outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Finally, after two months of pining and wondering found out she's with someone else. I finally cried! It's unbelievable that it took so long, and not the fact that she's gone but with someone else that made me do it. Also I was a little drunk . But I didn't call. I didn't call! I think the fact that I didn't get emotional until after two months, actually 2 today shows how shut off I am from reality. HOpefully the doors of perception are opening up... After I finally let it all out in the solitude of my bathroom, I felt much better and felt as if I had taken the first step towards independence. Then I did the old thinking of her having hot sex with her new man- just to get it out of my head for good, and it didn't bother me much. It wasn't so hot that it can't be replaced. I hope she doesn't show him my signature move!!! I wish I hadn't waited so long to do it... it might have made the last two months a little easier. Bottling it in was making me sick. NC does work, and there's a lot of hope in the future. Already eyeing a cutie... A word of thanks to everyone who has helped on the LS. It's much better than making your friends crazy!
alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated Finally, after two months of pining and wondering found out she's with someone else. I finally cried! no woman is worth crying over. they are all replaceable. NC does work no shyt it works when used correctly. but very few use it correctly.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 No woman is worth crying over. It wasn't her I was crying for- it was me. I had felt like sh*t for so long, it was just an excellent release. Helped me clear my head and wonder what it really was that I was dealing with. HOw I could make myself better, not how she had hurt me. And yes, everyone is replacable, until the one that isn't.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I think it's OK to cry, just don't cry in front of her like I did.
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale no woman is worth crying over. they are all replaceable. BS Alpha! Maybe some men don't cry but they DEFINATELY feel that pain! (some) Men turn it into something else - Anger. That's the internalized opposite of crying eh. Just FYI.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Never in front of her. By the time I got around to it, she was long gone . I guess it had to come out sometime. It needed to. Like I said- cleared the head and heart.
Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Alpha... I can't wait till you fall in love again...CAN'T WAIT!!!
Pocky Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 There's nothing wrong with crying over the loss of someone that is no longer in your life. There's nothing wrong with crying over the loss of a relationship that you valued and cherished. Most things when done in moderation can cleanse the mind and allow you to move forward.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated Never in front of her. By the time I got around to it, she was long gone . I guess it had to come out sometime. It needed to. Like I said- cleared the head and heart. I still have a lot of crying left in me. This one is going to take a few more months to get over. I wish I had stuck to NC. It would have made things so much easier.
Pocky Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Alpha... I can't wait till you fall in love again...CAN'T WAIT!!! I'd rather he not - he'll make her as miserable as he is.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 COC- I actually used your quote "My destiny is not tied to those who leave," in my final response to one of her texts. Seemed fitting.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated COC- I actually used your quote "My destiny is not tied to those who leave," in my final response to one of her texts. Seemed fitting. Good! I know I need to stick to NC.....
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 sadly, COC there's no other way. You can't be friends, for now, and you can't look back.
Fallen_Angel Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Awww, you're making so much progress! This makes me happy. It does you no good to keep feelings bottled up. You'd only feel worse once the volcano explodes, so to speak. I know I still have a lot of crying left, which sucks because I've been crying just about every day for almost 6 weeks. And we spent the whole breakup conversation/most of our last night together crying in front of each other. No wonder I feel so physically out of whack.
whitewhale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 yr phrase, the one that U told me was sb else's about destiny seems to gain on popularity here
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by Fallen_Angel Awww, you're making so much progress! This makes me happy. It does you no good to keep feelings bottled up. You'd only feel worse once the volcano explodes, so to speak. I know I still have a lot of crying left, which sucks because I've been crying just about every day for almost 6 weeks. And we spent the whole breakup conversation/most of our last night together crying in front of each other. No wonder I feel so physically out of whack. I think mine hurts so bad because she ISN'T sad, she ISN'T crying, and she ISN'T regretting her decision. That's what's so hard for me to take. I know she wasn't into me but sheesh, talk about sticking a knife in your heart and twisting it.....
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Hello Lovely Fallen Angel- soon to be RISING ANGEL- I am making progress. The part I have trouble with is the loss of companionship- even if it's not the girl for me in the end. She's found someone else, and maybe they're right for each other, only time will tell. Soon that loss of my friend will cease and there will be a new friend. Busy later?
