ptopes Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 I began talking to a man from a dating website several months ago. For the first 2 months or so, we never met up, but we simply held random conversations over text messages. He offered one night for me to come over and watch a tv show with him that we were talking about for several weeks. I went over, and I stayed the night since he lives about an hour from me, and I don't drive well at night. Nothing happened, we simply slept in the same bed and then I left the next day. He didn't text me for a week or so, but after that, we began texting almost daily again. Our conversations weren't constant since we are both busy people. The second time I went over, we were slightly intoxicated and we cuddled and shared kisses. I texted him the next day asking him where he sees this going, because I don't want to expect something more or less than what he was expecting. He replied saying that he has no interest in friends with benefits, and he isn't searching for a relationship at the moment due to the fact that he has no stable career or future yet, but he followed it up with "but who knows, things may change quickly." He initiated most of our conversations, and after having that talk, he added me on facebook. I recently went over to his home for the third time, and once again, our night was filled with cuddles and kisses. He has begun to become a horrible texter due to the fact that he can take up to 12 hours to respond to a simple text, but it doesn't bother me due to the fact that I am busy myself. I just don't know if he was simply making an excuse not to pursue anything more than me, or if that was a genuine response. I don't want to be played or anything like that. I notice that he still logs onto the dating app we met from, and that concerns me slightly, but I am trying not to focus on that. I am starting to really like this guy, and I just don't know if this situation seems to be leading to a dead end .Thank you for your time in reading this, guys. I truly appreciate it.
smackie9 Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 I only had to read the first line.....he's not that into you and you know it.
vanillacupcakes Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 i hate to say it (and I could be wrong; I hope I am), but I think you are an option. I only think this way because I've spent way too much time on dating sites/apps in the past and I can relate to this behavior. If a man is into you, circumstances don't matter unless they're extremely severe and unavoidable. Move onto someone who actually pursues you and doesn't take 12 hours to respond to a text message. I don't care how busy someone's life is, they will find a way to respond quicker than that if they are into you.
carhill Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 Seems a bit sexually ambivalent to me. Slept in the same bed and nothing then two more private get-togethers and things are pretty mellow. Reminds me of when I was dating women as a virgin, except for the bed part. I'd never did that. Beds are for sex. Heh. IMO, if you otherwise like him, keep showing up until someone says no (you or him) and date other men.
fitnessfan365 Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 He talked w-you for two months and never brought up meeting. Then invites you over to his place out of the blue? That should've told you right then he wasn't that interested. Then on top of that he tells you he doesn't want a relationship, takes forever to respond, etc.. It seems like he's made up his mind about you and just likes having you as a back up. So for what it's worth, my advice would be to invest your time in meeting other guys.
Versacehottie Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 He sounds lazy and yes not looking for a relationship. I'm surprised he didn't try to do more with you physically. That's a little odd since all he offered was for you to come over to his place. Here's my thought process: Relationships that are going to turn into something progress not regress. If he was giving you more before in terms of contact (texting it sounds like) and now it's less, that would not be a good sign. Definitely date others. Put him on back burner. See if he steps up--don't wait for it. You should treat him as an option from a distance. I would take him at his word that he is not looking for a relationship now. Best way to protect yourself and keep it moving.
Maggie4 Posted September 2, 2015 Posted September 2, 2015 If he's not looking for a relationship, and he's not looking for sex, why is he on the dating site?
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