ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I'm just wondering. I've gotten some good advice here, but now I find myself "sulking" on LS. I am not sure if I am here anymore for encouragement, I'm lonely or that I am obsessed about the breakup so I come here and obsess even more. I think I should take a break from LS for a few weeks and see if I feel better. I don't think I am feeling better right now and since I am back to NC, if I stay here I'll think about her even more and prolong the healing process. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not defined by my failed relationship and we just weren't right for each other.
alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I think I should take a break from LS for a few weeks NC with LS!
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I'm just wondering. I've gotten some good advice here, but now I find myself "sulking" on LS. I am not sure if I am here anymore for encouragement, I'm lonely or that I am obsessed about the breakup so I come here and obsess even more. I think I should take a break from LS for a few weeks and see if I feel better. I don't think I am feeling better right now and since I am back to NC, if I stay here I'll think about her even more and prolong the healing process. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not defined by my failed relationship and we just weren't right for each other. Im beginning to feel the same way. I love the shack, but in order to walk again properly, eventually you have to lose the crutch.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 the thing is you can start to substitute LS for things you are no longer getting from your relationship, like companionship, sharing ideas in a supportive(normally) environment, there is always "someone" here....... it is healthy that you realize this "dependancy" you are developing.
Pocky Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I've gotten some good advice here, but now I find myself "sulking" on LS. I am not sure if I am here anymore for encouragement, I'm lonely or that I am obsessed about the breakup so I come here and obsess even more. I think I should take a break from LS for a few weeks and see if I feel better. I don't think I am feeling better right now and since I am back to NC, if I stay here I'll think about her even more and prolong the healing process. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not defined by my failed relationship and we just weren't right for each other. Considering the numerous posts you created in the last few days, I'd say you're obsessing over the break up and it might be a good idea to take a break. Or you could just be an attention whore and you're using this break up to focus on "me me me me me."
dgiirl Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky Considering the numerous posts you created in the last few days, I'd say you're obsessing over the break up and it might be a good idea to take a break. Or you could just be an attention whore and you're using this break up to focus on "me me me me me." hehe what's wrong with being a forum whore?! I'm surely guilty of being that. I can see LS enabling me, but I've always been into forums so it's not really Just start posting in some of the other areas too, that are not related to breakingup/coping etc.
tiki Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Yeah, ban yourself from the breakup area, or whatever area it is that you usually reside in the most. I feel like LS has it's way of pulling the man down....yes. You post something, only to get the info that you need, and get over it...only to find that someone has replied to your post (even if it was in 2004 ) and all the hard feelings come up again.
Pocky Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl hehe what's wrong with being a forum whore?! I'm surely guilty of being that. I can see LS enabling me, but I've always been into forums so it's not really Just start posting in some of the other areas too, that are not related to breakingup/coping etc. Posting in multiple threads isn't what I consider a forum whore. I'd save that term for someone that initiates several new threads just to discuss their issue and continue creating a new thread on a daily basis to discuss the same issue.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 and then there is the reposting of the same question over and over, but it is just worded differently. or the type of people that post only to get the answers they want, they will argue and debate with you some until the end if it not the answer they wanted. Not that YOU do these things CIOC.....
sunshinegirl Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I think CIOC, you've just given me the shot in the arm I needed to realize that these kinds of boards are keeping me down, too. I mean, you guys have been incredibly supportive and responsive to me over the last couple of weeks. Good, solid advice and comfort. At this point, though, there aren't really any more questions. My relationship is over and my only work now is to accept it and get through my grief to the other side. By spending so many hours on these boards, I'm wallowing. Not finding ways to distract myself and therefore not making room for LIFE to get inside me. No wonder that heavy cloud is still hanging around! So I think I'm going to wean myself off of here for awhile. Maybe not leave entirely, but at least limit my time...perhaps to non-work hours. Thanks everybody for everything. I've learned so much from you all.
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I think I'll have withdrawl if I leave, but I can't make any money spending my whole day at the Shack!!
blind_otter Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Different strokes. I guess. I think it's all about "you" and what you want. Because LS was here for me during my prolonged, bad breakup, pregnancy, miscarriage, retraining order, legal issues with my ex - and I am definately over him. It's normal to experience intense feelings of sadness or longing when getting over a breakup. You guys are just "in it" right now. I don't think you should blame LS (maybe because I got over my 1 year abusive relationship and recently got into a much more comfortable, nicey-nice relationship).
laRubiaBonita Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 LS cannot hurt you, only what you do with the info and your time on LS may harm you. if you use LS to wallow in self-pity then stop. If you are using it to fill social voids and not going out in RL and meeting other, then stop. self control. Take Responsibilties for your actions.
