knathema Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Hey all, it has been a while and here I am finding myself browsing these forums again. It's been bothering me so I figure I'll do some venting. I am 26 years old. I have been dating this girl (23) for 2 years and 6 months now, she is a wonderful girl and we never had any major problems in our relationship (no physical abuse, no cheating, etc). Occasionally we do get into some verbal arguments. We've also never taken any breaks before either. A few nights ago she came to my house and told me that she's been thinking about us and discussed with me perhaps breaking up is a better option. She asked for my opinions. I asked her why she felt that way and she told me because we haven't gone out in real dates in a while, given that she works graveyard shift and I was taking summer classes (a busy quarter). We talked about it and decided that we would keep trying. We went shopping the next day and everything "seemed" normal. Now that my summer classes are finished so I can spend more time with her. Anyway, we have previously planned a camping trip with some friends but I ended up not going. That day I felt sick probably from a combination of lack of sleep and just stress in general. It was also a really long drive and raining at the same time (I absolutely hate camping in the rain). So I asked her if it's ok if I don't go, she said it was fine and gave me a kiss before she left. I know I was being selfish. That whole day I felt so bad and sad, and I kept regretting not going with her. I seriously felt like I had a broken heart. Later that night, I cried. Maybe the timing was really bad, a combination of feeling the guilt of not going and under the circumstance that she came to my house a few nights ago suggesting a potential breakup. I felt like I just threw away the chance of trying to improve our relationship by not going camping and spending time with her. Any advice on how I should approach this? Should I write an apology letter to her? She comes home tomorrow and I am preparing myself for the worst case scenario possible. I might just be overthinking this but I am not sure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
HereNorThere Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Id probably just be prepared for the break-up. She already gave you a second chance and you blew it, big time. I doubt you'll recover. She's going to expect you to grovel and things like that, so your best bet is to be cool about it. Otherwise, you'll fall right into her a little trap. She wants you to throw a big fit so you can look like that bad guy and reaffirm her decision. Don't fall for it. 1
Siquijor Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 When you decided against the camping trip you should have sincerely promised her to make it up to her in the way of another trip or date fairly soon afterwards. Best start planning something real quick I reckon. 2
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 I think you did the right thing not going when you're not feeling well. What bothers you now is more like fear, not guilt. Why should you feel guilty? You're just afraid anything that displeases her will mean a break up. When you said no to camping, you were sensible and honest. If want to be really dishonest, when she comes back, you can pretend to be sicker than you really are
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 What would you be apologizing for, exactly? Not feeling well? I think she is likely on her way out anyways, OP. Unfortunately, when she first brought up the idea of a break, she already had one foot out the door. Your best bet is to do something special with her in lieu of being able to go away on this camping trip. I wouldn't write an apology letter though. Not necessary,
road Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Not feeling well? Did you go to the Dr? You were what I call an excuse maker. You did not want to go camping because weather was not ideal. You regret not going because you realized that you being selfish may of caused you to lose her. Now any smart man would of jumped on the opportunity to be spending the night in a sleeping bag with a girl. Then the smarter men would of realized that of the weather was that bad he could recused them into a motel. However you put yourself first over your GF need for more attention from her BF. 1
road Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 If you have smartened up you would get in your car, drive up to the camp ground with a rose saying you had to come up because you missed her so much.
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