fred123 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Id like to hear peoples experiences both guys and girls that made them change the way they deal with the opposite sex. Mine may be crazy to others but my standard is very low these days. I ask girls what they mean when they say certain things so there is no miscommunication. I ask them if they will kiss other boys when we go out to the bar and if they want to talk with me. Il ask them before hand if they like me as a friend or more thana friend. This helps me not get screwed over and i can then make the decision whether to meet up with them or not. It has worked for me! 1
Celeste.Carol Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Fred I believe it is best not to wear your heart on your sleeve. People are out to dupe others and use them in whichever way for their own selfish reasons. I think the best way to play smart is take it really slow even if the other is pushing and coming off like too good to be true. I have no ulterior motives so when they do bat me in the face with that ideal, I tend to recoil and not wish to take a chance again.
Author fred123 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Fred I believe it is best not to wear your heart on your sleeve. People are out to dupe others and use them in whichever way for their own selfish reasons. I think the best way to play smart is take it really slow even if the other is pushing and coming off like too good to be true. I have no ulterior motives so when they do bat me in the face with that ideal, I tend to recoil and not wish to take a chance again. Yes makes sense. Il take the advice on board. iv had experiences with girls which have made me feel like crap and i see these same girls completely different in the way they treat guys they really like. iv learnt to be cautious and avoid getting played
Jj66 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Preemptive strike. Hurt them before they can hurt you.
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 One of my first questions: Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Are you in ANY type of monogamous relationship? Yep I ask all that in one sentence. Believe it or not if I simply ask 'are you married' some men will answer no while they're living with their girlfriend for years. I'm not getting tricked in that question ever again. When they ask me what I am looking for I stopped answering something serious. They don't understand what it means. I now answer: I am looking for a boyfriend, not a friend, not a fwb, not a hook up, not casual dating, none of these will work on me, I am looking for a real boyfriend. 2
SSJROMANCE Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 It's hard to trust people nowadays and for me I can't even trust my wife. So all you can do is be extra careful and know that lots of people are capable of playing you like a fool. Hope for the best expect the worst.
Jj66 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) When they ask me what I am looking for I stopped answering something serious. They don't understand what it means. I now answer: I am looking for a boyfriend, not a friend, not a fwb, not a hook up, not casual dating, none of these will work on me, I am looking for a real boyfriend. I wish the women I met were as clear about what they wanted as you are. They usually leave me guessing. "I just want to see where things go" is a typical answer. So how early in the dating process do you ask someone what he or she wants? Couldn't that be seen as a little presumptuous on the first or second date? Edited August 31, 2015 by Jj66 1
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 So how early in the dating process do you ask someone what he or she wants? Couldn't that be seen as a little presumptuous on the first or second date? I ask this on a very first contact online. It's my 3rd or 4th question. I am not getting out to meet a man without knowing his purpose on a dating site. 1
Amelie1980 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Everybody lies. Doesn't mean any of your screening questions are answered truthfully. 1
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Everybody lies. Doesn't mean any of your screening questions are answered truthfully. You'd be surprised. I was talking to this man and he was saying his search was serious so I said to him: Ok so you mean if you meet a lady and you feel great chemistry together you will delete your profile after 5 or so dates? He said no. He's serious but not THAT serious I'm liking my new screening method. 3
todreaminblue Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 theres less chance fo hurt if you know the person real life style a fair bit before dating them ...if you see how they interact with others and those close to them...find out a bit about them so you dont go in blind ......it also helps develop a foundation to build on knowing a person before you decide to take it further......so starting from friendship i believe is important.....deb 1
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 theres less chance fo hurt if you know the person real life style a fair bit before dating them ...if you see how they interact with others and those close to them...find out a bit about them so you dont go in blind ......it also helps develop a foundation to build on knowing a person before you decide to take it further......so starting from friendship i believe is important.....deb I close the door on any man that pronounce the word 'friendship'. More often than not it means they want a FWB. I am not falling in that trap.
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 You can't always protect yourself from getting hurt. Loss is part of love unfortunately. Screening Qs are good. The ones you have chosen to ask are a bit off. As a woman if you asked me if I would kiss other guys when we go out, I'd wonder what kind of woman you thought I was and what kind of people you dated in the past. You can't ask somebody about this in advance. You simply evaluate the behavior. Some folks are kissers. They check kiss all sorts of people hello & goodbye. A chaste thing like this is not a threat to you. If she's making out with another guy, you don't need to stick around. I'd refine your screening Qs. Make sure you use the word "date" when asking to meet. That clarifies the platonic v romance angle.
Oregon_Dude Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 If you want to protect yourself from getting hurt, do the following: 1. Lock yourself indoors 2. Have every meal delivered 3. Prepare an earthquake kit 4. NO HUMAN CONTACT WHATSOEVER!
kendahke Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Id like to hear peoples experiences both guys and girls that made them change the way they deal with the opposite sex. Mine may be crazy to others but my standard is very low these days. I ask girls what they mean when they say certain things so there is no miscommunication. I ask them if they will kiss other boys when we go out to the bar and if they want to talk with me. Il ask them before hand if they like me as a friend or more thana friend. This helps me not get screwed over and i can then make the decision whether to meet up with them or not. It has worked for me! I have to agree. Knowing is freedom. Speculating is torture. Just ask a dang question so you know where you stand.
Author fred123 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 You can't always protect yourself from getting hurt. Loss is part of love unfortunately. Screening Qs are good. The ones you have chosen to ask are a bit off. As a woman if you asked me if I would kiss other guys when we go out, I'd wonder what kind of woman you thought I was and what kind of people you dated in the past. You can't ask somebody about this in advance. You simply evaluate the behavior. Some folks are kissers. They check kiss all sorts of people hello & goodbye. A chaste thing like this is not a threat to you. If she's making out with another guy, you don't need to stick around. I'd refine your screening Qs. Make sure you use the word "date" when asking to meet. That clarifies the platonic v romance angle. The only reason i ask that is because of what happened last time with the girl i liked. If i had asked her before hand if she was gonna kiss other guys in the club when we went together i wouldnt have traveeled across the country to see her. Would have saved the time and humiliation and heart break. With regards to asking for a date. I have made it clear before by saying romantic date or dinner etc and they still say yes then turn around and get mad when i flirt with them by saying im just a friend. Why would they say yes to a romantic dinner or date? Why would one fly down to see another person? Surely some things are implied no. What about asking the girl straight up " when you say you like me and have feelings for me do you mean more than a friend". Is that a valid questiòn to ask?
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