Pocky Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita If you are using it to fill social voids and not going out in RL and meeting other, then stop. I use it to fill a social void so I don't have to go out in RL and meet people - it's about all I can handle of human interaction.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky I use it to fill a social void so I don't have to go out in RL and meet people - it's about all I can handle of human interaction. i mean only if it is harming or unhealthy. some cases, especially when you can differentiate between healthy and unhealthy activities, like you pocky, are fine. it is a phase. Every few months LS will get a similar Post, "LS addiction", the newness will wear down.
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I'm just wondering. I've gotten some good advice here, but now I find myself "sulking" on LS. I am not sure if I am here anymore for encouragement, I'm lonely or that I am obsessed about the breakup so I come here and obsess even more. I think I should take a break from LS for a few weeks and see if I feel better. I don't think I am feeling better right now and since I am back to NC, if I stay here I'll think about her even more and prolong the healing process. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not defined by my failed relationship and we just weren't right for each other. Try going around different parts of LS, stay away from down and depressing posts. Start some fun threads, embarressing moments, stupid silly stories, maybe that could help. Go out with friends, watch some good tv shows, enjoy life instead of being on the computer. Sometimes being on the computer is so useful but it also isolates ya and spending too much time alone isn't good, the mind can go places where it shouldn't and maybe now IS a great time to be busier. Could help you move past your exgf and will definately make NC so much easier.
blind_otter Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I have accepted my addiction. Honestly I am a blabber mouth. If I spilled the beans to my friends every day they would be like, otter, shut up. And my family, and my new adorably delicious bf. I use LS as a way to babble on about random sh*t. And get good advice when I am neurotically obsessing. Aren't we all neurotic obsessers if we are posting on an internet forum about our issues? Some people seem to get along fine without asking for random advice from strangers. I happen to love it. I loved LS 6 years ago when I first came to the pre-pubescent site. Then I left, and I totally forgot about it for a while and posted frequently on another board. Then for some reason that board became all Christian and for the hell of it I typed in loveshack.org.... and it was there, waiting for me, all growed up and sexier than ever. I had to come back to my LS. So there it is. You will NEVER be free! Muuuaaaahahahahaaaaaaa
RecordProducer Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Discussing things doesn't make them worse, but better. It's the main part of every psychotherapy. If avoiding the problem made it disappear, shrinks would write books about how to drag your mind off the issues and not how to work on them and resolve them. Secondly, you love her and suffer because of her anyway. LS doesn't make you suffer more. Thirdly, you can post your replies, you don't have to start threads about your ex. Occupying your mind with other people's problems and trying to help them is healing, because in those moments you don't have to think about your own problems. But of course, it's your choice. We'll miss you.
tokyo Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita LS cannot hurt you, only what you do with the info and your time on LS may harm you. if you use LS to wallow in self-pity then stop. If you are using it to fill social voids and not going out in RL and meeting other, then stop. self control. Take Responsibilties for your actions. LaRubiaBonita gave you a pretty good answer. Sweet and short.
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Discussing things doesn't make them worse, but better. It's the main part of every psychotherapy. If avoiding the problem made it disappear, shrinks would write books about how to drag your mind off the issues and not how to work on them and resolve them. Secondly, you love her and suffer because of her anyway. LS doesn't make you suffer more. Thirdly, you can post your replies, you don't have to start threads about your ex. Occupying your mind with other people's problems and trying to help them is healing, because in those moments you don't have to think about your own problems. But of course, it's your choice. We'll miss you. Couldn't agree more RP. I too, just today, thought I should take a break from the Shack, but without it I would have driven away all my friends and never made a full recovery. With the LS's therapy, I'm moving full steam ahead. Met 2 girls just today. God bless American girls and the Love Shack.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Discussing things doesn't make them worse, but better. It's the main part of every psychotherapy. If avoiding the problem made it disappear, shrinks would write books about how to drag your mind off the issues and not how to work on them and resolve them. Secondly, you love her and suffer because of her anyway. LS doesn't make you suffer more. Thirdly, you can post your replies, you don't have to start threads about your ex. Occupying your mind with other people's problems and trying to help them is healing, because in those moments you don't have to think about your own problems. But of course, it's your choice. We'll miss you. I need to talk about it, but the problem is I am just fresh with this breakup and I am taking it harder than anything I ever have in my life. Funny. I didn't care to know much about what she was doing when we were dating but now that she dumped me, I find myself always wondering what she is up to and who she is with. And for the life of me, I don't know why. I just didn't want to mop on LS. I have a date on Friday and I am sure that will go OK. I just don't want to talk about the Ex (and I won't!). I want to have a good time and, at least for a few hours, not even THINK about her.
Naive Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Yeah, ban yourself from the breakup area, or whatever area it is that you usually reside in the most. I feel like LS has it's way of pulling the man down....yes. You post something, only to get the info that you need, and get over it...only to find that someone has replied to your post (even if it was in 2004 ) and all the hard feelings come up again. oKAY!!!!!!!! That's what I'm talking about!!! It sucks when someone brings back ann old thread with old problems Just when you were getting over it!!!!
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