ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl My ex isn't sad, isn't crying, isn't regretting his decision, either. He in fact seems to be skipping quite happily back to his bachelor life. There isn't even another woman in the picture but he still prefers to be alone than to be with me in any capacity other than "friends". Which also tells ME I meant nothing to him. Sooooooo hard to take. It's like he just switched off his feelings. I don't understand people who can do that. Pursuing-then-panicking JERK!!!! Wow. That sucks. Well I know her new "interest" had a lot to do with her leaving me. He pursued her, charmed her, hasn't pressured her, etc. With that pressure off her shoulders from me wanting to get married, she too is "skipping happily along..." without me.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl My ex isn't sad, isn't crying, isn't regretting his decision, either. He in fact seems to be skipping quite happily back to his bachelor life. There isn't even another woman in the picture but he still prefers to be alone than to be with me in any capacity other than "friends". Which also tells ME I meant nothing to him. Sooooooo hard to take. It's like he just switched off his feelings. I don't understand people who can do that. Pursuing-then-panicking JERK!!!! Just a testament that he is not the one for you. Sunshinegirl you WILL find someone for you it's just a matter of time. Don't waste any more energy thinking about this jerk. Everything must end, and unfortunately he was an arse for the way he went about it. You can't fault him for moving on. My ex has moved on already too- the difference is- she handled our break up with class, and even though the realization that we're not right for each other is a hard pill to swallow- she was right, and she deserves to move on. Since she handled it so gracefully is testament to why I fell in love with her in the first place. She's special.
whitewhale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by YouGotServed I agree with you Sunshine. You spend a good year or two with them and then they turn off their feelings. They move on like nothing ever happened. Did they ever care about you in the first place?. Some people in the world are just plain cold and Karma will always come back and haunt them. SUnshine has the right type of phrase to describe my ex - panicking then pursuing jerk. I wonder if it was also like that - switching his feelings off. Gooosh that sucks. Will he pay though?... I dunno
sunshinegirl Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Just a testament that he is not the one for you. Sunshinegirl you WILL find someone for you it's just a matter of time. Don't waste any more energy thinking about this jerk. Everything must end, and unfortunately he was an arse for the way he went about it. You can't fault him for moving on. My ex has moved on already too- the difference is- she handled our break up with class, and even though the realization that we're not right for each other is a hard pill to swallow- she was right, and she deserves to move on. Since she handled it so gracefully is testament to why I fell in love with her in the first place. She's special. Thanks, outdated. Not to make you dwell on something painful, but I'd be curious to hear what a "classy" breakup looks like...
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by whitewhale SUnshine has the right type of phrase to describe my ex - panicking then pursuing jerk. I wonder if it was also like that - switching his feelings off. Gooosh that sucks. Will he pay though?... I dunno I doesn't matter, and if he does pay for it, you'll never know, so what difference does it make? It's fun to think that someone that treated you like sh*t will come crawling back, but when there's a whole world of people to treat like sh*t, then why would they bother. Take peace knowing that one day their karma will catch up with them. Treat everyone you have a relationship with with grace and they will always remember you in good spirits, even if they don't come back. While they're destroying their karma, you're enhancing yours.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl Thanks, outdated. Not to make you dwell on something painful, but I'd be curious to hear what a "classy" breakup looks like... Well, it's all how she handled it I suppose that made it classy. We didn't fight, I heard what she had to say. I didn't like it at first, but didn't want to rush into any assumptions that she was wrong. She listened to what I had to say, and was patient with me. She gave me a card saying she cherished our time blah, blah, blah. She came and collected some of her stuff and we've been giving stuff back to each other every now and then. She still has some of my stuff, and I'm in no hurry to get it. She was vague on her reasons as dumpers often are, but in the end the result is what I know: she doesn't love me anymore in the sense of a boyfriend. I hope she finds what she's looking for, and she hopes I end up happier. She's moved on to someone new, and all I can do is wish her well.
Fallen_Angel Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated Hello Lovely Fallen Angel- soon to be RISING ANGEL- I am making progress. The part I have trouble with is the loss of companionship- even if it's not the girl for me in the end. She's found someone else, and maybe they're right for each other, only time will tell. Soon that loss of my friend will cease and there will be a new friend. Busy later? You're so sweet...so sweet, in fact, I'm sure you'll find someone deserving of you sooner rather than later. I remember my ex said during THE conversation that this hurts because we became best friends. It is hard to lose such a large part of your life - he and I talked every day! I didn't get to see him much because he's in his first year of grad school, but I miss the time we did get to spend together. Unfortunately he called last night. I say unfortunately because by the end of the conversation I was in tears. He wants to hang out in a few weeks, "if you're up to it." He still wants "time" to figure things out, whatever that means. I can't imagine him seeing someone else, what with him being entirely too busy with school...and I admitted the idea of him with another girl really hurt. He said "You think it doesn't hurt me to think of you with another guy?!" And he also said he's still "feeling all the same feelings" I'm experiencing. Hmph. You mean to tell me he's crying every day and hoping against hope I'll change my mind? Oh, right, I'm not the one who has to change my mind here. Punk. I keep telling myself I deserve someone who really loves me, someone who does not for one second have to doubt how he feels about me. Someday my prince will come. I think.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Well Fallen Angel, look at it this way. Everytime I've split from someone I thought I'll never find someone else that is worthy of more than a good shag. And I find quite a few of them. And when I stop thinking about the fact that I'm single and just start rolling with the punches, a new one with a little more to offer comes around. I keep thinking that I'm getting too old and all the good ones are already taken, but then one appears out of the wood work. Just hope and believe and learn from your mistakes. And keep the NC alive until you can make it through a conversation without crying. Baby steps, baby!
theone44 Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by outdated Finally, after two months of pining and wondering found out she's with someone else. I finally cried! It's unbelievable that it took so long, and not the fact that she's gone but with someone else that made me do it. Also I was a little drunk . But I didn't call. I didn't call! I think the fact that I didn't get emotional until after two months, actually 2 today shows how shut off I am from reality. HOpefully the doors of perception are opening up... After I finally let it all out in the solitude of my bathroom, I felt much better and felt as if I had taken the first step towards independence. Then I did the old thinking of her having hot sex with her new man- just to get it out of my head for good, and it didn't bother me much. It wasn't so hot that it can't be replaced. I hope she doesn't show him my signature move!!! I wish I hadn't waited so long to do it... it might have made the last two months a little easier. Bottling it in was making me sick. NC does work, and there's a lot of hope in the future. Already eyeing a cutie... A word of thanks to everyone who has helped on the LS. It's much better than making your friends crazy! I agree with alpha am.........no woman on the face of this this earth is worth the misery. I rather cry over losing a millions dollars,and a a six pack of beer...
North Shore Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Well, if you and Alpha truly feel that there is no woman worth crying over, then you can be sure there never will be. It's amazing to me that men can have these attitudes and then wonder why their girlfriends left them. Hope you can one day find a self-esteemed challenged idiot willing to stick around and put up with someone that openly admits that they will never care enough about them to even shed one tear.
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