Author whirlwindlove Posted May 24, 2005 Author Share Posted May 24, 2005 thanks, but I don't know what hell to think anymore. I kept NC, and he called, but I am so lost with what his intentions mean. Out of love I put up with a lot, and when we talk, i forget about how poorly he has been treating me. I feel I am getting stronger, but I want the courage to not respond to him. I think he was just testing me, to see if I would drop everything for him. My world is just spinning. I don't know what to think? Link to post Share on other sites
st8toftheheart Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by whirlwindlove So does what does his text mean? Is he trying to have his cake and eat too? It is so sad, how people can toy with you.. I try to stay strong. Did you tell him that your date with your firend wasn't anything serious? Did you tel him that you still care for him? If you did that was the wrong thing to do. All he wanted to make sure is that his escape hatch was still there if things didn't go well for him. This time, if this situation were to repeat itself and you don't have the will power, change your number. It was evident that it was his insecuity that had him contually calling you. He fear ed that his safetly net was take away from him. That is exactly how he needs to feel, like he's lost that net. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whirlwindlove Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 I kept everything to small talk. I could tell he was trying to fish. The bad part was I did finally answer my phone, but I kept it cool. NO talking about anything serious. I could tell he was trying to cover his tracks for calling. When I asked him why he called or texted, he blew it off, and didn't respond. More like he didn't wanted to show that he cracked and called when he saw me out. Then he asked if I wanted to come over. He has a very passive aggressive way of being. So did I lose the opportunity to show him that I wasn't waiting around? I mean, I did answer the phone, but I didn't tell him anything he wanted to hear, like I did in the past. I was very light hearted on the phone. Here is the funny part; the next night he texted me some small talk, but when I texted him why don't we talk on the phone instead of texting, because it is a pain in the but. Are you ready for this, he turned off his phone. WHAT A JOKE. A couple of weeks ago, I would sent him a millon mes. for doing that. This time- nothing, and I have kept NC since than. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 stick to your NC from now on. Your guy sounds like mine....he prefers text to phone also!!!!! Is it the same one? lol kidding Mine does the same. calls just to make sure he still has me and when he does or i reassure him that I love him, he goes back to crap and ignores me. Just stick with NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whirlwindlove Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 LoL beth, it could be the same guy. From the sound of the threads on LS, i think there is a clone running around.LOL How long have you and your guy been seperated? I think we need to decide what we are going to put up with. For me, I believe I have had my fair share So, i will keep my NC. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 we have been together 3 yrs and not speaking for 2 weeks. Well i have tried and he ignores. This is the 5th or6th time he has ignored me and I have had it! we are long dist to top it off and to top that off he is not yet divorced and has a kid! So I have reached my limit. he only tries when a while has passed and i have not called and then he sweeps me off my feet. i hate it cause i fall back. Not this time though. The last time he called after a month, he text me for a week and talked that way....i finally asked "are we ever going to talk on the damn phone"??? iswear he would text and throw away his phone if he could. I hear songs and get really sad and miss him or see couples and get sad. The problem i have is i know he loves me. i know i love him, but i have to see that the way he treats me is not right. How long were you two together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author whirlwindlove Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 Beth it has been only two weeks! No wonder your so upset I was with my ex for a year, we have been broken up for a couple of months. It doesn't matter how long, I been with people longer,however this was a different kind of love. Beth I caused my breakup, and then proceeded, to feel exactly how your feeling. Time has helped me. I can't tell you how many millons of time I broke NC, and then felt rejected. What matters is not how many times you fall, it is how you get back up. Finally it clicked with me, and wouldn't you know it he called. of course it was out of seeing if I was still there. Hun, i know that heartache feeling, It took over me. Somehow, inch by inch, you find yourself again For me, it felt like everytime I would build a little me back, he somehow drain it again in a minute talking to him. This all from a man who said he never loved anyone like me before, and he thought I was it for him. Beth it has been a struggle for me, but I am working through it. I know the respect I deserve, and I don't want any less. You have to believe you do too. like you, i couldn't believe how my ex could ignore,and not respond. I felt like how can you treat someone like this, who you once loved? Beth he will deal with his grief in his way, and you in your way. It will get better. I read ur thread, don't feel bad, you cannot change the past, or erase your calls or texts. 2morrow is a new day, to start over. Sounds like you have a big heart, if your ex can't see that right now, he will in due time. Nobody forgets, those impressions of somebody loving them so much. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 whirl--thank you! That really helped. I really am counting on time to help. But, it hurts so much now! the problem i have is being in limbo?? is he going to call me? is this it? How could this man who loved me so much do this? I know people deal differently, but I hate the way he does!!!!! Iam not contacting anymore. I really did nothing wrong and that is what hurts most. I hope one day he does see that not too many women would wait around and be so patient with him. I think in 3 yearrs i spent about 25 days with him total. I waited casue he promised me marriage and a life with him. I just want to know if this is his phase or if it is done, but i have to get closure on my own i guess. do songs make you sad? I also remember last time this happ, the 1st time we talked, i hung up wondering why i was so upset over him??? Sometimes I think that I just hate the rejection. He knows this kills me. The only thing he asked me when we started talking again was if i had been with anyone during that time and was glad i was not. you would think after so many times of him doing this i would be like "oh ya he is ignoring me again...oh well....give it a month" but it still breaks my heart. I only asked that he called once a day or text once a day since we were long dist and he could not even make time for that! That is what we bickered about most. he is obsessed with his job and making $. i would have just been a damn trophey wife i think. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 whirl-so does he not tell you he wants it to be over? it gives me hope that you two talk even after you broke up tho? did you officailly break up? Link to post Share on other sites
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