Dad OD again on crack, im afraid i will get a call one day...

[DatingDirection]

I'm dealing with dad issues today, kind of tired of it. He OD on drugs again, and is reaching out for help. I'm afraid one day, he will die because of it, and I will not be alble to live with the pain and guilt, did i do enough?

 

This is a cycle of his. While i love him, there is not much i can do. I visited him today, and wrote down some goals for him to focus on, making referrals to programs for addiction, calling the doctor. He was spoiled as a child, and i have no idea how he didn't learn life skills, but he didn't. Maybe my parents got married too soon, 25 dad, and 21 mom.

 

I don't know what his problem is, i just wish i had a normal dad, sometimes i get my identity mixed up with his, and my self image is distorted, b/c i associated it with who my mom and dad are.

 

I wish it were not so.

[Quiet Storm]

I understand how you feel, I have faced the same issues. Luckily, my dad finally got tired of being on booze, coke/crack and now just smokes weed. He put us through hell before he gave it up, though.

 

It sucks having a parent that loves drugs more than you. But you can't take it personally. It helped for me to see my dad as a person, and not just my dad. He had some really messed up things happen when he was a kid and was never taught coping skills. It wasn't that he didn't love me or care, he was just overwhelmed with his own pain. My mom was codependent because of her own alcoholic dad. It's a cycle. Now my sister's an addict.

 

I broke the cycle by surrounding myself with emotionally healthy people and learning from them. I watched how normal people cope in a healthy way (going to gym instead of drinking to oblivion, for example). I learned where I was weak and vulnerable to my family's influences. I used self awareness and introspection to be stronger, healthier and different than them.