Letmeknow Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 I went on 4 dates with this girl. (we are both 22 and the 1st date was our 2nd ever meetup) Each one better than the last with the final one being one of the greatest dates I've had of all time. I proceed to screw up whatever we have by opening up about a past relationship (she had opened up about other suicidal struggles) She then blew me off 3 nights in a row and I was ticked off that she did this and I ended it. I proceeded to send 4 messages over the course of the next 2 weeks that she didn't respond to. Fast forward 2 months to yesterday. She just began college again and I emailed her. She responded with, "Thank you for the apology and for being empathetic toward my struggles. I hope all is well with you. I'm happy you passed your exam, I know how much it means to you and how hard you studied for it. Best of luck in your career. Take care." Is there any chance that I could turn this back around (say over the course of a few months, years..etc) in my favor or is it over?
Redhead14 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 I went on 4 dates with this girl. (we are both 22 and the 1st date was our 2nd ever meetup) Each one better than the last with the final one being one of the greatest dates I've had of all time. I proceed to screw up whatever we have by opening up about a past relationship (she had opened up about other suicidal struggles) She then blew me off 3 nights in a row and I was ticked off that she did this and I ended it. I proceeded to send 4 messages over the course of the next 2 weeks that she didn't respond to. Fast forward 2 months to yesterday. She just began college again and I emailed her. She responded with, "Thank you for the apology and for being empathetic toward my struggles. I hope all is well with you. I'm happy you passed your exam, I know how much it means to you and how hard you studied for it. Best of luck in your career. Take care." Is there any chance that I could turn this back around (say over the course of a few months, years..etc) in my favor or is it over? Is there any chance that I could turn this back around (say over the course of a few months, years..etc) in my favor or is it over? -- Seriously, years? Get a grip. It's over. Look for someone else to date. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 You broke up with her. In essence you dumped her. Especially since she is now farther away from you at college, I don't think there is any sense trying to repair this. Let her go. Move on to your next relationship but be a bit more circumspect about how much you share.
empresario Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Let me translate her response for you... "Hey, Though at one time I appreciated you enough to let you in on some very personal issues of mine, I really have no interest in being your friend, lover, etc. However, since you've been continually reaching out for months, I figured I would try to give you some closure instead of continually blowing you off (apparently you didn't get the hint). Hopefully you realize I mean you no ill-will, I just know you're not right for me. Please move on, as I have done." 2
Author Letmeknow Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Is there any chance that I could turn this back around (say over the course of a few months, years..etc) in my favor or is it over? -- Seriously, years? Get a grip. It's over. Look for someone else to date. By years I meant not just for dating, but a way to leave it open for possible future encounters. It's over means a 0% chance, not even worth any tries?
Author Letmeknow Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Let me translate her response for you... "Hey, Though at one time I appreciated you enough to let you in on some very personal issues of mine, I really have no interest in being your friend, lover, etc. However, since you've been continually reaching out for months, I figured I would try to give you some closure instead of continually blowing you off (apparently you didn't get the hint). Hopefully you realize I mean you no ill-will, I just know you're not right for me. Please move on, as I have done." Thank you, I needed this.
Redhead14 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 By years I meant not just for dating, but a way to leave it open for possible future encounters. It's over means a 0% chance, not even worth any tries? Personally, if someone ends a dating scenario with me and then tries to reopen it, I say no thanks. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know their own mind or who decides to keep trying with someone who blew them off three times in a row. That person then becomes desperate,clingy and needy.
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 You ended it because she was not available for three days? And after ending it, you sent her several messages? Your chance of restarting it is very slim.
empresario Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Thank you, I needed this. You're welcome I've gotten a few of those messages in my day, as well. One girl I dated for 3 years, and was probably the healthiest relationship of my life. I dumped her because I was coming into my own (I'm a really late bloomer). She wanted a family, marriage, and a household...I wanted to keep starting my companies, work 20 hours a day, and party when I wasn't working. Instead of resenting her I broke it off with her. Only, we had this tradition where I would buy her cake every birthday. The first date we went on was on her birthday, you see. And she was new to the area. I didn't know it was her birthday at first, but when I found out (and that no one had even sent her a cake) I went out of my way to go to the store, buy her one, and put on a mini birthday party. Because of that once we broke up I knew how special her birthday was to her and would send her a cake every year. We would then email a couple times and then not talk until the next year. Last year, the delivery place cancelled my order on her birthday so I sent her a message apologizing and promised to make it right the next day. She sent me a message of similar tone/content to what you just sent me. That's when I knew she was over it. The moment didn't matter anymore, as important as it was for 5 years. Even though we were hardly acquaintances at that point, it still really hurt that a special moment between us had become trite. So, I know what you're feeling, but the best thing you can do is just move on. The moments you had were great in their time, but it's the past, and she's letting you know she's over it. 1
Jejangles Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Yep, it's done. The phrase that tells me that is "take care". That's almost always a closer statement and in dating relationships means "you take care of yourself, because I won't be around to help". Move on, you guys weren't the right fit, there's someone else out there who will be a better choice for you. 1
Vercetti Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Best of luck...it's over.....I expect her to be sending letters like that from human resource during mass layoffs .
