an awful lot of time telling me what I am doing wrong and fanning the flames when perhaps your best efforts would be served in other threads. Just a thought.
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 See, even the way you break up my entire post and argue back, point by point, proves my point that you only want support and not any honest, best-intended criticism. You didn't even digest what I said, you just read it to figure out how to argue back (sure you aren't a lawyer??). I think I had some very valid points, none of which you would even consider to be right on point. Perhaps it's because the truth hurts, huh? Originally posted by ConfusedInOC You seem to be spending an awful lot of time telling me what I am doing wrong and fanning the flames when perhaps your best efforts would be served in other threads. LOL. Again, proving my point that you only want to hear "pro-Confused" stuff. You're pointing the finger back at someone who you know nothing about. I'm trying to help you move on, dude. But in order to do that, you've got to take a long, honest look in the mirror. It's sometimes impossible to see our own, pathetic, irritating flaws.
Naive Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC You seem to be spending an awful lot of time telling me what I am doing wrong and fanning the flames when perhaps your best efforts would be served in other threads. Just a thought. I think that "best efforts" are good in any thread. Thankfully just like you can start any thread and/or post anywhere so can she. Anyone can. If what sh says is inappropriate I'm sure it will be dealt with.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret See, even the way you break up my entire post and argue back, point by point, proves my point that you only want support and not any honest, best-intended criticism. No, it means I am reading your thread and addressing your comments. Pretty common practice, actually. You didn't even digest what I said, you just read it to figure out how to argue back (sure you aren't a lawyer??). I did, and lot of it, no offense, is bunk. I don't address anything I feel isn't important or relevant. I think I had some very valid points, none of which you would even consider to be right on point. Perhaps it's because the truth hurts, huh? No, it's because your opinions are just that, opinions. I take them for what they're worth. LOL. Again, proving my point that you only want to hear "pro-Confused" stuff. You're pointing the finger back at someone who you know nothing about. I'm trying to help you move on, dude. You have a clever way of disguising your "help"... But in order to do that, you've got to take a long, honest look in the mirror. It's sometimes impossible to see our own, pathetic, irritating flaws. I agree.
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