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated Hello Lovely Fallen Angel- soon to be RISING ANGEL- I am making progress. The part I have trouble with is the loss of companionship- even if it's not the girl for me in the end. She's found someone else, and maybe they're right for each other, only time will tell. Soon that loss of my friend will cease and there will be a new friend. Busy later? Same here. Lost my companion but no best friend was she....that's for sure.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I think mine hurts so bad because she ISN'T sad, she ISN'T crying, and she ISN'T regretting her decision. That's what's so hard for me to take. I know she wasn't into me but sheesh, talk about sticking a knife in your heart and twisting it..... My ex isn't regretting her decision either. Obviously. And we had a great love-filled relationship. She's moved on (yours and mine) and it suck like nothing else, but there is hope. YOU DON'T NEED THIS GIRL IN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE. She was cruel to you. Mine wasn't and I hope in time we can be friends, but not now.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 You can't help emotion. If you are very upset, crying is a consequence. You can surpress it but where does that get you? Alpha is just a closet gay acting macho. Don't listen to him NC does work, It worked for me and about 80% of the members on LS. good luck and don't be afraid to show your true self.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated My ex is regretting her decision either. Obviously. And we had a great love-filled relationship. She's moved on (yours and mine) and it suck like nothing else, but there is hope. YOU DON'T NEED THIS GIRL IN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE. She was cruel to you. Mine wasn't and I hope in time we can be friends, but not now. I know, I know, I know. I should be saying that to myself all the time. There HAS to be someone out there better for me than her. I darn sure didn't deserve to be treated that way. Whatever her reasons, I hope at some point she at least shows some remorse....probably not, but at least if she was a bit remorseful I'd feel better. When she jumped to the other guy so fast, she basically was telling me I meant nothing to her.
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue You can't help emotion. If you are very upset, crying is a consequence. You can surpress it but where does that get you? Alpha is just a closet gay acting macho. Don't listen to him NC does work, It worked for me and about 80% of the members on LS. good luck and don't be afraid to show your true self. Thank you. I hope the other 20% aren't too bad off...
Author outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I know, I know, I know. I should be saying that to myself all the time. There HAS to be someone out there better for me than her. I darn sure didn't deserve to be treated that way. Whatever her reasons, I hope at some point she at least shows some remorse....probably not, but at least if she was a bit remorseful I'd feel better. When she jumped to the other guy so fast, she basically was telling me I meant nothing to her. I don't know about not meaning anything to her. That's just the way some people are. Hate to keep using my ex as a reference point, but she is in a new relationship(don't know how serious, don't really care) and she cared a lot for me. SHe loved me. Still does. We're still not each other's soulmates. But that doesn't make it any easier one way or another. Whether they cared for you or not doesn't ease the pain. But unless it kills you, it will go away, probably just as soon as you cuddle up to someone else.
sunshinegirl Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I know, I know, I know. I should be saying that to myself all the time. There HAS to be someone out there better for me than her. I darn sure didn't deserve to be treated that way. Whatever her reasons, I hope at some point she at least shows some remorse....probably not, but at least if she was a bit remorseful I'd feel better. When she jumped to the other guy so fast, she basically was telling me I meant nothing to her. My ex isn't sad, isn't crying, isn't regretting his decision, either. He in fact seems to be skipping quite happily back to his bachelor life. There isn't even another woman in the picture but he still prefers to be alone than to be with me in any capacity other than "friends". Which also tells ME I meant nothing to him. Sooooooo hard to take. It's like he just switched off his feelings. I don't understand people who can do that. Pursuing-then-panicking JERK!!!!
YouGotServed Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl My ex isn't sad, isn't crying, isn't regretting his decision, either. He in fact seems to be skipping quite happily back to his bachelor life. There isn't even another woman in the picture but he still prefers to be alone than to be with me in any capacity other than "friends". Which also tells ME I meant nothing to him. Sooooooo hard to take. It's like he just switched off his feelings. I don't understand people who can do that. Pursuing-then-panicking JERK!!!! I agree with you Sunshine. You spend a good year or two with them and then they turn off their feelings. They move on like nothing ever happened. Did they ever care about you in the first place?. Some people in the world are just plain cold and Karma will always come back and haunt them.
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