Author Letmeknow Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 You ended it because she was not available for three days? And after ending it, you sent her several messages? Your chance of restarting it is very slim. It was not because she was unavailable. It was because she scheduled and told me 3 days in a row that we would go out, but she bailed every time (and after the 3rd time I told her I could no longer deal with her). Yeah...several messages was definitely stupid. Thanks for the honest opinions.
Author Letmeknow Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Yep, it's done. The phrase that tells me that is "take care". That's almost always a closer statement and in dating relationships means "you take care of yourself, because I won't be around to help". Move on, you guys weren't the right fit, there's someone else out there who will be a better choice for you. I figured this was true, I was hoping maybe there was some way to work around it.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Nah, as the others have said, she's not interested anymore. Time to just let this one go.
Qboro90 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 It's over. Her email reply was actually a really nice way of telling you that. Anytime someone "wishes you the best in your future/career, etc" it's them saying "I'm not interested in having you in my life but you're a nice guy so I hope things work out for you". Respect that and move on. Weeks, months, years down the road. You can't think like that. No one can plan or expect things that far in advance. You never know what can happen 2 years from now. But this girl shouldn't be s factor in your thoughts and actions here on out. Utilize your time and effort on other people and other opportunities. 1
Author Letmeknow Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 (edited) We're back in contact but not worth discussing online. Yall were all wrong. Edited October 15, 2015 by Letmeknow Dead
xcupid Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 She responded with, "Thank you for the apology and for being empathetic toward my struggles. I hope all is well with you. I'm happy you passed your exam, I know how much it means to you and how hard you studied for it. Best of luck in your career. Take care." Is there any chance that I could turn this back around (say over the course of a few months, years..etc) in my favor or is it over? Does that sound like someone who is interested in you? Nope. It's over.
Author Letmeknow Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 What about this response to my email today, "Although our careers are completely different...we do have one thing in common: risk is opportunity. Call me." Then a 10 minute phone call followed by a music suggestion text.
todreaminblue Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 What about this response to my email today, "Although our careers are completely different...we do have one thing in common: risk is opportunity. Call me." Then a 10 minute phone call followed by a music suggestion text. who can say what will happen in the future.....but...going by her first email it looked like she was sending you a wish you well text or email.....i would highly suggest you take it real slow and let her lead the conversations for now.....deb
Author Letmeknow Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 That's exactly what I did and now I'm going over to her place tonight for a party. We've been texting/talking a lot the past few days: Her last messages at 130 am at the end of Thursday night were: Her: See you Saturday Her: Be yourself Her: Be MYNAME Her: I kinda sorta was falling in love with him so...just be you. Her: Goodnight Her: [Heart Emoji] Her: You know what... Her: I was falling in love with him... Me: [kissy face] Her: I was too naive and anxious to stand up to my dad.. Her: Maybe one day soon, after getting close to you, I mean really close, I'll be able to talk to him after several months. We shall see. Goodnight. I fell asleep and then didn't address this yesterday...should I bring up what she said at all?? Because throwing the L word around over text especially after our past is kinda crazy (she also used the L word multiple times in other parts of our conversations)
Jame22 Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 (edited) That's exactly what I did and now I'm going over to her place tonight for a party. We've been texting/talking a lot the past few days: Her last messages at 130 am at the end of Thursday night were: Her: See you Saturday Her: Be yourself Her: Be MYNAME Her: I kinda sorta was falling in love with him so...just be you. Her: Goodnight Her: [Heart Emoji] Her: You know what... Her: I was falling in love with him... Me: [kissy face] Her: I was too naive and anxious to stand up to my dad.. Her: Maybe one day soon, after getting close to you, I mean really close, I'll be able to talk to him after several months. We shall see. Goodnight. I fell asleep and then didn't address this yesterday...should I bring up what she said at all?? Because throwing the L word around over text especially after our past is kinda crazy (she also used the L word multiple times in other parts of our conversations) Sounds like she's drunky I don't know what any of that means, but don't get your hopes up. And I definitely wouldn't go to that party. Take her on a date if she actually meant it Edited October 18, 2015 by Jame22
Eighty_nine Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 So the troubles originated with you opening up about a past relationship? That's it?
Zippy2000 Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 (edited) Admitted I havent read every single post but why is everyone so negative and saying move on and date someone else. The fact that she has replied. Id reply back and maybe ask a question and see if she responds. If she does then great. You dont know until you reply. Why not give it a shot and take it from there. Edited October 18, 2015 by Zippy2000
Author Letmeknow Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 Oh lordy... This weekend was wacked. She came over to my apartment Saturday..and we ended up having sex. Then I did go to her party Saturday night and she asked me to sleep over at the end of it...but we did not hook up again. Sunday morning coffee then I left..then she hits me up 2 hours later and drives out to my place with her friends and then my friend comes and we all hang out for 4 hours or so.. She has culturally family issues and me being white is going to prevent a relationship from happening in my opinion. I think i can either: 1) Have fun with her 2) End it I can't just have fun with her as I am a relationship type of person. I'm waiting on a reply to a text I sent her at 845 last night..
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