highseas Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) Quick background: I dated this girl several times over the summer. She had to travel a few times (for real, not just as stories) and I feel that we kind of lost momentum despite what I believe to be some initial sparks. Last date was more than a month ago and we only had a couple of short text messages since then. Since that last date, I asked to go to dinner and she said she was busy and would get back but never did. I still like her, but I have more or less written it off since she seems to have lost interest. Current situation: I unexpected bumped into her today at work. She is not a co-worker, but let's just say that it turned out that we will likely cross paths at my work on a regular basis. I didn't see her at first; she saw me first, and I was still at a distance when she had what seemed to be a big smile on her face and waved at me through the crowd. I walked over (I was going that direction anyway) and I stopped and made small talk for maybe 3 minutes (others were nearby also) and ended it first by moving on to my original destination. My reaction: I was surprised that she was smiling and waving at me at a distance. In texts, she seemed distant; I felt my texts weren't wanted. It was the first time we saw one another in many weeks, and we now know that we will probably bump into each other now on a regular basis (don't want to go into details, that's just the fact; not me trying to bump into her). We made small talk; I asked her a couple questions; she answered and asked me a couple questions. Towards the end I casually suggested she could stop by my cubicle to catch up "sometime" (indefinite) and ended the short convo shortly after that. My questions: Am I just making too big a deal out of her (seemingly big) smiling and waving? Is there any chance of our going out again? Should I ask her out, and if so under what circumstances? What should I do whenever our paths are crossed as they almost certainly will from time to time? Just say a quick hi and move on my way? Say hi and make small talk and move on (like what I did)? (I can't imagine us not acknowledging one another, especially after our most recent interaction). My current thinking is, if she does drop by my work cubicle to catch up then that would signal a turnaround and I should ask her out then. But if not, then I just say hi and move on. Maybe make very small talk once in a while, but no asking her out. Your thoughts are appreciated! Edited September 1, 2015 by highseas
nescafe1982 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 If you like her, and things are amicable, why not ask her out? It's the only way to know for sure. Good luck, OP! 1
Gary S Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 You are absolutely right, you two lost momentum. If they are too busy to see you at least once a week, you'll probably loose momentum, so it's a lost cause.
UntitledNotepad Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 You are absolutely right, you two lost momentum. If they are too busy to see you at least once a week, you'll probably loose momentum, so it's a lost cause. Gary you are dead wrong. "it's a lost cause". No no no. OP, ask her out. The worst she can say is "no"! I would suggest maybe starting out with a "semi-date" to judge where things are with her, such as helping you with something work-related. Then if you feel like you two are getting along, go ahead and ask her on a real date. Always ask for the date because the very worst that could happen is getting a "no". 1
Author highseas Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 I still have the guts to ask her out in person or in text, but what's holding me back is that she didn't get back to me as she said she would when I asked her out last time (weeks ago), and the distant behavior in texting. So I didn't/don't want to push it by asking her out again without some positive sign of interest from her. Now this smiling and waving thing got me thinking again that maybe, just maybe, this is not totally dead yet. I asked a close female friend if the girl could be faking her big smile and my friend said no, most likely not faking. The fact is, I was myself surprised by her friendly demeanor and I missed her, and it was so good to see her after weeks of thinking about her and not seeing her. Yes, we did lose momentum. Could it be rekindled? It all started out quite well. How best to do that? By staying polite and aloof or by being friendly and chatty? I think I did leave the door open and the ball in her court by staying "stop by to catch up" sometime. Should I be even more assertive despite the earlier shot-down/fade? Just reading too much into her most recent behavior? Was this a reset?
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